This is why I love to learn. I am attracted to knowing things I do not know. It is a positive thing for me. Some might not agree about knowing things yet unknown as a positive thing, but I do. I can agree that we are all different and what we want out of life would be different as well. The comfortability of having things stay constant is understood and at some level I also like consistency in life. It is not the reality of life and no matter how much I may wish for it to be so, it isn't. My internal motivation to know and understand keeps me focused on the bigger picture of experiencing change. Like I said, on some level I wish things could remain the same but that level is not real. It is just nostalgic. What I really want is more change in mighty ways and that is my true wish for life. It always comes back to the fact that life is short and all the living I want to do in it will not get accomplished. My wish is for me to somehow suspend the paradigm of time to allow for a fuller and deeper experience with life before it is over and the end of my life occurs. With what I presently know I am unable to configure a theory for suspending time. That doesn't mean that some variation of that does not exist. It just means that if it does exist, it is as yet, unknown to me. Hence the drive to know the unknowable. I may seem a little unrealistic but realism has been evolving and who is to say what realism will look like in the future? I have no illusions about finding the "fountain of youth" but that does not mean I give up all search for it. I get to define what my life will be about and I will do just that. Somehow when my time in existence is up, I will at least know before I leave existence, (probably through death, lol.) that I have not given up on what can be, only on what there is at the time.
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