Our lives are always out ahead of us (#1139)

There is no going back. As much as the allure of the past draws me in, I cannot get past the fact that the past is gone and only my memories remain. Although I say only my memories, I do respect the power of my memories to captivate and seduce me. The best of times from my past have the greatest hold on me and given that my present and near future hold less than sterling times, I am susceptible to how things "were". Being human is not an easy task although the alternative is not thinkable. I am torn between so many differing emotions at practically the same time that it can all get a little bit confusing. What keeps me balanced and in control however is my reasoned and trained behavioral practices of calming myself and letting the passion of my emotions subside until I can think clearly about what I have just remembered. Our hearts want what they want and that is precisely what can get me into trouble quicker than anything I know. However, emotion on my end does not mean emotion on the other's end. I reconcile that and using logic move on to other thoughts and actions. What one beautiful idea I have come to realize as true is that I am just a visitor in my own life and the force of my life will carry me where it will go despite the feelings I acquire along the way. I will get to love and lose at love as a consequence of being alive and experiencing the outcome of such things will be as they are and not as I want them to be. I can only hope that maybe sometime in my life I will be gifted with a requited passion that equals or surpasses mine. Regardless though and unless maybe until then, I will keep having powerful memories that enchant me but not control me and I will keep looking forward to the future to see what new and exciting adventure awaits me.