Humility was a hard lesson for me. Simply because I felt that I had to validate myself through being right. Which in itself is not bad, except the thought that I needed to validate my existence, but the bad comes in when I didn't do enough work to make sure I was right. I chastise myself enough as it is when I discover I am wrong about something I presented as right but it is even more angst driven when someone or more also point it out to me. Like in the woods, when I was on a logging crew. If I fell off a fallen tree while limbing it and no one saw me fall I would mentally be better than if someone saw me fall. It is like I don't like others to see me fail, for some reason it hurts more. I have gotten over that mental sidetrack and now just allow what happens to happen and if that happening is right and good then onward to the next but if that happening is wrong, well then I need to fess up and do my due diligence to not only correct it but to apologize for the initial error. I have the old "hat in hand" approach down now since I seem to use it enough to remain polished at the action. It is genuine and serious since I do hold myself to a higher standard than others hold me to. But what I get out of being humble when I am wrong is the correct perspective of my intentions in the first place. I am reminded that although I am wrong I was forwarding what I thought was helpful for others. So correcting the action and doing so with a truly apologetic soul, I remain the person who I wish more than ever to stay.
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