Often times when I was growing up I felt that I wasn't as worthy as others. Like I was less because of things I thought or were part of or didn't stop from happening. I thought it was just me who was incapable of being a model citizen. What I learned over time is that I am not alone in this fearful unworthiness thinking. We all go through times in our lives when we feel less than we should have been. We all make mistakes, even when at the time, the mistakes weren't apparent. It is the nature of our species to learn through trial and error when we cannot reason out or are not given the solution to so many choices we have to make. Thus like all of us at some or many times in our lives we realize and humbly accept our regret for not being what we wish we had been instead of being who we were at the time. I cannot go back and change anything about myself but what I can do is accept that I am worthy of being alive and in that make a better effort to be a better person. It is my choice to be a better person, no one else has the right or the duty but me. All the influences around me cannot make me choose, only I can choose and live with the results of my choice. That is where I am now and the difference in now as opposed to back then is that I live through my principles. I have embraced a right and correct way of rationalization onto action that serves me in not only how I feel about what I think and do but sets an example for others to follow should they so desire. I was worthy of life then, even when I was wrong about some things, because like all of we humans, making mistakes is one way we get to learn. In many ways how we actually learn from those mistakes and devise a rationale for not making mistakes in defining who we are is where we hopefully will end up.
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