I cannot think of one instance in my life where I did stereotype that didn't have a hatred component to it when it was to disparage or denigrate a person or a group of people. In my head I kept a three dimensional visualization that picked and chose certain behaviors of individuals and groups that I ascribed only to them. My little pea picking brain, that I thought was almighty, was in actuality severely limited. Limited by my own fears, cowardice's and my own prejudices. I learned a lot about myself early on in life. I was not the great wise youth I thought I was, instead I was the trembling child that we all are when we don't know what we are doing within a far more complicated world. So due to peer pressure and fear I put up a wall that protected myself as best I could and held onto what ever relief that wall gave me despite the cognitive dissonance I was embracing. Because I did see the absurdity of my way of life where logic could only apply if I found a benefit from it. It is a miracle itself that my own ignorance didn't kill me off. Yet I moved from that adolescent mindset as I grew older and allowed the objectivity of the world to sort through my wall of fear. I realized that we are all the same regardless of which race we came from. We are human beings first and foremost and for me to be afraid of that was found by me to be childish. I stopped stereotyping others since in the first place I didn't want to be stereotyped by others. I also stopped because I knew stereotyping was hateful and an avenue for me to express hate. I may hate, but it isn't because of others, it is a product of me hating myself for not being the courageous noble being I know I am inside me. So given that I have the chance to live as I want to live I just needed to make the sacrifices necessary to allow myself to reflect out the best of me, not my own failure to be the best of me.
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