There is a way to move beyond my own expectations of what I think will be. I have to trust that events will will occur as they should. It is not up to me to force reality to become as only I believe it should be. I seem to want to be the master of how things turn out. Sound familiar? lol. I suppose it is my youthful vigor and passion for a better today and tomorrow that drives me to insert myself where I would be better off staying out of. It is because I don't trust the outcome to be as I think it should be. First, I am not the one who gets to decide what outcomes will be and second, I need to allow my trust in the whirligig of actions and motions, to be my greatest asset. It is as if long ago I came to some conclusion that without my personal interjection of thought or action things would be worse somehow. I am sure I based that on some early experiences of misguided assumptions and have let it grow into an array of mistaken behaviour. I can shape reality just by being clear about how and what I think and do. That's it! Nothing more than just reflecting back my stance or position. I do not need to orchestrate every detail of process in order to calculate a final conclusion. I know I say the words but living the action is quite a different story. It is so true that words are cheap and that actions really do define us. I have come to know my frailties and I work on repairing previous reactions and behaviours. It is a continual process and I am consistent in my awareness now to see how far I still need to go before I can start to be who I want to be. I will endure to improve and shape reality from a point of view that only encompasses my thoughts and actions and not my wilful insertion into manipulating and forcing predetermined outcomes I think should be.
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