(#6062) The survivor instinct is a mighty one

      Some have been through so much trauma and suffering it is a wonder how they survived. Not to me. I know that what doesn't kill me strengthens me. I have had my share of despondency and have always come through it to a better place. That is the nature of life sort of, trial and error a lot of the time. No one lives a perfectly strong life because we are human and experience our quiet moments of weakness. Yet we know that despite the worst of our feelings there will be another moment where that worst subsides and becomes better. Some of us are quite happy to mire in the despondency but way too many of us move forward because we know life is precious.
     Within us a base instinct of survival is built into who we are yet we are a thinking and pondering species so we can confuse our conclusions based upon faulty data. But even faulty data is overcome by the natural understanding that life is a one shot deal. We can always reinvent ourselves if the path we are on becomes too overbearing. I have started over twice in my life with nothing but the clothes on my back. Our survival instinct is powerful as well as our instinct to care and wonder. It is the caring and wondering that fuels my forward momentum into a new life and accelerates my move away from an older life.
     If I needed to start over again I could do it somewhat easily because I have always found it easy to have no expectations. I don't kid myself into thinking I deserve anything. I just need a chance to prove myself a utility and not a burden. It may seem like pride here but it is more like validating my own existence to me. I have no delusions of grandeur nor any desire for privilege. I just want to exist in a way that doesn't harm me or others. Life is not always that adaptable and I must at times make concessions to it but not by bad intent. To live is a mighty thing and keeping my life going is something I owe to the survival instinct.