(#6167) The older we get the harder it is to fight all the time

      I am sitting here with my head in my hands and my eyes closed. Not only do I have busy activities at my home but I also work part time. At 70 years of age I know what it is I am feeling. It is a tiredness that extends beyond just the usual needed sleep. It is a weariness in my soul that has dampened my spirit. Like I have always done, I push past it and keep moving forward, yet it is still holding me back. I always think about older folks who are a lot more vibrant than I who are well into the 80's. Yet it isn't so much a physical tiredness but a mental one. I have so much expectation for myself and those around me that the constant frustration of going backwards too often is slowly diverting my best foot forward.
     Many of us have spent most of our lives fighting for what makes our existence better and at some point we had hoped to settle into our later years with some comfort and ease. But that is not the case for me anyway. I don't enjoy what I should because there is so much still wrong out in front of me. Yet I am no spring chicken any more. I don't have the vigor to battle for what is just with the same hubris. I do still wage effort at solutions but not with the unlimited emotive power of being on the correct side of honor and principle. I truly feel the difference in how I am now and how I was 50 years ago. Where now I had hoped the youth of the world would be picking up the slack of our battle we see disappointment more so than accomplishment.
     The youth are trying but their lack of understanding history and the what will be will be attitude of too many of their parents have contributed to not only a stop to progressive evolvement of our society but a backsliding toward scenarios we have already fought and defeated. So not only am I tired from the battle physically but I am also tired mentally by the inability of we the people to aspire to live noble lives. We allow ourselves to be deceived to the point of losing everything to that deception and then not finding the courage to break from it even when we see the light and it is still easily possible. That is what breaks me down the most, the loss of integrity too many of us are too eager to embrace!