(#6230) My whole life has been about enduring whatever wanted to destroy me

      There were moments when I was younger where I felt full of freedom and full of hope. Those moments are etched into my memory permanently. Where the carefree seconds turned into hours weeks and months. They were short lived however and have been surrounded by the nearly suffocating aspects of reality and responsibility. My mind doesn't just float on some imaginary cloud where inspiration and possibility coexist in harmony anymore. No, now I measure my life by the days within it that are left to me. How can I achieve some forwarded goal I have laid out for myself? This is my template for living now not some dreamy altruistic paradigm of thankfulness.
     I always do hope for the best but my experience is that the worst is usually my companion. So I have had to test the limits of my strength just to keep going on under my own expectations. I have withstood the barrage of hopelessness and despair only to reemerge stronger to cope. I didn't give in to the least of my human nature only to it's existence as not for me. I am a fighter in the sense that nothing is going to take from me that spirit. Not even me. So I endure. I buttress myself with the knowledge that I exist for something greater than what I can think or even know. I understand that this Universe of space and time is otherwise a gift that I will not treat unremarkably.
     As I further move into life I am settled on staying under the commitment to it. I will continue to endure and in that endurance fight with all that is left within me to exemplify my own particular contribution. In my soul I know I am not done making a difference beyond my own existence. I am no great nor very good product of life to behold. I am just me not giving into a lessening others would force many of us to accept. Because I know I am more than a lessening. The brightest and most sacred ideals about life exist within me. I have hope. I care about more than myself. I feel the manifest destiny of humanity and the heritage of humankind in my blood; forging into the future with clarity of purpose, courage, and noble intent!