I once heard in a movie a line about how we live two lives, one we learn with and one we have after that. It is not a perfect saying but it does capture a notion. Although we are still always learning, we do reach a plateau where we realize that what we have learned previously has changed us from who we started out as to who we are now. I like the idea. It shows a maturity from our mistakes to go on in a way that hopes to eliminate future ones. The thoughts and actions of my younger years are not the same as today. I learned from those by-gone days and have since incorporated a process that is not as emotional or extreme through display. Some of my earlier considerations are the total opposite of what I hold as true today. The maturation process has been somewhat messy for me and I suspect for you as well. I do not hold myself in some time-limbo of constantly placing guilt or remorse at the forefront of my every present and future thought. I have forgiven myself and I have allowed myself to let it go. I am not perfect and that is what I am reminded of every time I do let the past stay in the past. My present and future need me to be aware and ready to handle what comes into my life. I am not a god who gets to blame you or me. I am just a fallible human trying to make my way in a world that gave me no rules for living that were either pure or practiced perfectly by anyone. I have survived my youthful journey to get to where I am today. For that I am lucky, not all get to survive their journey to understand life. Now do not think that I understand life but I do know more now then when I started. I am able to start over with the knowledge I have now and let my past go but also know that my past was real and I accept it for what it was. It is just not me anymore and the me now is ready to reflect that to all others.
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