It is still inside my head if I would only concentrate on it and give myself a chance to be apart of it again. My life is ongoing and not already set, or determined to be where it is now. I am just a boy who has moved around in life thinking that my actions have defined who I am. I am not defined by my actions, I am defined by the intent of my actions. It is what I think about myself and others that defines me. It is true that most times a person can be defined by their actions but outside forces often dictate what those actions should be and not necessarily the individual's intent. This is how we can confuse each other. Actions alone are not enough to define me, why I act is the key to me. I have been sitting here this morning allowing my mind's eye to see myself in a place where there is nothing ahead of me but my smile and my hope. I can do this every moment if I would just concentrate on the gift of this life that I still enjoy. Regardless of my circumstance, I am lucky to be alive. This is where I begin to see the original innocence I had when I was a child just learning. I am not owed any expectation or deserve from anyone, including myself. I have this moment and all that comes with it. I am here because this is where I am, not because it is a direct reflection of who I am. Remember, outside forces have their push and pull on us. I am learning to avoid the trappings of "what is" and strive to live in the "what could be". It is in the what could be that I recognize my innocence again. Fleeting images of simple awe and harmony. My destiny lies within the scope of finding my way back to the beginning of me and staying there, albeit a little more wiser, and humbled in the knowledge that my journey of self-discovery has at last come home.
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