I began to see the futility of my rebellion since I couldn't label it and then dissect it with logic and reason. But what I was starting to realize was that it wasn't so much a role in life I was expected to play but being part of a burgeoning society that was slowly inching toward enlightenment and modernization. So although I couldn't advance on the unrest of my rebellion, I could placate it with the idea that we were all stuck and some of us were less able to deal with it. But like all things, time has a way of dictating to us our comprehensions. I grasped to the idea that it isn't so much a physical rebellion I was going through as a mental one.
I moved from being a thorn in the side to a salve for wounds. I made myself practical where I could and improved myself where I was lacking. I began to understand that the type of person I would become was more important than anything I might have imagined as to my purpose in life. My newfound understanding allowed me to make myself reflect who I am. I care about all living and many non living things. It is who I am. I also have a wonder that is far more curious in nature than just simple need. It is a want and a desire that goes to the core of who I am. I must know all I can about the mystery of our existence, our Universe and our past, present and future in it. We are not done evolving as a species and with more of that precious time that we all seem to take for granted, we will get there despite our own inability to make the most of it.