Thursday, July 26, 2012
My cycling friendships (#1273)
At times, it seems that when I form a friendship with someone else that the particular bond that brings us together is so powerful that we will certainly be friends for a lifetime. However, it is only what it seems like. Not that all instances of friendship whither away over time but the vast majority of them do. What seemed monumental at one time becomes nothing more than a vague memory or an afterthought over some time. For me though, the most emotional and consequential times when I have made friends, sticks with me lick glue and if not for the other(s) having forgotten me, I would still be very close with them. It might be that I am sensitive about what it is to being friends and my particular others are not, or it might be that the value of friendship is held in less a high esteem by others than by me. Whatever the diagnosis for bonded friendships faltering, that they do is real and unsettling. Of course what is one to do but to move on but the feeling that a loss has occurred does not move on, it is just compartmentalized. My remedy for maintaining friendships is in finding ways to stay in contact on some kind of regular basis. When I think of someone I haven't seen in a while it is compulsive for me to reach out to them in some little way. When we place value on a "thing", we need to pay attention to it, such it is with friendship. It is all about making the effort. How many times have I heard "it is the thought that counts", and I know it is true. Even if nothing else can be done, just the thought of thinking and acknowledging that thought is important. I speak about this because I am starting to believe that too many people do not have the tools to understand how to keep friendships once they have made them. They do not understand the process of caring in some consistently known way to their friends, that brings life to their relationships in a meaningful way.