I hope this post will be therapeutic for me because talking or writing about my crabbiness out in front of someone else usually alleviates the tension. I have lately been somewhat less relaxed and a little more angry about some things that don't fit my way of doing things. I know that my behavior has changed and is happening and that is why I am admitting it. I can give myriad reasons for justifying some kind of righteous anger if that is what I wanted to do but it isn't. I do admit that life is being a little harder on me right now in some important areas but again, no excuse is validated when I get to choose how I will react. I am human and I will go through times when I am tried in areas that I am vulnerable, nothing new there so why all of a sudden am I more irritable than normal? Somehow I have allowed something to fester in me without addressing it and it is manifesting itself in my less than satisfactory behavior. I need to contemplate and meditate on the recent past and see where the trigger might have transferred from. This is nothing new for me, I know that there are cycles in my life where I need to refresh or reboot my own perspective in order not to become stagnant. I will in some short time figure out what is troubling me and I will deal with it in a mature and sensible way and move on. But for now I am at least aware that I am not on an even keel in my experiencing happiness and believe me getting my comfort zone back as to being a relatively good and happy man, is a high priority. In the meantime I will remain constant and vigilant to keeping my own faults to myself and not let them influence anyone else I come into contact with. There just saying all that has made me smile. :)
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