(#5801) Finally settling back in at my house

      I am finding that my routines are coming back to me the way I had them previously before I moved away earlier this year. If you don't know this yet your home is like a living organism. It requires constant care in ways that change subtly if left unnoticed. I have been back about 6 months and I am just now getting back to a semblance of regular order. My move then remove over a relatively short time has been a bit of an upheaval in that what was before I left has now altered. I was more rigid in my approach to life here and when I got back my perspective had been softened.
     Although a bit altered I am still who I am and the necessities of life continue. Such is the case with living in my home again. When I left my brother John who lived with me was still alive but had been in the care facility when I left. Being back and not having John alive any longer cast a pall over my return that to this day still lives within me. Yet life goes on for those of us who are still here and although sad thoughts are continuing they are slowly diminishing. When I left I could not take my animals with me as there was no place for them where I went and this home here was always their home. When I got back they pretty quickly realized that I wasn't going away again and they fell back into their routines with me.
     The house itself had its quirks and added a few more in my absence. I was as well caught up in my own personal health issues to deal with in my return home. I have since caught up with the quirks of the house and the issues concerning my health. So my out of balance feeling after returning is now more one in tune with a sense of purposeful calm. I feel like my head is above water and I am not treading water to mark time. My routines are naturally returning as the needs of the house continue. I actually feel like I am looking out ahead instead of just waiting for whatever present need crops up. I am no longer playing catch up with many things and maybe now even looking into how my future may develop. I am starting to feel comfortable again.

(#5800) Not letting trump live "rent free" in my head

     This is a saying about freeing oneself from thoughts that are out of our control. Why sit and worry or fret over things that cannot be changed by me. What I need to do instead is adapt to whatever comes so that my sanity and values remain intact. I tried to insulate us from what is about to hit us but I and millions of others failed. So now we must survive with whatever process we can muster to continue on. I don't have to stay and work to change things back to somewhat a civil society but I will because I care about what we humans are to become. I want the best for us not just some semblance of what is best for only a few of us.
     That in a nutshell is the difference in what just happened in the last election. We all lost out on an opportunity to change the whole world for the better. What we got instead will be the whole world changing for the worse. Some will have better lives but the vast majority of us will not. I do not live life just for my own ambitions, I live life for all our ambitions to have an equal footing to begin from. An inclusive successful society is one where happiness is abundant and despair the exception. Sadly that is not the order about to come. Despair will be the rule while happiness the exception. Why do I say that? Because we have elected a man who has no respect for life outside his own skin.
     So many think of trump as some kind of savior on Earth. Well in short order he will begin to crush that concept. His greed and lust for power will be on full display because he is now in a position where he doesn't need to keep lying in order to attain power. He has it and will not stop trying to keep it should he survive the next 4 years. Most of those he convinced to back and vote for him will now be shunted away as what they truly were to him, useful idiots. Those who could not see that trump admires dictators and strives to be one himself will now be able to see it should they choose to lift their cowering heads from below the sand.

(#5799) The next four years are not going to be kind

      It isn't rocket science we are talking about here. It is going to be a wonderful time for the psychopaths who are wealthy. They normally don't feel any remorse for their soul crushing actions and now will feel even less as their actions will increase because of trump. Their opportunities to take from the poor and give to themselves will be so great that they may just wet themselves with greed. Joe Biden was able to reverse a lot of the problems trump created from his first shot at the presidency but now those actions by Biden will be dwarfed by the insanity about to happen in about a month.
     The wrecking of progress for equality and human rights is about to begin and the lust for profit will replace it. If the working middle poor class has thought about how bad it is for them now the next few years are going to be devastating. There won't be a savior for us. However there will be a darkness and suffering. The wealthy are about to wrest control of our nation from our democratic values and turn us into an oligarchy with a tyrant at the head. The concepts of free speech and the right to protest will become increasingly difficult to express. The tyrant trump is sensitive and will not allow dissent against him or his policies. He is a vengeful tyrant and vengeance is his default position.
     As a refresher, I tried to bring back into my consciousness the last time trump was in office and the only real memory of a positive nature was the fact that he didn't win a second term. Now that second term is upon us and I can only assume that as bad as the first term was the second term will be much worse. We will see what damage he does to our future as a democracy but I don't like our chances of surviving. There is one silver lining though. If we can survive until the next midterm election we have a chance of electing enough to Congress to stifle his attempts to run roughshod over our constitution. Even then that is no guarantee because he and his wealthy cohorts are not above going outside the bounds of our constitution to change it.

(#5798) Don't be afraid of enlightenment

     My own journey into enlightenment has been one of a curiosity and caution. Naturally I want to know things but I also am cautious because what I learn may fundamentally change me to something beyond my own acceptability. It appears to me that we each have a somewhat safe harbor we like to reside in that gives us comfort and confidence. I know what that is like and accept that as normal. Yet the progress of enlightenment through knowledge will move forward whether we participate in it or not. So participate I do. What I find challenges me at my core but that does not deter me because I will not let fear dictate any response I have toward enlightenment.
     What I find for myself is acceptance of what others have found for themselves. What I find is acceptance of what I find for myself. There is one thing I have known my whole life and it has never been static, that being me. So as I adapt to enlightenment, I also see where my own initial principles and thoughts have mostly remained intact. I am the modeler of my own destiny and being objective about that is my process. Enlightenment doesn't scare me instead it informs me. I stay current in knowledge, awareness, and understanding because of enlightenment. I embrace enlightenment as my pathway toward not only wisdom but discovery.
     Enlightenment is the paradigm of bold considerations. I do not bury my head in the sand because of thoughts and questions. I rationalize thoughts and evenly debate questions. I do not ignore them because of fear or irrational motives. Enlightenment is the key to our future in a Universe that is starting to share its secrets. To accumulate and acquire advances we must grasp and hold tightly enlightenment and allow it to guide us with a trust that we are its masters and we will use enlightenment to build toward a greater understanding of our human being presence in existence. Hold enlightenment dear and let it fill our minds and souls with its possibilities.

(#5797) Do not compromise with terror

      I see too many who are willing to let the bullies win because they are tired of fighting back against them. What does that say about us? They would rather grovel for whatever is left after the bully takes from us than continue to put push to put the bully in his place. There is no peace to be had when we quit fighting against the evil that would rule us. We have pride in our species right now but only if we keep fighting against those who would turn our pride into cowardice. It will only get harder to reverse a bully victory if we quit now. We have to ask ourselves is living as a cowering individual greater than fighting and possibly dying to keep our dignity and the dignity of our children?
     I know that fear plays a big part in how we react in life and those who have something they do not want to put in jeopardy will struggle to want to lose it. Yet what in life is worth keeping if you find that your principles are gone and you live at the whim of someone else's bidding? The only thing worth keeping is your dignity and the power that represents. If you think living in a world where equality and freedom are no more is going to be joyful and happy then you are not very wise. There is nothing bullies can bring us in life that will keep them from always wanting more from us. We will always lose more and more of ourselves when we let the bullies have their way.
     We are still strong now and would be wise to use our strength to fight while we still can, We have taken a setback in the last month but only a setback if we muster our will back to being ready when the shit truly starts to hitting the fan. Because it will with bullies. They know their best shot now to win for generations is to step on us now real hard while our spirits are down. We cannot let them step on us with impunity. We must make their efforts to annihilate us as difficult as possible so that we can over some short time turn the tables on them. We don't know yet what our strategy will be because we are waiting to see how the bullies will attack us. But we do know it is coming and we had better not fail this next time.

(#5796) Our American society is out of balance

      Far too many of us are living paycheck to paycheck. We have little ability to adjust our budgets to help the needy when we are, it seems, always in need ourselves. That cannot be a sustaining dynamic. For those of us who are not interested in being nothing but capitalists all the time we find our lives have been reduced to a sense of frustration at not being able to live peacefully without the constant pressure to make money. The drive of capitalism is exhausting! Especially when it leaves everyone else out in the cold for not being "all in". Capitalism is just a function to help with bartering. It is necessary to barter as our society sees needs that have to be met when we decide to contract with each other under rules of law.
     However life isn't just about financial drive. Many like myself just want enough to live decently without being extravagant or ostentatious. Simplicity in life allows others and myself an ease to approach what we find useful and purposeful. Gaining monetary fortune is not a value to me. Gaining time to be what I am and like to do is a value to me. Yet, it seems that those who are greedy and lustful for more have made life harder for those of us who just want more of a simplicity of ease. Their rat race world concept has put the rest of us into a bind if we want to survive in their forced reality. Instead of enjoying life we the many must endure it. All to make the wealthy feel better about their illogical concepts that don't include how a society finds its happiness.
     I get the need to produce so that peace and harmony can be defended but when the balance of the one overwhelms the other it is a catastrophe in the making. Work and peace can live together in harmony but not when one is dominating the other. We need work to make our society strong but that strength must not crush the peace within our souls. It would be the same with peace. If peace at all costs were the dynamic then we would find ourselves vulnerable to those who would force peace from us for their own devices. Which is why a balance of both work and peace must cohabitate in our lives. Peace through strength is the ideal and for us to get to that the work must be a fulfilling paradigm that we all understand gives us the peace to live within our hopes and dreams.

(#5795) Living is more than just routine

      Even at my advancing age of 69 I realize that just staying alive is not enough. There is more than safety and security to manage. I need to keep learning and experiencing what is happening because there is nothing after I am not alive anymore. So whatever I can do to entertain or enlighten is my goal. I do have other purposes like being an example of what is positive and good. But that is not enough for what I need to stay engaged with my life. I have to keep my senses attuned to the harmonies of life and my mind surrounded by the as yet unknown. I have made it clear throughout this blog that caring for all life forms and being curious about everything else are the dominant natures of our species.
     Without either care or wonder our species would be nothing of any account. But we are with care and wonder and the difference is amazing. We tend to ourselves with a priority and we learn from what we have in our existence. Not only has our species flourished we have moved beyond our origin. We have stepped upon the Moon and soon will do the same on our neighboring planet Mars. Our curiosity has also allowed us to examine knowledge with logic and wisdom to create methods and treatments to sustain our bodies beyond our own individual ability to heal ourselves. Our care is advancing with the aid of our curiosity.
     Not only have we advanced the care for ourselves we have advanced care for other life forms in this incredible ecosystem we call Earth. We have come to understand the delicate balance of all the paradigms of life that exist all around us with the need for them to remain viable. The interconnectedness has not been lost on us. We humans may not all be on the same page as to a manifest destiny but we have at least a foundational concept of mortality. We will only live once in our human form so actually experiencing life while we have it is fundamental to actually being alive. I need more than just the mundane breathing to live. I need purpose and challenge to fulfill my personal destiny.

(#5794) I can live with myself because I keep making the correct choices

      When I was younger and less disciplined I would always struggle when things did not go my way. Anger and disappointment fueled my rather bad choices more often than not. My childish years extended well into my adulthood. Throwing tantrums of various types was more my modus operandi than thoughtful reflection and a recommitment to another determined approach. During that less than fruitful time I was my own worst enemy. Sabotaging myself because I didn't care to not sabotage myself. A stubborn anger is my recollection and it was feisty.
     I was fortunate in that I began to see the damage of my behavior and I didn't like it. Still though I was unmoved. I get that axiom now about denial, of doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. But back when I was not as keen in my understanding, I didn't get that. There was no great revelation or light bulb moment. I just slowly began to realize that I was getting nowhere and time was moving on. So I finally learned that anger and disappointment were not my friend. They were clues that things were not working. So instead of embracing my anger and disappointment I let them go and tried new approaches that eventually allowed me to move forward in time with more positive satisfaction.
     What dawned on me was to stop taking shortcuts to rush through when taking the time to do things correctly predominately ended with success. As well I learned that it was doing the little things in life that make the bigger outcomes in life bend toward my goals. I just needed to make the correct choices in every aspect of my life. So no shortcuts and doing all things to my best ability has found me with a presence worthy of living. Nothing remarkable here but significant nonetheless. I got off track back when I was young and in a hurry to live. I have found that living will happen whether I hurry or not. So now I choose to do the correct things, correctly, in my life  and enjoy the benefits of my efforts.

(#5793) The failure of putin!

      The powers that be within the kremlin and the oligarchs must be very nervous about now. Not only is the Ukrainian war going badly for them but their candidate trump is not cozying up to putin like many thought he would. It seems that trump is riding high on his victory and is in no hurry to remain putin's lap dog. Another factor is the ousting of the ally to putin the criminal assad who just lost Syria to anti-putin rebels. If putin were to be boasting about how good he is for the Russian people he would be doing it with some real bravado. What in reality is happening is that old man putin is being left behind with his dream of world domination.
     The fight in Ukraine is not going as he thought it would. Instead the fight inside Ukraine is spilling out into Russia itself. With Ukraine controlling a not insignificant area within Russia but are also attacking Russian command and troop centers along with energy and military infrastructure depots inside Russia. What was supposed to be a 3 day to 2 week invasion is now about to hit the 3 year mark in February with more than 750,000 dead Russian soldiers. This was not what putin sold to his handlers nor is it something they would have agreed to with foresight. Not only are Russian resources being depleted but sanctions on their commerce is wreaking havoc on their economy.
     The wealthy in Russia are being used and spent at this juncture and are hard pressed to see what is in it for them by continuing to support the false putin narrative. That putin promised them the resource rich nation of Ukraine to rape and pillage is not unfolding. Instead an alliance between Democratic European nations is burgeoning. Russia is dwindling and they must know that putin despite his best efforts to use brute force cannot continue much longer. I would never be surprised to see a coup in Russia over this galactic failure of putin and for me it is just a matter of how much more the kremlin and the oligarchs are willing to stomach before they pull the plug on putin.

(#5792) Stand by values, or lay down and quit!

      The time for voting for personalities was never here. Yet it seems that too many believe it was last month. What values do the new president elect instill as important? Segregation, emigration, inequality, unfairness and injustice. Tell me and take your time, am I wrong here? He wants to separate us on so many levels that it is difficult to find a paradigm where he doesn't except maybe in donating to his personal coffers. He wants the hard working migrant community who has been coming north of the border for centuries to work the fields and provide food, shelter, and clothing to our society and their families to return south and never again come across our borders.
     He wants the men of the America and let me be more specific, the white men of our country, to have greater opportunities and rights than the other men who are not white. He wants the women, and he means all women, to have fewer rights than men. His idea of a woman is not one of equality but of servitude to men. Women, to the president elect, are more aligned with property and commerce than equal partners in life. He wants to be like a king, who may break any law he wishes while not allowing others the same privilege he demands for himself. If justice does exist in his reality it is only for him under his definition. He is devoid of truths and facts when they aim at his pride and behavior.
     My values and the lack thereof within trump are two polar concepts. When dignity and respect are present trump is nowhere to be found. When injustice and inequality is present trump is standing atop the wreckage of that pile. Where humility and honor are flowing like the breeze on a summer's day, trump is shaking his fist in the dark cursing the very concept of any idol greater than he. What compassion and curiosity exist in our world is degraded and spat upon by trump as foolish and irrelevant. My values started out from wanting to be a hero type; trump values came from stealing into his father's wallet and not getting caught.

(#5791) Wisdom comes from enlightenment, not brute force!

      All of my life I have admired wisdom when I have encountered it. I may not have always liked the conclusion of wisdom but I at least respected it's veracity. Mostly though I have liked wisdom because it gave a conclusion to problems that were perplexing to my mind anyway. So most all of my life I have strived to reach that plateau where wisdom starts to form in my own mind. For me it was working to understand philosophy. The records of our western civilization's greatest philosophers have been available and easy enough to attain. One book I would recommend is by Bertrand Russell-The History of Western Civilization. In his compilation there are many who can give us insights into what life should be all about.
     In the title of this blog I say that enlightenment is the path forward toward wisdom and doing no harm are the bricks that pave that path. I also say in the title of this blog that brute force is not how we get to wisdom. We cannot force wisdom to grow from the bed of pain and suffering. Wisdom by my account is a complexity that is maneuvered into a simplicity. Taking all the various factors into account and finding one simple solution for all of them is a perfect example of how wisdom is derived. As another example think of it this way. Wisdom is the bigger picture from all the little pictures we have. An overview that coincides with the better and best of who we are.
     At this juncture I would like to make a point about fear. Often times fear has a way of taking our minds from logic and supplanting it with an illusion of safety. Our decision has left us with hope instead of normalcy. When we disregard logic and common sense for an illusion that makes us feel safer we are actually less safe than we would have been. Much like appeasement to aggression will always end with worse subjugation and harm. Life is this simple if you would condone my indulgence. We have to fight for peace to have peace otherwise there will never be peace. The wisdom it takes to know that strength guarantees peace is what I am hoping will come from this posting.

(#5790) I am on a journey to find my serenity

      The molecules of my mind and body have been interrupted and stirred to a chaos of assemblance. The uneasiness is tentatively unsettling. So to reclaim the ease at which I had before the election I am trying to dig deep into my reality so as to find a safe harbor so to speak to cling on to. It isn't easy for me since I had put all my chips in on the outcome of the election as I suspected the majority of us who believe in democratic values would do. My suspicion was inaccurate obviously and now I am left with pretty much a blank slate of serenity to fall back on. My disappointment is beyond comprehensible since I am of the hero type who sees all of us as in need of equality and happiness, not just some of us!
     So after picking myself up from the heavy blow the election applied to my full being I have been in an utter state of numbness. Moving about with little thought to the motion of it. I have responsibilities to perform and dutifully I served their demands. Yet my life has no real connection to them other than their importance in the daily scheme of things. What I seek now is the fuel my soul once burned brightly from. I had thought we were all together in the fire of my flame with no extinguishing logical. Yet I am in the dark now looking to see the way forward. My other senses keep me from harm but keeping from harm is not my purpose in life. Having a vision of boldness and truth is my purpose and now finding that paradigm again with a true conviction for it is my what seems like impossible burden.
     Yet, given the uphill climb, of which I am no stranger, I suspect I will find my way back to the thrust of boldness and truth. Being the sharp end of the stick may not be in my future but being a sturdy part of the stick is my resolve. It has only been a month since the dreaded election but I am already sensing a lessening of the metaphorical gut punch effect. The realization that I am trying to regain my serenity is a clue that I am now recovering. The nearly mortal mental and physical blow has been endured and instead of still feeling in critical need of care I am charting courses for my recovery into a form that is both healthy and productive. I am now on my journey to serenity and it is empowering.

(#5789) Well over three quarter of a million dead Russian soldiers in Ukraine.

     Milestones are part of how we see the reality in front of us. With 3/4 million dead Russian young men soldiers from the invasion of Ukraine, a consideration is due. The price for taking the land of others is very high in this case. A whole generation of young men of Russian affiliation are no more. With a population near 150 million overall in Russia 3/4 million doesn't seem like a lot in the big picture that putin is obviously in tunnel vision with. Yet these 3/4 million are the young men that would have started families and supplied many millions more to the population of Russia.
     Their loss is what is now going to start the Russian population to decrease over the next several years. Starting with the dead who are no longer around but also their now impossible future offspring. Meanwhile many more than a 1000 Russian young men are dying everyday in Ukraine with little to no gain to show for it. All because a tyrant named putin cannot stop his blood lust to control the world through death and destruction. To me there has always been a simpler solution to this and that has been for the Russian mothers and fathers of their now dead children to confront and stop putin. Their grief must go somewhere so why not aim it as resolve at putin and make him stop or bravely try.
     Russia has spent the last almost 3 years destroying their own military in a vain attempt to capture Ukraine. They cannot conquer it as long as Ukraine refuses to surrender. Which is not going to happen. Ukraine has made it clear that there will be no capitulation to putin. So now we wait for the next milestone to hit which at this rate will be in the summer of 2025, when dead Russian soldiers in Ukraine will reach one million. With Assad falling in Syria, a putin ally, and the death toll continuously climbing the end time for putin may well happen before many more months. The barbarian putin and his disregard for Russian life when it comes to his own bloodlust may finally be catching up to him.

(#5788) Keep your political sensitivities close to your vest

      In a new era of uncertainty when it comes to our privacy being our own it is best for now to be careful in how you and I express ourselves when not actually needed. A reserve for now until we get the lay of the land with the new trump cabal. We know trump is into retribution because he seems to like fealty to himself and anyone not bending their knee to him are his mortal enemy. Well we are mostly not his mortal enemies but certainly many of us do not like his form of rule when it involves destroying our American democracy. His arrogance and inability to comprehend outside his own limited experiences is intolerable and will never get my acceptance.
     So being still for now on posts that could be construed as controversial by the broken mind of trump is wise. What I do is stay informed but not necessarily in a publicly acknowledged way. I do think some of our retrenchment is unnecessary but for now understandable. Many of us are now into a survival mode with an eye to rebuilding our individual  personal defenses for a future that has a greater chance of success. We are withdrawing from our personal and public advocacies for democratic values, at least in our rhetoric and volume. We are not losing our foundation but we are not making it obvious until we are sure retaliation isn't a willy nilly jackboot reality.
     My obstruction of tyrannical advancement is not in question and if need be will be activated regardless of personal security issues. It is just defensive positioning that gives us the best chance to have a strategy for our coming near future. A good defensive strategy is a start for us to then move to more offensive actions of advocacy for democracy. Silence as a strategy now for a chance to be loud when being loud is the best way forward. I am not quitting anything here but I am reserving what I think will be my best contribution to the safety and security of equal human rights to all people regardless of race or gender.

(#5787) The next midterms

      In about 700 days we will all find out if trump has succeeded in destroying our democracy or not. If we mount enough resistance to his ambitions of becoming a king, by November 2026, we will have a chance to further stop him from doing any more harm before the next election should we be so fortunate to have. As of last months humiliating defeat in the election we the American people are not exactly innocent in our self determination to undermine ourselves. But we do need to find a way to change that when it becomes painfully clear our choice is about to become a nightmare.
     Our ignorance is not an excuse. Each and every one of us has the ability to think for themself and act accordingly. That too many of us are not exercising that ability is no one else's fault. Yet an opportunity will be available if our collective consciousness finds a way to distinguish fact from fiction. I know we Americans have been a huge disappointment to the world recently but still there is hope for that ignominy to reverse itself. However we have made this task much more difficult by electing someone who has not the ability to care for others as much as he cares for himself. Yet, as hopeless it may seem at this moment we have a route to follow that will bring us back from the brink.
     We cannot change who sits in the White House but we can reshape the majorities that republicans now hold in Congress. By recapturing both the Senate and House we will have a buttress against the desires of trump that supersede constitutional restraints. How can we do this? It will be a monumental lift of will by each and every individual who discovers that the world will change from freedom and liberty to servitude and bondage without our democracy. If things hold from the last election we will not be able to count on the major media outlets. We will have to rely mostly on grassroots efforts that include marching in the streets and other civil activities that join us to our democracy saving cause.

(#5786) Our flourishing as a species is on hold, for now...

      It has been nearly a month since we found out that our world is less intellectual than we had thought. We who are not afraid of existence seem to be outnumbered in the moment by those who are. I must admit that it caught me by surprise that so many of us are not worthy of being bold leaders. Instead we are more akin to being meek followers. Our understanding of existence is not up to speed with what knowledge we have gathered that is as close to factual as possible. However logic and common sense work to inform us the process of recognition is not in abundance. A sad report indeed.
     I know a majority of us learn when under great stress. When our backs are against the wall is when we find our attention to understanding is at its greatest opportunity. Unfortunately being between a rock and a hard place is not enough for the majority of us to learn important principles and truths as a constant. Too many of us cannot utilize learning anything other than our own desires despite the good that comes from a collective consideration. We as the human being species don't seem to put value on other human being lives unless it is some value of trade or ownership. It was very hard for me to say that about my species but the evidence of it cannot be denied.
     Instead of we humans treating each other as amazing individuals, we seem to be stuck in the old ways of treating each other as commerce. It is indicative to our overall evolution to this point in time. Enlightened thinking is not being a genius or being brilliant. It is just recognizing that we are all amazing and everything that governs our all being amazing should reflect that. Our species is stuck in a way of thinking that to now prohibits us from focusing our efforts on creating a society that reflects our amazingness to instead remain in a society that uses us unequally and without respect. A change must come if we humans are to thrive, otherwise the alternative will fester instead of flourish.

(#5785) America is a whipped country

      I can only surmise that we have gotten to the point in our evolution where we have lost our will to do the better and best with our lives. Of course I am speaking collectively not each and every one of us individually. Yet too many have either given up because they are afraid or because they have too many dirty little secrets to overcome and shy away from attention. Either way there is little hope for those who find themselves whimpering instead of fighting. I get it. If one is too tired to fight anymore that is natural although not advisable because when we stop fighting no matter how tired we are the victor will not be us.
     If because our shame for who we let ourselves become is too high a hurdle for us to overcome then it may be true we are not worthy. Yet I disagree with that. We live life to figure it out and how we learn is not how we live afterwards. I am no god person who only has a chance because of some forgiveness option. I am just a human being who knows he makes mistakes but regardless improves from those mistakes to advance to a better existence. My journey has been one wrought with remorse and guilt but those things do not define me. The better and best of who I am does and that is how I move past my own frailties and absurdities.
     How I am now is because I didn't quit on myself because I failed at being a perfect human being. I am who I am because I learned my lessons from failure and improved to a better person. This is real easy to understand here folks. Just because we could not achieve before does not mean we cannot change how we approach another way to succeed. My life is a testament to that. My heart has been pure since my innocence yet it got sidetracked by misinformation and callous disregard for others. I learned my approach was wrong and set out to forge a new approach where we all share in the bounty of life. We all deserve a chance to change who we are and move past our own guilt and apathy. Begin again today with a new resolve to succeed in life despite our own self reflected personal inadequacies.

(#5784) My hope is our better natures prevail

      I know this much. Our lives together were going to be so much better had not so many fallen for the bullshit of trump. Yet that they fell for it does tell me that we as a society are not ready for leadership in the world. Our moment has been left behind as we were not wise enough to grasp it. Instead our future is laden with pitfalls and ambushes that will not only diminish our current upward trajectory but will put us on a pathway heading to collapse. Other nations of intellectual appreciation will have to endure the leadership shouldering we here in America found ourselves incapable of handling.
     There are a handful of regrets I can point to in my lifetime that were self inflicted wounds but this one was as unnecessary as any, much like in 2016. I had hoped that the momentum built up to advance society for all Americans would have been more than enough reason to continue but instead we find ourselves facing down the barrel of a sick individual who does not believe in equality or the sanctity of life. His future could have been one of togetherness but his diseased mind cannot fathom that concept. He has grown to be such an ogre of soul and spirit. Even though he has had many collaborators he is not the end all persona he would like to think he is which gives all of us some little hope.
     What we know of the mental ineptitude of trump is that it is not contagious. Of course he does attract like minded individuals who have a similarly deranged psychopathy, but certainly not as forlornly miserable as trump's. I am seeing even some in his inner circle have more common sense and dignity, albeit only slightly more than he. Which when it comes to destroying our democracy may hinder them in their lust for their share of devilishness. Our nation has not been a smoldering cauldron of traitors nor majority insurrectionists. The next 2 years will be our truth and what we do and/or are able to do will likely hinge on some crumb of decency from those trump installs to intentionally darken our future.

(#5783) Wrist update

      My right wrist took a bit of a beating yesterday at work but overall it wasn't too bad an experience. I think fortunately though I get the next two days off to rest again before starting back to work. I didn't do anything ridiculous to aggravate my surgery but the accumulative effect most likely is causing a bit of discomfort. I slept well last night and my wrist feels much better this morning. It has only been 5 days since surgery but I cannot adhere to the best advice from the surgeon because like most people I cannot take time off from my life. So I have to calculate the best way forward to get close to the medical advice I have been given.
     In nine days I will get the the bandages removed and the stitches out. I will still be very limited in what I can do but at least I should be past the stage where the surgery cuts could become infected. My strength returning in my right arm as far as normal function will take several months but at least I will be on the road to that goal. Just how quickly I may achieve my normal strength is incumbent upon me being careful yet unrestrained. I will push the limits of what is possible while paying keen attention to how that effect will inform me. Pain is my friend in this case but too much is not. I have all the recommendations I need to exercise and stretch my wrist repair and with that I am satisfied I can heal up quickly.
     We will see how it goes and that will be informative since I will do the other wrist in very short order. Learn from the right wrist and apply that lesson to the left wrist. All I know is that both wrists are going to go through a transformation to help them improve. It will be a few months but time has a way of moving along even when it seems like it is dragging. Soon I will be able to use my hands the way I have always used them up until this last little bit of time. When I get the bandages off in 9 days I will send a picture out on my social media platform of what before and after actually look like.

(#5782) Understanding the hate we use to justify ourselves

      I see the anger coming from many who do not know why they hate other than it sounds like the right thing for them to do. They are told something is bad for them and they take that being told at face value. Without knowing the why of it. This is why knowledge is so important! If you understand the meaning and/or the purpose of a thing you may then make up your own mind based upon premises that support your conclusion. What we have too much of today is too many who let others think for them because they don't want to take the time to think for themselves. A very sad fact when you consider that none of us is worthy of being everyone else's thinker.
     When we allow our individual selves to know what is objectively correct we then start to master our own lives. We become the gauge we use to understand what we want out of life not someone else who will always have another agenda for giving us our opinion to defend. Everyone must realize that there are no good deeds being done out there where we abdicate our rights to someone else and expect an equally good value in return. We all are responsible for how we learn and decide. Not to give that choice to someone else who has their own ulterior agenda. The reason I am for and/or against policies is because I have studied them to see if they fit within the principles of democracy. If so then yes, if not then no!
     I am only me. Nothing more which is why I write this daily blog. So that I can define who I am in real time in a public way. I am not trying to hide any motive for what I do and/or am. I just look at things I either know or that I need to learn and then look to see if democracy is being upheld by whatever decision I come to make. There is no emotion to my decisions as to a default. Logic and common sense will guide my thinking so emotionally hating or loving something that causes intentional harm to someone else will not occur in the simple formula of doing no harm I use to uphold democracy. Would I harm myself for being true to who I am and what I hold dear like our democracy? No. Will I do the same to anyone else? Again, no!

(#5781) The allegory of the cave is our new reality

      In Plato's book the "Republic" He devotes a chapter to the discussion of people living in a society where they don't question their surroundings but instead just accept them. It is like curiosity is not part of their culture. Well except for one person in Plato's cave allegory. The person finds their way out of the cave and discovers the real world outside where a panoramic view is vastly more than lighted walls in a cave. An enlightenment of discovery which to me is like a portal opening up within our existence in reality. Many fear this discovery and would rather stay safe within the confines of a cave accepting less while avoiding more. Which to me is contrary to being alive as an amazing individual within our human species.
     Contrary or not here we are and no mount of assuaging will change that reality. I was aghast to see the vote totals from our last election and can now assume that the reason for the vote totals is similar to the problem Plato describes in his cave allegory, People do not want to be curious about our existence they just want to survive in it the best they can without doing much to make it better. For them acceptance is far superior to challenging. A sort of resolve to abdicate courage for safety. Which to me undercuts the natural instinct of our species. So I don't expect this turn from who we are to be permanent but how long it lasts is in question.
     To say I am disappointed by this result in our evolution is an understatement. I am embarrassed and humiliated by our collective response to opportunities to find the answers to the great questions of why. I am not one to sit in the comfort of imaginary states when the real states are begging for my attention. I am bold and always will be. Not to do nothing but to do something beyond my own self. For our species to lose sight of our manifest destiny to move beyond our limited understandings is a failure of realism. How we correct that failure and find the inspiration to put us back on our path is the solution I am searching for to reintroduce. Making messes on Earth is a waste of time when moving out into the unknown is awaiting us to discover!

(#5780) Democrats are poised to win 215 House seats

      With the 45th congressional district race here in California being called for democrat Derek Tran, The last remaining one to be called is California's 13th congressional district. Where democrat Adam Gray is currently slightly ahead by nearly 200 votes. With litle counting left to do the most likely scenario is that Gray will win the 13th and become democrats 215 House seat. The majority party requires 218 seats to have a slim one seat lead and be able to control the House. There are 3 seats held by republicans that are not filled due to resignations to join the incoming administration. Those 3 special elections will take place months from now. So republicans only have 217 seats at the moment.
     The republicans, to pass legislation in the House for the new administration, can only have one defection from their ranks if no democrat joins in voting for their legislation. If two republicans refuse to join them under the same circumstance, then their legislation will fail. Another very unlikely scenario is if the 3 outstanding congressional districts each elect a democrat, then the House would revert back to democratic party control. All of this to say that there is no easy way forward with the House almost split evenly for much of any substantive or painfully detrimental legislation to become law. Which in the era of trump is a good thing.
     If however the republican party holds onto their 3 special election seats they will then have 220 seats and could lose two overall votes in their ranks and still pass legislation regardless if every democrat votes against whatever legislation is being offered. Still, whether losing 2 or 3 votes to deny republican legislation, overall is still a razor thin margin that requires skilled political gamesmanship to navigate. The next two years are going to be momentous in how our government operates and how it survives the threats to democracy trump has voiced. Winning that 215th seat if the trend remains is critical to keeping the republicans off balance in their effort to burn down the working middle poor class.

(#5779) Focusing on the things that make me thankful

      I had hoped that I would be much more thankful but it seems that is not happening for many of us. So instead I am being thankful for some of my family that are actually caring honest people with a sense of common good. I am thankful for democrats who in the past got us health care when there was none to be had. I spent the first half of my life with no health care which seems like an impossibility in today's society. I am thankful for social security that provides for me in my older age. I still have to work to make ends meet but the social security is the foundation upon which I build my reality. I am thankful that our society allows us to continue educating ourselves so that our perspectives can widen and deepen.
     I am thankful for my little animals that I get to have in my life. They never leave me feeling left out or unimportant. I am one who has not enjoyed his own personal family for whatever reason but my life has been one of adventure and discovery and that has been fulfilling to me. I am thankful for the part time work I get to perform and all the positive influences I may get to pass along when they are needed. I am thankful for this blog site for giving me a forum to express myself when no other option existed. I am thankful for the friends I have been fortunate to meet and keep. I am thankful for all my memories of those who are no longer with me.
     I am thankful that my mind is still soaking up information albeit not like my formative years but still absorbing anyway. I am thankful that my attitude is one of hope and optimism. I am thankful that I do like who I am despite my many faults because when I do make mistakes I admit and correct them. I am thankful that I can see the good in people without having to have them prove it. I am thankful that my smile is still my best attribute. I am thankful that I know that the best of who we are as human beings, sometimes in the face of opposing evidence, is still our manifest destiny. I guess I am thankful mostly for the hope and beauty life still brings into my life.

(#5778) All set for surgery appointment this morning

      All the tasks are done and the instructions have been followed. It is time to leave for the surgery center for my minor carpal tunnel surgery. It should be an assembly line procedure where I go in and then shortly thereafter am released to go home. I was told I could actually drive myself there and back if I wanted to do that. I had already asked my nephew Casey last week if he would like to shuttle me back and forth and he said sure. I told him what they told me later about driving myself but he said no, he would like to spend time with me doing this. I am glad for Casey he has been a wonderful family member in a group of not so many.
     I expect to be leaving in about 30 minutes so all that is waiting to be done is for me show up there and check in. I am not looking forward to the restricted usage of my right hand for the next several weeks but there is no getting around it. I am anxious a bit about how I will be able to type tomorrow which is why I am in a hurry to get this post done before I leave. At least by tomorrow I will have had an overnight to begin healing. The rest of my daily chores I will have to figure out as I am set in my movements and this changeup is going to be a curious adventure. I will get through it but I know it won't be easy. I go back to work on Sunday so 4 days rest from the surgery should give me some flexibility to accomplish my work tasks.
     I really do look forward to being able to use my right hand without pain and restrictions. Having a healthier right wrist is going to be exciting and for all those years I took for granted my utility I am now humbled that I may get another shot of having most of that dexterity back. The left hand wrist should be scheduled in the first or second week of January so that is another positive thought to think about. My health at this age is so much more a priority than it was when I was so strong and healthy. If I had known what this was going to feel like at this age I surely would have taken better care than I did. Regardless though, in a little bit of time, the wrist will be operated on and then begin to heal directly after. Here is to success this morning.
 

(#5777) I am almost to the finish line

      About two weeks ago I saw that the next two weeks were going to be busy for me. Well I am one day away now from that busyness concluding and it is satisfying that I have upheld my end. Today I work my last shift and then tomorrow I go in for surgery. I have done all I can do to prepare for it and that is an accomplishment. On Thursday I will be with family taking it as easy as possible. Then Friday and Saturday back at home resting for my work shift on Sunday. Then no work until Wednesday. So after today's shift and tomorrow's surgery I will be well situated to do little but rest.
     My work is part time but I have been pushing for any extra hours in order to handle the bill of my property taxes. That part is now done so after today I can focus on the surgery on my right wrist. I am prepared for that as well as I know as a right handed person some things for a few weeks will be tougher to accomplish than in normal situations. The first week after the surgery has been laid out by me for as minimal usage of my wrist as necessary. Which should give me a bit more usage the next week. Then the stitches come out. Slowly but surely I will work myself back into a more regular form and then within the next two months I will repeat the surgery process on my left wrist.
     For now though getting to the threshold of this latest block of time has been good. I like that I plan things as best I can with little to no expectation. I just do my normal things and let time take care of the rest. When I get to an end time like now I look up and see that things have gone to plan well enough. So with no big surprises today and tomorrow, I will have gotten what I need in the most prioritized areas of my life. I don't know how much more time I have left in existence but at least I want to increase the ease of what is possible as I go forward. Relieving painful pressures off my wrists and getting back to having a firm grip on things is positive and as well a metaphor for the rest of the troubles in my and our lives.

(#5776) Almost forgot to post today

      It is after 7 pm here and I hadn't posted yet today. Very odd situation for me. Anyway I somehow lost my home page on my phone and spent the entire early morning setting up a new home page, barely. Enough so that I was able to work without being at a disadvantage. I had several work related apps on my phone and the only one I was able to salvage was luckily my workday app which lets me check in and out of work. The other apps were gone. Well I got two of them back later in the day but couldn't use them effectively until I got home after work and consolidated them into a format I could access. Pure luck in case any of you think I know what I am doing in the tech world.
     I am ready though for tomorrow with full access to all my Internet tools. But forgetting about not blogging is the real eye opener for me. I know I have been down since the election as it were but I didn't think I was ready to stop blogging everyday out of some kind of depressive state. I know I still have a fire to fight against the trump reality but surely it is a tempered fight because I am so exhausted. I put everything I had in my soul into believing our nation is/was ready to do great things for all of humanity and to have that crushed out of me is/was devastating. I feel sometimes like a shell of the man I was just several weeks ago.
     Even being a shell of a man though is a lot of man left. I just need to build back up and refortify my resolve. Forgetting to write my daily blog though is a sign that I have a lot of work to do. I am also getting ready for carpal tunnel surgery on Wednesday and I suspect that the rest I will need to give to my wrist will hamper typing. I will keep trying though to get my thoughts down in this blog as best I can and that right there tells me that I am not done fighting, Stopping the daily blog could have been excused with a compromised wrist but I won't let that stop me. It seems forgetting isn't enough to stop me either.

(#5775) My hope is we survive trump

      I am not sure of anything anymore. Not that I have ever been absolutely sure of anything. But even more now I am just as in the dark about our future today than ever before. At least in the past I was optimistic about our society sticking with our foundational principles of equality and freedom as a rule but not anymore. Now it is a hope. It seems there are other more important principles than equality and freedom that are a priority but for the life of me I cannot tell you what they are. Even those who voted against equality and freedom cannot tell us what they envision as principles greater than these. I can suspect what these principles of theirs are but I prefer to let them tell us.
     By being mostly silent about what will happen going forward is my way of those who wanted this to learn themselves what they didn't know. I cannot teach them to be good human beings but maybe trump can teach them what bad human beings act like. I will try to guide but I will be silent for the most part. I have spent many decades of my life advocating for the principles of democracy. Even in these many daily blog post of more than 15 years there are records of me doing so. But now I will just keep to myself more than usual because I don't know how to reach out to those who have not listened to reason in the past. That will have to fall to others who use different methods than my failed ones.
     If we do survive the trump debacle to our democracy we should count ourselves lucky. Because we have set ourselves up for a defeat to our democracy our history has never recorded before. The internal forces that make up republican politics are going to have to find a way to help the rest of us who are not going to stop fighting to preserve our 248 year heritage. If enough in the republican party can join forces with us then we have a chance to stop trump from dismantling our democracy so he can fulfill his dream of ruling over America and establishing a tyranny for all future generations to endure. If not then our chances remain slim. I know that no one can know the future but we can get a sense of things from now. I hope for the better within our democracy to help save it.

(#5774) What hellscape world do you allow yourself to live in?

     If you won't stand up for what is good for all then you cannot complain about the hellscape that you let happen. The word no one wants to hear is cowardice. But in so many cases it is exactly the word that defines too many of our actions/non actions. What we want for ourselves should be what we want for everyone. Fighting for that principle is what makes us heroes. But it seems being a hero is not enough incentive to do the correct thing. I cannot tell you the depth of my sadness that we Americans had such an easy choice to make to fulfill so many of our hopes and dreams for all of us and instead choose to make life harder for too many of us. To me it is incomprehensible.
     We all have a choice to be good decent human beings without our prejudices dominating us. But we are our own worst enemies. Too many of us do not allow ourselves to be educated enough to be thoughtful about what good could happen if we just allowed the best of who we are as human beings caring and curious, to be our number one concern. Instead we want what is not as good for all of us so that we individually feel safer as if it were an all or nothing option. So cowardice prevails and heroic deeds are scoffed at as foolish. Well what is foolish is living as a hollow person instead of as a fulfilled one. I know my emotions dominate my life and for me to live as a coward is akin to not living at all. For me to live as a hero at minimum justifies what good I know resides in me.
     To spend a life hiding from our fears is not living, it is a strategy to avoid fighting for what is the best we humans might do. I am ashamed to say that too many of my fellow American citizens are cowards in their approach to living their lives and forming the society I reside in. They see their own lives as more important than the lives of the rest of us. I and many like me see that protecting all lives is actually protecting our own. So if protecting your life is your number one goal then hiding and join the rest of us and help protect all life. It is the noble and heroic thing to do and will actually make you feel like you deserve the life you are living.

(#5773) Assiduously pressing on!

      I and others are still smarting from the dumbfoundedness of the American citizenry. Yet as the pain of the election results become less acute we behind the force enlightenment persevere. We are not a collection of ragtag individuals and groups that fear intelligence more than we embrace it. We who are the tip of the spear of our own species' evolution will not falter or stop in our quest to improve and expand the human condition beyond the the dark ages of our own past. We see the future with hope and pride so we must go to it! Our fellow citizenry cannot find it within themselves to join us so their attitude is to remain in some kind of status quo limbo.
     Unfortunately, that remaining keeps the rest of us back there with them. So a new way forward is needed. A strategy that beckons even those entrenched in the ways of the past. Is it too late to do it through democracy? We shall find out but we had a rare chance this last election to make our existence and the world at large a much happier place but we instead chose chaos. What will come from the republican control of our society is not encouraging at all. Divisions and repressions are coming and how they affect us is more likely devastating and unsettling. The past belongs in the past, so going back to what was then but cannot work now is a fool's quest.
     Much like denial, the past cannot change. We need to continue to evolve whether that word evolution is popular or not. It is a fact, not a choice! Over generations of life we have seen nations come and go due to choices they themselves had made. Will America, after 248 years of a constitution based upon democratic principles, follow the same path as those other now nonexistent nations? Will we survive our diminution because we gave away our rights to think for ourselves? Being fooled by a conman is nothing new in societies around the world but my own ignorance precluded it happening here. I was absolutely wrong even though I fought against it. Now we who are left to keep up the fight must find a new reserve of resolve to employ in every second we are able going forward.

(#5772) The existential threat to Democracy is here, how will we handle it?

      We now know our worst political nightmare is real and what we will be up against for at least the next four years. I say at least because trump didn't hide his desire to be president for the rest of his life. Even letting it out that his supporters wouldn't need to vote again. If that doesn't foretell him wanting his own dictatorship of America like those he admires like Russia's putin, I don't know what is. He is now assembling a ridiculous cabinet for departments in our government that also foretell those agencies being at risk of elimination. Our society has been based upon the will of the people but now it will be on the will of trump.
     How, those of us who fought so hard to keep trump from getting back into the presidency, we react and defend our democracy will be determinative for the future of democracy. How we, who are not tyrannical supporters, are able to thwart the worst of what trump will try to do to give America the stain of fascism over patriotism to democracy is our task. I do not know how this will work out in real time but I do know that every act we do must be calculated with the ideal that our democracy is greater than any alternative. I know sacrifices will have to be made and I am willing to sacrifice for the sake of our heritage. Those who do not know yet what they have allowed to happen will soon find out and hopefully they too will realize that their mistake must be corrected.
     We Americans have given the reins of power to an absolute bully with sociopathic tendencies. We are in for a hard fight that would have been so much easier had we voted for Harris instead. But now we must do much more to preserve the ideals of democracy. There is no game plan per se at the moment but most of us already know that nothing trump does can be given to him with ease. We must make him work hard for his plan of pain and suffering for the working middle poor class. In two years we will be at the midterms and by then the mood around his duped followers will have changed. They will by then have realized that the claims we democrats made about trump undercutting our democracy are true. Then we will be able to start a political overwhelming of his desires to circumvent our 2028 presidential elections.

(#5771) Very busy next 2 weeks

      I am in one of those intervals of time where my ability to do nothing is severely hampered. I am at the age, 69 now, where the idea of having nothing to do at home but my chores is my favorite pastime. Yet for the next couple of weeks, starting this morning, that will be on hold. I do go in today for work as well as tomorrow. Then the next day appointment for eyewear. Saturday is going to be interesting as the atmospheric storm that is starting here in about 2 hours will begin to relent for a short period and allow me to get outside and assess my work outside.
     Then comes Sunday. I work on Sunday so that day is busy. What would normally be two days off for me on Monday and Tuesday will become temporary work days. The reason is that my normal work days of Wednesday and Thursday cannot be worked so I switched my schedule for this week. After working on Monday and Tuesday I will on Wednesday have Carpal Tunnel surgery on my right wrist. Hopefully that will have no pitfalls and I will be able to go home after the surgery. Of course the following day is Thanksgiving and I am slated to be with family at my niece's home. Which should be interesting since I don't know yet what limitations I will have given the surgery from the day before.
     I do plan to go to work after resting my wrist for the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving and then Sunday resume my work. That is my plan anyway and if it holds to what I think I can do I will have done quite a bit in a short period of time. I am not in the best of health at the moment working through some other physical challenges but I do believe I can make this work and then repeat it with my left wrist in less than two months. Anyway I do look forward to getting back to my otherwise busy schedule of doing nothing in short order. I say doing nothing but what I really mean is I get to do what I would like to do instead of what I have to do.

(#5770) Sydnie Christmas inspires me

     I first heard this video of Sydnie Christmas, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqb6pPYQm1Y&t=760s about a month ago and it did something for me that I will try to explain in this blog post. I have been around music since I was just a young boy. My stepfather had his own country and western band that he performed full time for nearly a decade and a half. I wasn't into country music like I was rock and roll and Motown but being able to listen to the full gamut of popular music at that time helped me to appreciate special songs and outstanding performers. I am far down the road from those early days so hearing performances that actually touch my soul are few and far between.
     Enter Sydnie Christmas. I just happened to scroll past the video on YouTube and then paused after I saw that the video I am including in this link said that she won Britain's Got Talent. I backed up to it because I was just curious enough to know what is popular in 2024. In the video there are the three songs she sang in order to win. The first was Tomorrow from Annie. I watched her stage introduction and performance with a bit of awe. Especially her personality and how it infectiously enhanced her singing. I then was treated by her semi final performance of her rendition of Sinatra's My Way. Wow, explosive to say the least! I was blown away to my core.
     Sydnie Christmas is such a real beautiful person that for me she reminds me of what life is all about. Inspiration is such a inadequate word yet close at least. Her winning version of the song Over the Rainbow was unique and delivered as perfectly as possible given the human condition. I will never be the same person since almost scrolling past her performances on BGT. I am thrilled that I got to see the magic that is Sydnie Christmas. I have called her a Cinderella story and I am not wrong one bit. She is why we all should strive to hope no matter what befalls us. It is nice to be alive and see her incredible no one to someone journey. Thank you Sydnie Christmas for touching my heart with your voice and character.

(#5769) Real men want women to have equal rights!

     Apparently there is a lack of real men in America. I am sure the men who voted against women having equal rights will disagree with me but the evidence is not with them. Real men do not need to control women in order to be strong. Strength is helping to fight against injustices, not perpetuating them. A real man is someone who knows he can defend his own rights but also feels the need to help others defend their rights even if it costs them a price. Real men see the world as it is and wherever injustice exists fights to end it. What real men don't do is take advantage of others so that they themselves can benefit by it. Real men are looked upon with respect and admiration for putting themselves on hold while fighting for equal rights for all.
     It is not complex to want freedom of self for all people. It is actually very simply understood. When we all are able to pursue our own paths in life we are practicing justice through equality, freedom, and liberty. This is what democracy is, equal human rights. So when men vote to deny women the right to define their own paths it is to deny them equal rights. It is injustice and no other contrary definition can apply. There is no reason for all men not to support their mothers, who gave them birth and nurtured them into self supporting beings. There is no reason for men not to support their wives who they have vowed would be their other half. I just don't get men who deny women equal rights and then act like women should be grateful.
     Weak men want to control others and in this case the women are the others. Weak men think they are being strong but being strong does not mean ignoring or muscling tights away from women. Weak men will not allow themselves to grow into real men because they are used to being selfish and do not want to give away their unearned power. over women. Weak men walk a tightrope where they tell women they love them but at the same time treat women like their property. The problem is that women see the lie of weak men and will never give them the respect and honor they might otherwise have earned. Weak men live in an unsettled illusion where they see themselves as more than they really are. Real men never have to worry about illusions as they live in the real world where their souls are content.

(#5768) I am getting my power back

      Yesterday I started to feel like I was over the worst of the gut punch from the election. This morning I am really feeling much better and a bit feisty to boot! Which is what I was hoping for. Less than two weeks from the devastating news and I am almost back to normal. I like the rebound time as I wasn't sure if a rebound would even occur. Yet here I am feeling like fighting for our rights and freedoms with some power. Not my full power but a reserve of it that makes me smile, if only a little. Where I go with my new injection of strength is still undetermined but know this it will not align in any way with those forces that just crushed my soul.
     Apart from reassessing my agenda and how that looks, I will carry some known battles forward. Helping Ukraine in anyway possible will remain. Fighting for our democracy without a doubt will always be my number one mission in life. Nothing about this coming time is of a personal wishlist on my part it is all about how I can contribute to our collective desire to instill equality, liberty, freedom, justice, and fairness back into our social order. There is no time for me to think about what I personally would want in what is left of my life because I don't have a second to waste on my own selfishness. I get by well enough and somewhat better than those who are less fortunate, so no ego here.
     All of this is a new type of experience for me in that I hadn't anticipated being even more a stalwart defender of democracy. I thought, rightly so, that a new generation of determined democracy defenders would step up and continue our fight to improve our society. Yet, it seems that is not the case and more so I am left to improve myself to be even stronger in order to finally defeat the forces of hatred and ego! I needed some time to replenish my reserves and regrow a new resolve to establish who I am and what I must become to fulfill my hopes and dreams for our democracy. What I hope for is a fighting chance to survive the next four years and work to build a groundswell that will not be overcome by deception and greed for power!
     

(#5767) Moving from devastation to resolve

      It is still early days but I am starting to feel the transition from my utter disappointment and the gut punch sensation that encompasses the election result. Don't get me wrong, there is still a dumbfoundedness that will likely never be transitioned from but the cruel and brutal despair that knows what is coming has a way forward. I spoke of this in the last few posts as time. With some amount of time all will come around for me to put this crass and depressing feeling behind not only me but so many like me. Understanding that there is hope in aligning ourselves together to buttress against the worst trump will throw at us is the first line of protection that we will continually add to.
     What has happened has already happened and that helps in making the case that losing any more time to despair is not what I need. Yet my whole being is hurt and needs some kind of salve. Time is usually that salve but too much time is not healthy when a healing needs to take place with some urgency. I am not the only one who is smarting hard from disappointment. The many of us who were with me and others to work to get our candidates elected are all in the same predicament. We must all quickly process our pain and then reforge it into a burning activism that will allow us an outlet to fight with a mettle much stronger than before.
     As I am transitioning to a more battle ready individual I am finding a calmness that I hadn't expected. Instead of being angry and frustrated I am quieter and more ready to be keen and aware. My stature has moved from being shrunk toward being tall. I am not a being who is accustomed to accepting defeat no matter how hard the loss. I am a fighter who has been deeply wounded but it seems the wound is healing faster than I had imagined and I am getting stronger than before. Even though one fight ended in a crushing defeat the next fight is looming. I have a mission to protect and expand and it is our democracy. Not a perfect democracy to this point but my fight is always toward perfecting it. That is my catalyst for picking myself off the floor, dusting myself off, and then charging back into our battle to have every individual person matter.

(#5766) It is going to take a while...

      I am going to be fine in some amount of time. But knowing when is the problem. I just don't seem to want to care anymore about anything that has always been important to me for all of us. But that will pass and I will once again get on my best behavior. For now I am so gutted that it is like I need some kind of catalyst to reconnect myself with myself. I don"t like having to wait on chance or karma or fate but it seems that is what I need to jolt me back to my best self. Even knowing what I need is not enough to get me to it. I just know that in time I will find my way back. Nothing has ever changed in my life about how I care for all of us.
     I suppose it is because all of us have a major group of nincompoops that care only about themselves or have given up being informed with facts and truths instead of conveniences and laziness. Then there are those who are devoid of care for anyone other than themselves and theirs. How I work is that I want all of us to succeed in life even those who are not up to speed on that dynamic. As bright as I see what could be our future I am also aware of the pain and suffering we bring to each other and the darkness it tempers the light with. I am a human being who is emotional and caring. So when those around me are caused pain because of ignorance and/or debased concepts I build up within me a simmering not akin to hope and joy!
     But that simmering within me has no outlet so a nullification process within me needs time to get me back to my clear happy self. With the results of this last election however more time than normal is required. I will be back but not as soon as some are able to bounce back. I admire them for their ability to flush this disappointment in ways that allow them to stand and fight so quickly. I will be there but not at the moment. I cannot even find the joy to write my blog posts. I will not stop in a most foundational way but nothing much more will be coming from me for now. I do miss me and hopefully sooner than later I will be back to having fun and enjoying life as a grateful human being who knows he is fortunate to live in this existence despite its obvious flaws.

(#5765) The struggle is not for the faint of heart

      Yet, even the faint of heart learn to find a way to help. That time is not with us yet however. As we have just learned given a choice we all had to move beyond a lot of the struggle. Instead we not only kept our current hardships but are now allowing new hardships to emerge. Apparently an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is not a motto we Americans can utilize. Let me be clear here as well. We Americans are not some rough and tough creed that can shoulder burdens unlike any other nationality. I can think of one country that is so strong in character and behavior that we Americans pale when compared. The Ukrainians fighting for their very existence now for coming up on 3 years against an overwhelming brutal force.
     But as it is now we Americans must think we are rough and tough because we vote like we don't require any help for ourselves or those who are suffering. Our illogical reasoning is causing the whole of the world to backtrack into a more neanderthalian presence. Using brutality instead of wisdom is our failing but it is the path we are heading down. We will see where this strategy leaves us before we can either change it or fall victim to it. I don't have a clue what my fellow country persons are expecting but it won't be without shame and embarrassment. Yet it seems the majority are not convinced that shame and embarrassment are deterrents. Our arrogance precludes any doubt about what we think and how we act.
     When I say our when talking about the current state of affairs I am talking about the majority who voted for what the next 4 years will bring. Many of us voted against it but not enough. So in for a penny in for a pound. The minority of us will fight against the majority will in any way we can but we are not going to change the inevitable. It will happen and then we live with it until we can vote again to change it. It is my hope that our votes will actually matter but I am not convinced we will ever get a chance to vote again as a democracy without interference from those who do not want to give up power.

(#5764) Like the song lyric says, reach out of the darkness!

     I know that feeling low is a real thing and being in a low place is not healthy. Yet living in reality is what got me there. I am a human being who is affected by things that matter to me and when those things go awry so do I in some way. I know all this so it isn't some mystery to me. It is just how I am. But, it isn't a constant. I am evolving daily so what got me to a low place cannot keep me there because I am not stuck in a status quo type reality. I move on because I am evolving daily. I may not evolve quickly but I do evolve. So as I am meandering in my low spot for now I can already sense a change coming. Time is the best healer for now and the little bit of time that has passed is already working as a salve to my near fatal wound.
     I can feel the inkling of a ferocity that is welling up within me even though it is so slight at the moment. Knowing myself as I do I can be assured that this peek at a coming anger is not an illusion. It is a response to the devastation I have fought against for too much of my adult life. I won't be changing from whom I have always been. What will happen in its appropriate timing is me coming back to work to bring us back once again to a brink where next time we don't fall short. I have had the resolve to get past this type of disappointment and will again restore that energy at my full disposal. I know this because I know me. I am no quitter who will languish in sorrow. Instead I will spend time to decompress and process my failures and then lift my head ready to battle the forces that deny human and other animal rights.
     I am not there yet but I feel the resurgence however little it is for now. I am not one who takes failure well. I have been shaken to my core by it. So as the deep drop of failure has taken me down, the rising back up will also be a climb. But climb I will and when I have resteadied my footing back on solid ground the battle for the soul of humanity will once again commence from my being. My contribution for now is to allow myself some grace to mourn. The sensitivity of this failure has hit me in such an acute way as to nearly dissolve my care for what is correct and good. Nearly, is not completely. As long as there is a shred of decency left in the world I will align with it. So beware those who would unlink equality and freedom from humanity...
     

(#5763) We cannot count on a collective consciousness

      I used to think we were all basically on the same page. Logic and common sense generally in the more foundational ways included. That is what I used to think. It is evidently clear now that there is no collective consciousness that is shared. Sure some of us can find commonality within our foundational understandings but not enough of us to keep us on track to implement that consciousness into social norms. Instead what we have is a disjointed misunderstanding based upon fallacies and intentional deceptions. That we are not able to delineate fallacies and deliberate deceptions from our individual and collective consciousnesses is a major step backward in our human evolution.
     The depth and breadth of our decline is more than troubling it is dangerous. Our species had been on a path of intellectual enlightenment until we found ourselves less concerned with knowledge and more concerned with ease. Even more than ease in this case. It is a laziness of inquisitiveness and a lack of boldness to expand our futures with possibilities. We humans have lost the will to not only survive but to thrive in our universe with a conviction toward discovery. Instead we want to sit back in our comfort and live like kings and queens regardless of the current state of the unanswered problems within our societies. We have in other words reached a plateau that we are not equipped to leave.
     I don't know how we as a species can move further into our evolution. I am so flabbergasted by the end of the road of our species that I am numbed by it all. Of course I am angry and willing to continue on but unless the many of us can awaken from our what seems like to me a stupor, I know I am not strong enough to carry the weight that is getting heavier. I will always do more than my part but others need to at least do their part. It is as if having a purpose in life beyond ourselves is lost on so many that going forward together is now unachievable. I would never have guessed that our current generation would be the one that would destroy the future of humanity but it appears never has arrived.

(#5762) Marking our existence with time and behavior

      For too many the idea of our lives having some meaning beyond our own imagination is lost. I and others like me do not dismiss or ignore this idea. First let me explain what I mean by time and behavior. Time as we know it is a human construct to differentiate the changing present. Logic helps us to define time as either past, present, or future. This is important in that we are not without a capability to understand those things around us that are in continual change. By ascribing a definition of knowledge to impetus and catalysts we at times are able to predict somewhat a future round of events. Like know trajectories of space objects and if they will strike our planet in devastating ways.
     Being able to know the future in predictable ways is a benefit to the survival of our species if that is what we should choose to care about. We have built paradigms of tools that hold steadfast to logic and common sense. We have done this with our understanding that time is the key to formulating equations that remain on an even flow of consistency. For me time is more than a human construct. It is a value to the placemark where we humans exist. Another value is behavior. I am no one who believes we live in a test tube, observable by forces of perfect intellect. Yet I do believe that for me I am at a point in my life where the undefinable can be shaped through a quest for a higher order of enlightenment. I look at it this way. I am not convinced that my being able to reason, analyze, and conclude is an intentional irrational capacity.
     That is just me however. I do not adhere to tales that give me comfort, but I do imagine that an evolution within the time we human beings exist is a goal worthy of considering. I know the Universe exists and I within it. That is all I know so any preposition I would entertain must be within that parameter. That is my take on time and behavior. Time helps me to differentiate while behavior defines for me what it is to be my best human being. That is all I can contribute but it is honest and real. I hold myself accountable through what it could be like to be an honorable conscious being. There is no higher trait to me in existence than to fulfill the ideals of time and behavior within our Universe.

(#5761) I will never stop hoping for the better of human nature

      So the question now is what is the better of human nature? Compassion and curiosity. These two human traits underpin every post I have ever posted on this site. We care and we wonder. What happens when we don't care or wonder? We become the worst of what a human being will become. Much like today in our politics. Where we look to blame and punish those who are weaker and vulnerable because we collectively don't have the courage to shoulder our own responsibilities. The motto of being lesser is fine with too many of us according to the latest national voting. I am so disappointed that words are not enough to describe the gut punch I feel.
     I as an elder human being who had always thought the better of our species, now cannot justify that. I cannot say look at that achievement as evidence of our amazingness. No, I instead have to say I am sorry for my species for being so self centered and insensitive that we again collectively are choosing to harm instead of make small sacrifices for the good of all. The culprit of selfishness has become a cult like worshipping to those who somehow tell themselves they are better than other human beings based solely on some form of privilege. They feel like they deserve more and others are not allowed. Greed is also part of that selfishness and for me to understand it I find it is a lack of compassion and curiosity that has led them to that form of contradiction of theirs that is founded on fear.
     I want to make this point very clear here. I am older and clearly much closer to my end than from my beginning. So my future is not so much going to be affected as much as those who are just starting out in life. Yet I am a warning sound to those who will listen. Curiosity and compassion will fill our lives with the best of who we can be while fulfilling our capabilities to be bold and courageous with conviction. There is nothing in the world like knowing we are living as the best human being we can be despite our occasional failings. Life is short and there is not much for us to glean from to answer the great questions about life but know this! When we are living in our most honorable form we exist as a mighty being that finds happiness and contentment wherever we go and for however long that journey of ours lasts.

(#5760) Even in disaster evolution happens

      As I sit here 3 plus days later I still feel numb. Which to me is still processing even though I am going nowhere. Numbness is what I have to go through to get to something else that involves me feeling like I have been gutted like a fish ready to be thrown on the flame. Where all my emotions reside, my guts, is what has to begin again from the eviscerating gut punch that will then become a void. In some amount of time I will start to feel somewhat normal again with a new resolve bolstered by the axiom that whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I have been here before. Several times actually. In 2016 I went through this in a most similar way. Other times earlier in my life as well with personal relationships that absolutely caught me off guard.
     So I know this emotional phenomenon. Although I am older, I am more seasoned with experience. Which should make passing through this transition much more understandable. Yet it is the disappointment that doesn't change in intensity. But I am no novice so I will evolve to come out of this with a renewed vigor to live life with the correct principles and honorable deeds I expect from myself. In the meantime I am going through what I need to do. This numbness is at least a calm place. I know I tell myself that I should just stop caring about this existence with a naive innocence, but I don't. Because the lens of innocence is where real maturity and wisdom is revealed.
     Those who say that reality is harsh and cruel are the ones who have resolved themselves to it or are its architects. I am not one of those. I want a smile on my face and to do no harm. How hard does that sound to do? How correct does that feel to live like that? But existence does not bend to my perspective so I must endure the realities that affect me and how they make me feel. Like right now, numb! I will not surrender to those who have allowed the worst of who we are to define us. I will not allow those who cannot imagine to create what the many of us know is possible. In time I will grow into a new man with guts that fully function again. But for now I am of little use until I am back to being the best of me.

(#5759) I almost stopped this blog

      I have now posted more than 5758 blog posts since I first started in 2009. More than 15 years of almost daily blog posts. I missed on less than 10 days but posted 2 blog posts the following day of each missed day to make up for the missed days. So essentially 15 plus years of approximately at least 300 words of writing a day. Not an easy feat. Yet to get my thoughts down into some kind of record was my goal. I liked seeing how my thoughts end up as words. Well, I am not liking how my thoughts end up as words given the horrendous outcome of this last national election. I am not as enthused as when I first began, sadly.
     I think of myself as a good person who wants everyone to have that thought about themselves. Yet I find myself in a world where the less caring are more involved in the direction of our future than the more enlightened who just don't seem to care. It is an anomaly that the less courageous and brave among us are the ones who are the most vocal about how we need to stop evolving as a species. They are more cruel and brutish in their mindsets and are determined to see that any enlightenment is only allowed under considerations that do not involve the most basic concepts of liberty and freedom. Which is in contradiction to the democracy that they were given.
     I understand that growing our democracy is necessary, yet the ones who do not want our democracy to grow are all about shrinking it. I am even concerned that the end of our democracy is a reality with the outcome of this election. Which in summation is likely why I feel like ending my continuation of this blog. Yet here I am writing it with a bit of gusto as a way to explain how I feel. I suppose each day going forward will give me more insight into what I will do but for now I am stuck between the thought that my thoughts don't seem to resonate like I thought they would even though the principles of democracy and the intelligent evolution of the human species is the only quest I have ever been on.

(#5758) I have nothing this morning

      There will be no complaining nor finger pointing from me because I just feel hollow inside. Nothing brewing in me but dumbfoundedness. I have little to no cares left to give except that I have to go to work today to resume my unfulfilled existence. I have hopes and dreams within me but for now they are on hold. Just the one foot in front of the other cadence I need to continue. I have not lost my smile nor my characteristic behavior, although tempered, still there. So that is how I continue. I just meet each scenario that presents itself to me with as much good willed gusto as possible. I know changes are coming but for now they are not clearly defined and in that vacuum I will exist.
     I am not different from the many of us who expected more from all of us Americans. We really let too many of us down while as well dismissing the hopeful feelings of the world who look to us to carry the banner of freedom and equality. The numbing will eventually fade and a new rallying will emerge but for these early days the hope of our American democracy has taken a big hit. I will apologize to the world and my similar minded fellow Americans who fought hard to keep our democracy intact. We did not fail to organize and present our arguments for preserving our democracy to all who would listen. The problem is that even though hearing our plea for justice and honor it was not acted upon. Too many did not bother to give their voice to a vote so we lost by default to the monsters who will now have their way with us and the world at large.
     We just went through terror from 2017 to 2021 but it seems that we Americans are not able to remember the horror of that time perpetrated by the same person who is now going to do an even more cruel job of it for the next 4 years. I would say we deserve what we do to ourselves but not all of us. Some of us are constantly reminding our citizenry of what is nobly possible and we are not given the respect of that effort in votes. Instead we are ignored and then the worst comes about. I know we Americans have been given great things from our foreparents but it seems that we are unable to appreciate them like they deserve to be appreciated. The hardships are coming again instead of the great things that could have been. Self inflicted wounds seem to be the new American motto.

(#5757) Very sad

      I had hoped we as a country were ready to move forward on equal rights for our women. They are human beings as well and deserve every right that any man would have. Yet it seems it is not to be this time either. Coincidentally it was trump who denied both, Kamala 2024 and Hillary 2016, with his interpretation of a macho man. He isn't macho in the sense of strength and decency only in cruelty and divisiveness. Yet it seems he has rightly gauged the American electorate at its core since he has pulled off another victory. His unfailing disdain for all things that do not herald him as some kind of savior will be a brutish penalty for we who are defenders of democracy will have to pay.
     It is early this morning so I am still wrapping my head around the disappointment of again losing an opportunity to build upon the principles of equality and justice but it seems that America is not the beacon we had hoped we would be. There will be some changes to our form of democracy and it will be a lessening change not an expansive change. The trump people will work to dismantle more freedoms and liberties over the next at least 2 years. What that will look like given no unforeseen events will add to the disappointment many of us share. It rather sickens me that the real despots of the world are celebrating the trump victory and our allies are left wondering what to do about us now. As if they didn't have enough to worry about with putin and xi and their cabal of like minded tyrants.
     This post is not one I looked forward to making but despite my preference to ignore it for as long as I felt this disappointment I knew I had to at least say something about what happened last night. I won't do the comparison with 2016 because that is just piling on more injury. I will say though that I will fight on and continue to work to get my fellow countrymen/women to understand that harm is not the answer to whatever ails us. We must not make pain for others because we are angry or indifferent. our species is an amazing phenomenon but unless we recognize our unique value to each other we will go by the wayside with all other species who have had a chance to evolve into something much more enlightened than we currently exhibit.

(#5756) 0 days left

     We have arrived at election day. 82,713,594 as of last night around 10:30 pm, this was the early vote total. What the election day total will be is still to be determined but I suspect that it will be huge. Either huge or small it is here and what it tells us by the end of the day will have an effect on whether we keep our democracy or not. I and others have been sounding this alarm bell for decades concerning the direction of the republican party. They finally got the candidate they wanted who is more sociopath than empathetic. He is an image they prefer to project as strong and brutish. A brute who is not about what humanity demands, only what lust, greed, and power may provide.
     On the other hand we have the democrat who is so kind and helpful that she is the polar opposite of what the republicans drool over. Their cruelty is there credo, while compassion is ours. We who are democrats and now showing more independents stand behind what is best about our people. The welcoming spirit that is encouraging and positive. We democrats realize this about existence, it is short in duration for our individual beings so living in a just and respected world is an imperative. We do not waste time on being cruel to people because we can be like republicans, we instead focus on how to help others achieve their dreams like we wish to achieve ours. Again, life is too short to be doing harm.
     Today is the day we who have not voted get to go and express our voice about our present and future. Tonight is the time when we count those voices in the form of votes and see how we are to proceed with our American dream. The pursuit of our individual and collective happinesses is taking shape on this election day and may we all be gifted with another 4 years of forward evolving democracy. That is my hope and I do believe the hope of most Americans. We will know soon enough as there will be no more voting after tonight. The American dream of democracy that our foreparents fought and died for is on the line today. Us even having a chance to vote to protect democracy is a testament to the past efforts of our foreparents that allow us to honor the love of their great sacrifice.