(#6036) My intent is to always be honest

      I made a decision a long time ago that I would live my life trying to be a good guy. I had previously been ambivalent as to whether I would be a good guy because I hadn't yet figured out that my nature is to be helpful, not selfish. So I had to go through that learning phase in order to know how I was affected by decisions I myself made. I found that I didn't like myself when I was selfish. I felt petty and guilty of being greedy. I had to know who I was before I could become whom I am now. I wish I had learned my lessons earlier on and didn't have to spend way too much time not being the best me I try to be.
     My first step toward my true nature was to be honest with myself. It was not an overnight evolution. It took me decades to finally get the point of it all. But when I did get past that first step of being honest about all I was doing was when I knew I was on the correct path for living my life. The foundation of honesty is perfect for me and I suspect perfect for many others as well. I know the truth of things is often a painful and/or greedy reality, but in that comes about a peace and a sense of tranquility that I could not attain before. As the years have gone by the pain and guilt of not being honest is far less in scope and the benefit of being honest is far more rewarding.
     Because of my growth into honesty the pain and greed have mostly disappeared because my expectations and intentions are at the forefront of my present. I am what I represent and that is a lot to me if not a lot to those who see me. The simplicity of honesty is a growth evolution from the pushes and pulls of a world where selfishness is often a forced requirement. I moved past self gratification to a place where I am not what I acquire but what I think. I place value in the living of a life that is free from guilt and dishonesty. That relief is invaluable and for me cannot be measured. My intent is to be honest and that really is the best of me.