To endure for eternity (#608)

I am satisfied, though at times I am weary and without vigor, that I will continue to do what is right in my heart and mind forever. I know that the only real measure of control I have is in this existence. I also know that it is easy for me to be diverted from my best intents due to circumstances and situations that I fail to pay attention to. For the most part however, my life in existence can be fulfilling in that I can always strive to do what I know to be right. It is the premise I started out with that is more difficult to prove or defend in a practical way. I do not know what the unknown is and what I might, if anything, do there. Eternity is forever. I know that if eternity offers me a conscious thought I will evaluate my surroundings with the same type of process I use here. A process that is an example of the best of pride. A pride that is instilled in one's virtue. To be proud of one's correct and positive actions and thoughts. To have nothing but bold love and courage for living. My take on this is that to give the best of what others see in me to everyone. I do not ever want to be known as someone who did not give when the giving was the right thing to do. In a way it is being a leader of what to do when the best of what to do is required. It is a way of thinking that never doubts it's authenticity. Virtue is the hallmark of humanity. Love may be the greatest personal sentient experience ever, I know this in my heart, but the actions of all virtues outweigh any personal ones in the greater scope as an example to humanity. In a perfect world, all the good would work together to grow from there. Since we are not in a perfect world here in this existence, I must strive to be the most virtuous I can be while also hoping that love finds it's way to me. I have to start with me and know that throughout any time continuum, my unequivocal attempt to be a virtuous man will endure for eternity.

The greatest threat to humankind is fear (#607)

For all the positive attributes humanity has displayed over time, one thing could be greater than them all combined, fear. It is doubly confounding in that life has been given to us each without a price to pay. We were born and nurtured into who we are without obligation. Life, for me has been a gift. I did nothing to get to existence. I have learned since I have been here that life is also finite. Which means I will only be here for a set period of time. Given that life has been free to me and that it is also only for a duration, why would I be afraid of anything? How is it that fear could paralyze me into action or non-action? It is a mindset that allows for fear to control me when I don't want it to. The mindset that I am owed, that life owes me and that is my motivation and outlook. It is wrong to think that life owes anyone. Life is a gift. When I move away from the concept of "being deserved something" toward the concept of humility and gratitude, I find that fear has very little interaction in my life. I am able to speak my mind about honor and the best principles of life without regard to my own selfishness. In doing so, I find a liberating freedom in my spirit which not only builds my character but gives me strength of conviction. Courage will always allay fear. I can only find courage when I am defending that which is of great purpose. To be noble is no useless ideal, it is actually a prerequisite to finding peace. Many things have contributed to me not having the insight into who and how I should be, greed and an ill-conceived concept of my own value and worth. I have the insight now to know that I have no value or worth unless I stand with virtue as my guide. I still have some of the intent of greed within me but it is greed for being a better person, who tries hard to have no time for any fear.

Nothing for granted (#606)

How quickly the time flies by. There are so many things I find important during my day and then something happens that puts my outlook into perspective. A friend of mine is suffering with a major arterial bleed in his brain. He is an older gentleman who is not a likely candidate for a high risk operation. What then? Nature taking it's course. All the things I found important before have now faded into insignificance. What I really know right now is that the fragility of life is everywhere. There can be no taking things for granted when it comes to our lives. Society, as we know it, is structured around the premise of keeping us busy doing things toward all of our common interests, ideally anyway. It is a kind of make-work reality, whereas the things we do are important and necessary for society to continue to function, but regardless is still a make-work paradigm. The real importance is our connections to one another. Our sense of welcome and togetherness. These are the real important things in life. Or so, once again, I am reminded by the destiny and fate that comes my way. Despite the fact that time will call all of us eventually to the end of our days, the reality of it doing just that is still a shock and suffering event. In the meantime, as I think and meditate on what is going on around me I will continue to try to remember that it is us, which is what life is all about.

Love beyond all reason (#605)

I was emotionally reminded of how pure and powerful love can be expressed by a simple movie about a man and his dog. In the movie, "Hachi", the man dies but his dog remains faithful to him for the rest of his life. The story was based on an actual happening. The reason I was reminded was that I once had a dog who would never leave my side. I took my Carson everywhere with me whenever possible. He didn't care where we went as long as he was with me. I was known to say that the better of the two of us was he. He displayed a loyalty to me to this day I am still in awe of. The emotional reminder is that a great act of love will override all other things. Nothing compares to the magnificence and beauty of love displayed through unending loyalty. I see this noble principle established and acted upon by a species considered less than human. I have to question what the baseline is, in some categories, for the determination of which species has evolved to a greater level of life. The sheer power of emotion that courses through me, then and now, as I feel the loyal love given to me by my little canine friend was and is overwhelming. When my heart is experiencing the greatest of all feelings within me I am at the most pure with who and what I am. It is also revealing that when I do hit the height of the physical effect generated within me I know that humanity is capable of anything and everything good. I am not the master of this existence and I cannot tell why we are here, but I will say that we are not the only species capable of displaying noble qualities.

A remarkable world (#604)

There are not enough adjectives to describe how fortunate I feel to be part of this world. Somehow I exist with abilities that are amazing. I can see things that are absolutely indescribable. I can hear sounds that soothe and excite me to limitless boundaries. The smells, tastes and feel of things are incredible. But even beyond those I have a mind that can formulate concepts of mystery and intrigue as well as search out new ways of imagining the known and unknown. What may be the single most important ability I have is how I can feel love. Love transcends everything, I know and do, to experience it. Love is the one ability I have where I would not question whether I should give my life for it. I may seem sentimental, however my experience is that once love is experienced there is nothing else in the known Universe it's equal. All these gifts I have from just being born into life and realizing that they exist within me. I am fortunate that I have not been deprived of any of these gifts from birth or through living life. I am humbled by that. I am also aware that time will have it's say in my life and the time for living is finite. All of these things I realize and hold precious. There is nothing in me that thinks I deserve anything. On the contrary, This unique window into this dimension and the reality it displays further reinforces to me that I owe to existence the best of what I am not the other way around. My purpose here is to be the best me without regard to selfishness and fear. To be another piece within the majesty of this world.

Being benevolent is the right thing to do (#603)

The acts that define charity and the spirit of good will toward others are benevolent. Truly pleasurable moments when I am in the position to participate. Acts of kindness lift my spirit from the regular emotion of reality to the higher plane of joy. I often lose track of what is going on around me when I am working toward something I want for myself. It is not difficult to understand that putting myself first in things leaves me vulnerable to not seeing what is happening to others. I must not be in so much of a hurry to accomplish my personal goals that I miss the bigger picture of life happening around me. I may be an individual encapsulated within the boundaries of my skin, but that is not enough of reality for me to live in. I am not satisfied with only being for myself, I want to be for more than just me. I get to do that by being a benevolent human. I am not judging, I am realizing what is going on. The questions "why" things are the way they are and "why" can't everyone take care of themselves is not for me to explain. I only see what needs to be done and when I can do something I do it. I get the benefit of a sense of an act of compassion, which by my understanding is right and good. I am not so much a biblical person but there are a few ideas that come from the bible that make perfect sense to me. "Build not your kingdom on earth but in heaven"-paraphrased. The riches and pleasures of this world are those that are stored in my mind and heart. Nothing else compares. The true act of being benevolent is so the right thing to do.

What will having hope do for me? (#602)

For so long in my life I lived without actually hoping for something for myself. I just lived day to day, getting what I could get because I had no sense of purpose. It was a daily routine of seeing what I could get for me without any rationalization of the consequences I was creating. I sought no guidance or rule set to live by. I just wanted what I wanted anyway I could reasonably, or close to that, obtain it. My life was unprincipled and untrustworthy.  I was fine with that since everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. Fairness was who could lie, cheat or steal to get what they wanted. My problem was that I was not consciously able to lie, cheat or steal with any real talent. My soul or spirit drew a line at "how low I would go." Fortunately for me I had found a bottom from which I could go no lower. I knew that if I was going to continue living it had to be different than what I was doing previously. Fast forward to today. I have something within me that is called hope. It is a promise of what could be if I put my best efforts toward it and stay positive. It is only what could be and in no way does it realistically have to come true. But my hope is real and that is the point. In many ways we are taught that it is the journey of life that is important and not necessarily where we are going. With the hope I have now within me I can have both, the journey and the destination. I am not guaranteed this but I can try and give my best living to it. My character and personality dictate to me that without my hope I have nothing but an empty existence of being but not purposeful doing. Having hope is the key to why I am reflecting out to everyone else who I am.

Laughter as a tonic (#601)

There seems to be an unending amount of things for me to stress and worry over and it does take it's toll on me from time to time. I believe I am going through one of those "times" now. I have thought about how I should deal with the depressing complacency I am experiencing and one positive thought has occurred to me, laugh. It is a lot like what I normally do in the morning when I first look at myself in the mirror in the morning, I smile. I am going to continue to laugh at the things that bother me that I have no control over. It is amazing that just typing this thought about laughing has brought a smile to my face. I wonder how well this concept of just laughing will serve me? I will continue to try for resolution of things despite laughing about them but, certainly, my perspective has changed from a negative outlook to a positive one. I have written on this blog before about how if one truly wants something to happen in their life, it may be made to happen only through enduring resolve to never give up on it. I guess I forgot my own advice. It is not unusual for me to forget and then be reminded of things. I am sure it is common to all of us. What is inescapable is that I am human, and as such, may forgive myself for not being on top of the things that really matter to me. My fallibility is recognized but not given as an acceptable excuse for forgetting. It is just that life wears me down sometimes and I neglect to see it for what it is doing to me. I hope to correct this behavior so that I won't be writing about this anymore.

The changing of my thoughts (#600)

So much of my life is thought driven. I am becoming less and less dependent upon spontaneous reaction. It is not unusual for this evolution to be occurring within me, specifically, and others, generally. It is from the process of maturing. As I am getting older from learning and experiencing, I am understanding that everything I am doing has a consequence. The criticalness of my thinking through actions is not to be undervalued. I am certainly trying to be what I aspire towards and any nonchalance in that purpose potentially sets me back. There are fewer paradigms for me to invest my complete effort into, but trying to live with wisdom and conscious thought are two. I find that the importance of being purposeful, fulfills a few ambitions of mine. First, I get to be a part of a calculation that is either important to me or important to someone else. Second, I find a sublimity in accomplishing a purposeful endeavor. The regard I have now for the minutia in the everyday chaos of life has become acutely attractive to me. Life, really is about all the little things that happen as I am living life. There is no insignificant event. All work in some interconnectedness to make what I analyze and reason to become my reality. From the carefree, cavalier days of my youth to the thoughtful, considerate older mature adult I have become.

The box I don't live in (#599)

It is enough to know that I am alive, and fortunate to understand that. When the concepts of assumption, expectation, desires and deserves comes up I am lucky that I have peace with them. I am privileged to live on this planet and enjoy life in society. Everyday is like Christmas morning, full of wonder and care. I live my life from the inside out. Everything that is precious to me resides inside of me. Everything else is just decoration. I am not the normal American who strives to live a life that is measured by outward accomplishment. I know that not all Americans live this way but most do. Our society has created a path which, if followed, can lead to certain plateaus of success and admiration. This is well and good for those who see it for the efficacy and happiness it can bring. My mind has chosen another path for me to follow. It is unique to me, in that I follow only this simple rule. Constantly be ready to learn something. Everything else that happens in life will fall into it's place. I have no road map. I am just living and learning. My world is not surrounded by limits, actually, my world is limitless. The few responsibilities I have can always be relinquished in favor of moving into another direction. I am mobile enough to allow for sudden change. This life I live today suits me. I am not living within the confines of an imaginary box with certain and definable boundaries. I am not saying that having a life that offers security is not to be desired, I am saying that for me, I want to be able to adjust to any circumstance that may come my way.

The effect of being honest (#598)

I don't know how many times I have thought in my mind that sugar-coating the truth would make it sound better. Too many times I suppose. It is wrong every time, no matter how I can justify it in my head. First off, not telling the truth, as it actually is, does nothing to continue my growth in living a truthful experience. It also begins to justify the slippery slope of lying about little things toward lying about bigger things. This morning I initially had the thought that if I only explained a shortened version of a previous action it would sound less offensive and actually very restrained. When the reality was it had nothing to do with restraint and was selfish, revengeful and quite offensive. I suppose my sense of self-preservation may have been attempting to find an easy way out by fudging the truth. But what really is apparent now is that I was being a coward for not admitting I was at fault for my previous behavior. I am sure I am not the only one who has the problem of admitting not only a lack of courage but the act of cowardice as well. It is not often that the truth of this comes into play in my life but come into play in my life it does. If I choose to own up to it then I am giving myself a chance to learn a lesson and hopefully grow from that example. I do not need to deny that I am given to the human failings we all experience. I also do not need to deny the fact of the happening of it when it does happen in my life. The best judge in my life is me and I need to trust that being honest about me, is truly, the best for me.

My perception of existence (#597)

This is somewhat simple to describe. I open my eyes and I look out and what I see is in existence. There are many things to see and to describe everything would be too difficult in this short post. I also hear sounds that go with what I see and they add complexity to what I perceive. Reality, in the sense of real tangible things, is somewhat stable and consistent. The tree I saw yesterday is still almost exactly the tree I see today. Given that natural and man-made surroundings stay fairly consistent, I find that reality can be counted on to mostly remain constant. That is an explanation of the natural and man-made environment I dwell in. Another perception I have of existence is the inner workings of how our society functions. By our society, I am referring to the myriad societies that exist on this planet. I have not seen them all but I have seen enough to understand that there is variation in how they operate. Most of us live within societies that protect and broaden life to allow for greater life experiences. It is the ones that don't, the societies that work to inhibit the life experience, that holds it's citizens back from joining the rest of humanity in a better way of living life, that deny the opportunities to experience life equally with most of the rest of us, that bother me. These are the societal perceptions that stand out to me. I am not so concerned with how far I can go in my life when others' lives are being lived without getting much of a start. The filter, my conscious driven action, of my best perception has much work to do.

"I think therefore I exist"-Rene Descartes (#596)

"I think therefore I exist". I am mostly satisfied with this theory. I also have senses which also serve to indicate to me that I exist. Based upon the two examples I have noted, I am well convinced that I exist. None of this is normally in dispute but since our world is ever evolving, stating the obvious serves to remind and enlighten where it otherwise could be misconstrued. I am an individual that exists here on this planet with all of the rest of us. We are born, live and die. None of us escape the cycle of life and death. None of us is given anything that would indicate to the rest of us a special dispensation which would make any of us any more unique. My mindset is always set to the fact that whatever this experience is for us, in this existence, is that we all get to experience it together. What do I make of how history has shown what we do to each other in the past? It is a perplexing problem. Each human has, as a birthright, the inalienable nature of individualism. In other words, as a consequence of being born, we are each given the same set of natural rights, our own selves. What we do within ourselves is what we get to choose to do without interference. In respecting how we experience our lives, short of harming others or ourselves, we are beholden to no one. Our lives are real and can be whatever we can make of them. The sanctity of our life and the thoughts and actions we experience, ultimately define how we existed when we were given that chance.

My indomitable spirit (#595)

There are moments, and I mean just moments when I can create an outcome based mostly on my indomitable spirit. These moments are short term, and in mostly no way can they be sustained over a lifetime and even less than that. However, my force of will has shown me that I am able to achieve that which I would not be able to unless I had not been absolutely relentless. In athletics, the term would be; "I wanted it more". This is an important distinction. I have been indoctrinated in many classical pursuits of thought that tend to direct me away from my actually being able to influence an outcome solely or mostly on my own. Almost every long term goal of mine is given to, of course, my best efforts but not my ability alone to forge the outcome I desire. It is in the short term that I find I can forge my will through tremendous belief. I know this is not unique to me and that all of us possess, at times, the ability and desire to forge an outcome we absolutely want. What is important though is that harnessing the knowledge that my force of will can actually affect a particular outcome, bolsters my hope for greater and better opportunities. A key to having an indomitable spirit about something is knowing how true and honest it is. My character must remain above any self will not in harmony with the better and best principles of humanity.

The evolution of the human being (#594)

It is essential to build on the foundations of our better and best achievements and concepts. We must never lose sight of where we have been and where we want to go. It is the "where we want to go" that I want to discuss today. We were not born nor do we live in a vacuum. The relative truth of time reminds us that nothing is static. Everything within our Universe is either expanding or retracting. A constant movement of some sort is always in evidence. Even our thoughts about any subject is open to new understanding and recognition. So it is with our species. The physical growth on average of humans has increased just within a few hundred years. As our society improves, so does our health and longevity. In short, we are evolving. It is amazing to be a part of this time given our history. You know, "where we have been"? It was not that many centuries ago that we treated each other as property instead of as free individual human beings. As we continue to nurture and learn as a species, our opportunities continue to increase. We are standing at the threshold of our future. As I see it there is only ourselves to hold us back. We are human, so we are both strong and weak. Strength denotes our courage, while weakness reflects our fears. I am always contending that one of the two pure natures we possess is curiosity. It is curiosity that gives us the vitality to be bold. As we stand at the threshold of our futures, we must reach deep down within ourselves and find the courage to face down fear and step into the next evolution of our human experiment.

My hope sustains me (#593)

Maybe the single most written about subject, on my blog. It is the most enduring theme of how my actions and thoughts present themselves in life. I am all about my hope. I realize that I am insignificant in the big picture of what actually does happen in life but I am fueled by the possibilities my hope engenders. As I do the things I do, hope is the catalyst and the direction. Although hope has a major role in my life it is not the only theme that motivates me. My curiosity often leads me to new understandings and different outlooks that also affect what my hope is to be. I'm constantly amazed at how I learn just by asking about something I did not know. I do not care at how I may look by asking a question. I am not interested in not knowing, I am only interested in knowing. My curiosity is unrelenting. I will probably live my last breath still trying to know something. It is who I am. However, my hope is the key to the quality of life I strive to live. By quality, let me be clear. For me, quality of life, is filled with honorable and noble intention and action. It is the higher principles of the better and best of humanity. My hope takes on other manifestations as well. Those being personal, such as love, admiration etc... My hope is all the good and great I would perceive for everyone, including myself. My hope supplies me with all the purpose in the world to be the best man I can be.

If we were Gods (#592)

I used to harbor the thought that somehow it would be shown that I was a God in training and soon everyone would come to know this about me. lol. I was much younger then and I thought I was really special. As time went on however, it became increasingly difficult to hold this concept. I began to understand that all of us are unique when we are only looking at ourselves. When we look at others we don't necessarily see all those special qualities, we have within us, in others. Furthermore, I have come to realize that all of us are flawed in many different ways which would never allow any of us to claim to be a God or God-like figure. All of this realizing on my part has been somewhat depressing, being how I had started out with such great aspirations. lol. None of us are Gods and never will be. Since I find that this is true, then really, what are we? We are human beings who have the capacity to think in God-like terms but not the capacity of actions that display constant perfection. It is a bit of a dilemma that in our minds we can create the images of perfection but are not able to put them to perfection of action. I guess the hopeful thing is that we know what it could be like to be a God and that can help us strive to be more God-like. Again though, we are still human and we need to define what our own humanity is before we try to take on the mantle of something we are not. What I do today is to be more Human-like, based on my belief that my humanity consists, in purity, of compassion and curiosity.

On the subject of joy (#591)

I rarely write on the subject of joy so today I will add to what little I have written. What is joy? It is a positive feeling inside me that puts a bounce in my step, a smile on my face and uplifting thoughts in my mind. Joy is a tonic of happiness and hopefulness. Often I find myself joyful when I have been honest and decent with those around me. Joy is the occasional byproduct of being the best person I can be. Joy also comes to me from others who display positive attributes, such as caring and helping. It is so simple a concept, joy, how to bottle it is not so simple. As I continue to learn about how to have more joy in my life, I am also learning how to live a life that produces joy. I am not blind to what is happening in the world. I know that there is continual pain and suffering beyond human endurance at times. Therefore, because of that I must continue to investigate those things in life like joy that can be alternatives to habit and convention. Our current habits and conventions are not the ultimate strategy to alleviate the lack of joy. A different perspective and behavior is going to be required. The only way for the different perspective and behavior to be identified is to learn the nature of joy and how it best comes about. The investigation continues and a worthy investigation it is.

Why do I write this blog everyday? (#590)

There are several reasons. One reason was that when I first started I would get into practice of putting something down in print everyday. I figured that if I got into the habit of writing everyday it would suit my purpose to eventually write a book. I was forcing myself to learn the consistency needed to start and finish. Another reason and probably more important to me personally is the need to say what was inside of me. I do not get many opportunities, on a daily basis, to speak my mind and my heart. I am at an age and an education level where what I have to say is honest and logical. A lot of it is still opinion but it is my opinion, which is no less wrong than right. Maybe even more right than wrong. I will leave that to the readers who happen to come upon my thoughts in print. I have given a couple of reasons why I write, but why do I write everyday? For one thing the 24 hour cycle seems to allow me the necessary time to have something new and different to write about. Why everyday? Now that is harder to answer. I guess it is because it has become habit to do so. I have said this before and now I will say it again, writing gives each day that I live some new perspective about it. Each day holds a purpose and significance. I get to be a thinking and thoughtful person every time I sit down at this laptop keyboard and screen. I get to be someone who discovers that something inside me needs or desires expression. I have days where the topic is general and superficial to a degree, and other days where the topic comes directly from my core with painful or delightful conviction. I find comfort in that I have this outlet to express.

The human clock (#589)

If the human race was to be established by time then up until now we have only clicked off a few seconds. We are at the staging point of our beginning. All the time we have spent so far getting to today has been merely a birthing. The evolution of our species is just beginning from the struggle to find our breath. We have formed reason and analysis, plus created technology. All for the purpose of launching ourselves into the great vastness we know as the Universe. All that the Earth has given us has been for nurture. We are at our starting point both physically and mentally. Our species has come to life as a force that has unlimited potential to explore and discover whatever strange new wonders that exist and that can be realized. Although our technological capabilities are still somewhat limited, we are nonetheless at the threshold of expanding our technology to unthinkable utilization. The drive and spirit of our humanity is undaunted by any perceived limitation. We take what our Earth has to offer and create new and scientifically sound innovations. The freedom to advance is all ours, we have no hindrance from without, only within. As we stand here at our jumping off point, it is appropriate to reflect on who we are and what we hope to find as we courageously accept the challenge to know and understand this existence we find ourselves bounded in.

I must get beyond myself (#588)

There are some magical things out there in the world just waiting for me to discover and be a part of. I need to participate in life on it's real terms. Although I have thoughts about what the vision could be for our humanity, I am still living here in the reality of what our humanity is now. But now is just a snapshot, then the present moves into the future. I can have an effect on the movement of the present into the future. This is where my vision of what life could be like comes into play. I just need to do my part. I must move beyond what I do for me and step into the spaces outside of my "routine". Nothing good ever just shows up at my doorstep without me having stepped outside my doorstep and mixed with other human beings. It is the living experiences that help us know each other. Experiences give us a real look at what is inside us. We can also see what is in others as well. A glance at someone tells us very little but an interaction with someone that involves thought and action gives us a better understanding of who someone is. It is easy to settle into predictable patterns of comfort. We all do it. That is fine at times and gives us time to rest and reflect. However, life really is short and not being out in life, taking in the new and different nuances of how it is being lived, does little to increase our appreciation for all that life has to offer. This is a one time deal here folks, so don't let time slip away and the regrets mount over missed opportunities to mix and mingle in what life we have left to live. As we all should know, life is no guarantee.

Here is one perspective for life (#587)

I have thought for some time now that life on Earth should be different than what it is. My rude awakening came when I had to watch my Mother cry and not know why or how to make things better. I know in my heart that feeling helpless to stop her pain wasn't what life should be about. Life shouldn't have to be sad and hurtful. Maybe it is easier to explain if I told you what life shouldn't be. It shouldn't be without compassion and curiosity. Yet what we end up with is some form of fear for the most part. Everyone afraid to lose something or not gain something. Life should be about experiences not acquisitions. Yet the reality is, it is about acquisitions hundreds times more than experiences. We all should know that the people and the places in our lives gives us the best feelings of happiness and contentedness. Yet off we go most everyday chasing the next material thing that we just have to have. There is some sense of accomplishment in knowing that we can acquire, but accomplishment is pretty hollow when compared to happiness. We have five physical senses that relate directly to experiencing. We hear, see, smell, taste and touch. The way our society is arranged keeps most of us locked in at our jobs, in our commitment to have communications and our responsibilities to family. However, as an individual who has unlimited compassion and curiosity, I wish I could just experience this world, with the senses I have been given, and any other worlds we may apply ourselves toward while I am still alive.

The best out of life (#586)

I get to be a part of something special everyday, that being my life. I set the course for how I live. I may not appreciate everything that happens in my life but I get to do everything I can to make those times better. I am the key to how I live. One of the great obstacles, for me, in life has been a complacency or a sense of being too comfortable when seeking to find a safe harbor. It is well and good to be in a place that offers security but not at the expense of my individual identity. Life should be an experience where we mature our identities throughout our lives, not a place where we settle for just surviving by abdicating our freedom to be our individual self. I cannot settle for security if it means I am to become less of who I am. That prison of security will destroy all that is good within me. I need to have the ability to stand for what I know is right despite jeopardizing whatever security I may have at the moment. What I will always carry with me in this life is my respect for my life. A dignity I get to help establish. I know who I am and because of that knowing, my path is clear. It will be on the principles of the best of what humanity has to offer, that is my goal. As I get older and find that it is more difficult to fend for myself, it is natural that I would start to think of becoming more secure. But that thought cannot be just to survive. I must continue to fight for who I am and not what I am willing to sacrifice of my identity to attain that security.

Friends and family (#585)

Occasionally I just write something about what is on my mind that makes me happy. Today is one of those days. My heart is filled with good thoughts and memories of the people in my life that have kind words and real smiles. This is how I like to live today. I am a thoughtful and helpful person now and it reflects back to me in my relationships. I say now because previously I was much too selfish and did not make myself available to others when they truly had needs. For this I am remorseful. So in order to rectify my past behavior I have developed a behavior in the present that is less selfish and more selfless. Nice play on words but what do I mean by developed? I have done a lot of soul-searching, made myself become a part of a self-help program that I now love. I have committed my time and resources, such as they may be, to acknowledging my past mistakes and reaching out when the opportunity appears. I am still the same person I have always been but the difference is that I am now a benefit to others instead of a burden. What an uplifting and healthy life I get to lead today. I understand how short life can be and that the truly important things are the way I treat my family and friends. I get it now! It doesn't matter what happens as long as I am doing what is positive and helpful. My actions are a direct reflection of how I want and need to feel inside me.

Space exploration (#584)

This subject should not come as a surprise to those who know my curious nature. I have written some on it before but I thought it was time for me to revisit the concept and it's meaning for us all. The vision we should all hold together. It is difficult for me to believe that any person would be against wanting to know what is in our Universe. When I was a child I used to enjoy turning over rocks and looking under them. Nothing has changed accept that it is our "outer space" that I want to examine. How do we as humanity get to a place where we can all take a part in exploring the vast unknown? We all need to have a vision that is greater than just existing on our Earth. I contend as a purpose for writing this blog is to forward our natures of compassion and curiosity. I also state that the denial of either of these two traits allows other manifestations of action and behavior that is detrimental to ourselves and others. In forwarding curiosity and not allowing or making a way possible for curiosity to thrive, we are stunting and decaying the human spirit. Again, we must all be able to have the vision of greater realities than just being Earth bound. Satisfying our twin natures is who we are. We are at our best when we are fully engaged in caring and wondering. A future focused on moving in and amongst the stars and beyond is where the strengths of our natures will flourish.

My imagination (#583)

I often find myself unable to say things because of conventional wisdom, law, custom and moray deem where, why, when, to whom, what and how I may say things, inappropriate. This is fine with me because when we have boundaries and guidelines for appropriate speech, we are all able to communicate in a civil and understandable way. But in my mind, through my imagination and freedom to think anything, the creative thoughts are abundant. I don't need to make sense of anything when I am free-associating. It is sometimes like a cartoon with no plot or reasoning. I had always hoped that somehow a process for recording my own imaginative thoughts to a video would be possible. Talk about cheap entertainment! lol. It is my escape from reality. I get to run in the land of my imagination to help me find what I like about myself and others. I have a real good "forgetter", and as such, I need to be reminded occasionally so that I don't fall into to the peaks and valleys of mood swings. My imagination serves as a form of therapy to help keep myself grounded. Seems illogical, but being creative balances out my logical side. It makes me more human and in touch with life in a way that reminds me to feel what sensations are interacting inside me. My imagination gives me a place to allow the crazy and confusing within me, a home to find purpose and fun.

Never compromise on love (#582)

No gift in life is greater than to feel love inside oneself for another. Fancy, wild and crazy good may compete in some short term way but soon wither away over time. The illusion that there is something greater than love has survived through time but not through truth. I am only one man and I have only my experience to draw from, however, nothing like love within me has ever been challenged by anything else. Maybe I need more challenges? Could be, but so far nothing has given me such comfort and peace as the feeling of love within me for someone else. I am such a person today that I know in my soul that having the gut-stirring kind of love is a gift from outside of me, to me. I choose to think it is spiritually ordained to me so that I may care for it. It is a gift that, regardless of ever being responded to by another person, will forever fill me with it's perfectness. I have no other way of describing, having a love for someone, than to say it is a manifestation of the perfect. It is the dream place where nothing but the warm rays of sunshine and beauty exist. I know that for the longer part of my life I was without a, being in love, for anyone. In that time I was truly lonely not knowing what anything's purpose was. Now because of love, life's purpose is to never let love leave my life. Nor compromise it away for something close or similar. The gift of love is as it should be, not an asset to be manipulated, but a reason to die for if necessary in order to keep.

We need to offer hope! (#581)

Why? This is why. I have always been in need of a vision for my life. When I was first starting out in grammar school I wanted to learn because I did not understand. Once I understood, I needed another goal. I became more interested in learning beyond basic knowledge, but I noticed others in my classes who did not share the same desire I had. It was as if the light had gone out in their eyes. They were content to accept what they had as opposed to wanting more. I look back on these memories and I have come to the conclusion that they had no great hope or dream they wanted to accomplish. They did not have the mystery of the unknown as a personal challenge. In my mind and soul I know that we are all capable of being great human beings with the ability, when determined to show it, to formulate new understandings and/or create new innovations. All of us have this ability within us. How do we tap this potential? We need to have a hope or dream to offer every child that is tangible and possible. Education, must be the start of how we do this. It should be the foundation of every teacher to instill and convince every child that they are a miracle and what their life can be about can be a miracle to everyone else. Before the teaching of knowledge begins the belief that every child knows the truth, that they are exceptional and unique, must have been firmly established. Hope is the great motivator!

A helping hand (#580)

What a comfort it is to be at peace within oneself. It is as if nothing that happens around me can change how content I feel inside. It is what I needed to accomplish. How I have done this is with the understanding of my true nature, compassion and curiosity. I am not confused about who and what I am. From this point, I can now reach out beyond myself from a firm foundation that cannot be torn apart by the chaos and uncertainty of life outside my own skin. I am well served by the calmness in my life for it allows me to express my compassion and curiosity in ways, that not only benefit me as a giver but, to those who would receive the best intentioned gifts I have to offer. I truly can be a helping hand to those who would gladly receive. I find that this is the greatest form of interaction I can achieve. I am also sufficiently humble to accept gifts from others when they offer me the same courtesy. The power of the mind and heart working in conjunction is a higher calling all of us may attain. I could not do this however, until I found myself first. I was not angry like I acted at times, I was confused. It took a long road for me to find out that the little boy inside me, who saw only the good in life, never left. He was just waiting for me to come back from my long journey I needed to take in order to find my perspective. I needed to realize through success and failure just how unimportant fantasies really are so that I could appreciate the reality of who I am and what I do best.

Curiosity is the key (#579)

This natural instinct is my most awe inspiring. Compassion gives me a feeling of wholeness while curiosity stimulates my need to know. I was born on this planet with no foreknowledge of where I was or what I was doing here. I was nurtured by my family and taught knowledge as I grew. I am here at the age I am and I still do not know for certain why I am here or the purpose for my life. I have conjectures about the Universe I live in and I mostly guess that my purpose is to know all I can. I get there, (about knowing all I can), by my unquenchable desire to continue to ask questions and seek answers. I have no other conclusion that is logical instead of the process of my nature being my purpose. Maybe something in the future will be revealed about the significance of my being in this existence. For now though, I am left with more questions than answers. My Mother would tell me my purpose is to commune with God. It is a scenario. I have this need to question everything within the Universe and hopefully everything that is without the Universe. Trippy huh? Such is the inner workings of my thoughts. Nothing is taken for granted and nothing is assumed. If ever someone was born into an existence with no knowledge of it and had a nature to want to know everything he can then, for me, I was born into the right place.

Sobriety as a choice (#578)

Life is hard enough without me complicating it without good reason. Forming and keeping a relationship is difficult but the alternative of having no relationship is even worse. Some choices in our lives by definition are both necessary and difficult. They can't be avoided. Staying sober and away from the influence of any mind disorienting substance is a choice I can make. When I was younger I would have said that being under the influence of most any substance was a necessity and a smart decision. A sort of relief from the constant chaos of society. A relief, however, implies that I am being subjugated to a struggling existence incapable of being improved. What I found is that the chaos of my life was something I could deal with and ultimately change. But not until I gave up the crutch of altering my reality. As I became sober and aware of my deficiencies, I also started to see solutions that when applied would, over time, solve my problems. One solved problem at a time, through consistency of purpose, my life began to become bearable. I also noticed that others noticed as well. I was starting to become a member of my community through shared interests. Being honest about my shortcomings, surprisingly, was not a big deal to like-minded individuals. I am able today to have thoughts about our present and future that actually help to improve life instead of hiding from life. My sobriety is the best reality to have happened to me.

Why compassion and curiosity? (#577)

How did I come to this understanding of my twin natures? Through the process of action. I acted on what was right within me. In my original innocence, my young youth, I was only able to process what was going on. I had no method or structure for evaluating beyond what memories I was storing. There was learned behavior that was based on emotion. How I felt about what was going on and how I was to act within my observations. To feel, was what was most important to me. I did not want to cry! I wanted to feel happy! I found happiness in caring through love. As to my other nature, there is no doubt within me that all I wanted to do, besides feel right inside me through caring, was learning or knowing everything I could. I was that child who was always asking "why". But why, but why, I discovered that the question why always took me to another question of why. If you think it is any different over 50 years later you would be mistaken. There is so much left out there that is unknown. That is how I know that our species is just in the beginning of our existence. There are too many questions that have yet to be asked and answered. There is also a nature I don't categorize with either compassion or curiosity, although it is ingrained in both. That being the will to survive. This separate, but singular anomaly is a shared nature and most intriguing, simply because it signifies, individually, how imperative it is for us to continue to exist.

Knowing Yourself (#576)

This is how I know myself. I imagine a perfect world. Then I see myself within it. What am I doing in this perfect world? How does it make me feel? Everything about me wants to be surrounded by perfection. I do not wish to be a God, I wish to live my life where we all have equality with no negatives. Through this exercise I know who I am. My spirit, my soul, my emotion and my mind all strive for the best of what could be for us all. What I must do now is incorporate who I am into a world that is far from perfect. The character of who I am is now up to me to express. What motivation or will power will I display? In what context will it be displayed? I have moved from learning who I am to practicing who I am. How I live now is my daily adventure, as opposed to wondering who I am. The satisfaction of knowing who I am brings with it a comfort. I am not confused about life now because I actually see through all the chaos. I want to help build this reality into a better reality. It is my purpose for being alive. I am not just some accident or serendipitous event. I am here in this existence to help it become a better existence. Now that may sound a bit arrogant, but it isn't my intent. My intent is to take this gift of life, that I have for now, and do everything I can to make it better. I am only moving forward and putting into practice the knowledge I have of who I am.

What is true? (#575)

Let me try to cover this in around 250 words. What is true? We know reality is true. We may not like what reality is, but nonetheless, it's truth is evident to all. I like to think of truth as good, but we know that truth can be bad as well. I do not like truth when it is bad. Although, what I like does not matter because truth will be whatever it is regardless of how anyone "feels". I have to live in this world with everyone else and accept the good truth right along with the bad truth. What I try to do though is not consciously create any reality of bad truth. What everyone else decides to do is up to them to decide. There is another kind of true that has to do with our thoughts on this world and any world that may exist in eternity. What is commonly called a belief system, or a variation of a belief system. What may be true to some about belief systems can also not be true to others who don't hold with a belief system. Therefore true, may be determined by individual perspective. So, in theory, two people looking at the same thing may see two different outlooks. One sees truth and the other does not see truth. I respect both points of thought. I am therefore, of the opinion that true really does derive it's definition from each individual person. That makes sense and is how it should be. Despite what truth we see or live, we are still only individuals with responsibility over only ourselves. Finding respect for everyone to know their own truth is how life should be lived.

Follow your dreams (#574)

Whatever it is that you want to do then try to make it happen. I am speaking of personal goals that have evaded you. I know that the actions needed to accomplish responsibilities leaves little time for pursuing personal goals. But the point of having these goals is to know a sense of satisfaction. It is a way of showing yourself that you are capable of setting out and accomplishing something important to you. time is our great enemy. The days slip by and before you know it years are behind us. Whenever we can be reminded to think of our personal goals it is worth remembering. The impetus to start will eventually come and in that we will start to see the rewards of our efforts. Life is not supposed to be about comfort. Some of life, yes, but not as an end result. We should have a level of uncomfortableness about us that will help to keep our edges honed and our eye on the ball. Following your dreams requires an effort of some proportion. They would not be dreams if they were easy, otherwise they would already be reality. What makes us different from each other is our motivation and will power to attain despite obstacle or even moments of hopelessness. Our characters are built upon the desire of our souls. If we would just take the time to fulfill our own hopes and dreams we then become greater examples to others, who must also endure struggling to accomplish their dreams and hopes as well.

The necessity of community (#573)

Some of us enjoy being alone most of the time to care for things that are more personal to us individually. But most of the time is not all of the time. It is at these other times that I have a real need to be in the company of other people. We are all different and have different viewpoints. We also have some things in common. It is with people I have things in common that I seem to spend more of my time. Especially when that commonality is a desire to improve our lives by sharing our experiences. It took me many years to finally figure out that I wanted to be a part of something where the good in life is the goal. When I was finally able to see that only trying to make my reality better was not inclusive of others. For the good in life to happen, I need to work for the good in all of our lives. People can tell who is selfish and who is not. Everyone pretty much has a bullpucky meter and we all know how to use it. Honesty is the key. There are many levels of honesty and using the appropriate level is a learned experience. We can only get that through our gathering as a community. We help and teach each other how best to effect the good for us. We need each other to better ourselves and those affected by us. The importance of community can never be over-valued. Personally, I have much I want to do as an individual but I never forget that what I do as an individual is shaped by what I do as a member of my community.

The maintenance of innocence (#572)

I do not wonder why there are so many troubles in the world. I know why. When I was a young child everything seemed possible, everyone was bright and wise. Then I started to feel the hurt and disappointment within reality. My very first concepts of our world however were based on a wonderful idea. That life was happy and people all cared for each other. It was probably true for me given that I am sure I was shielded from the worst of our manifestations and I am sure also that I was confused by those things that I did not understand. As time went on though I began to see that our society was not all give and share. I began to have to come to grips with how we really were to each other, not always kind and caring. It was hard on me to have to accept that we were not what we should be, according to what I first thought when I was very young. This is why I write this blog. My assertion is that we have two inherent natures; caring for each other, which I call compassion, and wondering about what life is, which I call curiosity. Compassion and curiosity, the two halves of the whole, who we are. When, like when I was young and began to feel hurt and disappointment, what was really happening was that compassion and curiosity, one or both, were being denied. That is when other, baser actions, filled the void where compassion and curiosity should have been. My innocence is still within me, it is just being clouded out by the hurt and disappointment that seems to fill or lives where it shouldn't. It is my duty to myself and everyone else to live in only compassion and curiosity.

I still have my hope (#571)

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you were willing to wait for it. That is how my hope works today. I keep the perspective that I don't deserve anything or that it won't change me if it ever comes to me. I am just happy that I have hope and the expectation that comes with it. It may never come to fruition but it is my hope and that makes me feel good. Everything is out of my control that is beyond me. But if I am ready for what I hope for to actually happen then It may just happen. If I give up hope and it happens, it may slip away from me because I am not ready to receive it. My hope is a gift to me. It makes me feel good inside. It is the greatest expectation I can experience. The value I place on what matters to me is indicative of the value I place on my principles for living. A hope is real. it may not be tangible but it has essence. It is a lot like my soul in that there is a constitution to it. My heart and my imagination are both linked inexorably to what I hope for. My hope is a culmination of how and what I see life can or could be. My hope is just as worthy to defend as any principle. My hope.

Words and their meanings (#570)

Even this morning I caught myself unable to sufficiently describe a point I was trying to make. My choice of words left too many opportunities for different interpretations. It is not that I try to leave ambiguous comments out there. It is just that at times in my haste, I don't pause long enough to consider what may else be construed from my choice of words. It is bad enough that most of us do not communicate by using proper sentences, it is also worse when we speak to each other orally. The fad of the day when I was growing up was to use slang and "hip" words to describe our feelings or our knowledge of particular topics. This has come back to plague me in some ways since I still find myself reverting back to some slang expressions. I am not saying that this is the only way I am deficient in communicating, but one of many. Most notorious is the the non-specific generalizations I use when I should be perfectly clear. I am guilty of trying to be poetic or clever instead being zeroed in on my point. I am also guilty of using cliche's and metaphors instead of speaking directly to what subject I am discussing. It is like it is easier for me when I can talk around a subject instead of being subjected to an uncomfortableness of speaking directly to an unsettling problem. I am still a work in progress and need to, myself, explain my thoughts with my own directly honest words.

The greatest gift I can give is my love (#569)

I can give thoughts on some temporary situation to make it better. I can pull what little money I have out of my pocket and give it to some needy situation. I can give blood or an organ to donation to keep someone healthy or alive. There are many ways I can do things that help others, but none of it, except under duress or coercion, would happen if I did not have love to give from my heart. Everything that makes me responsive to life in any good way is because I allow myself to love others. I do not suppress the gift of love I have within me. I know that I am no saint, not even close. I struggle sometimes with how much of the appearance of my love I must withdraw from some. When I am being used or abused I cannot continue to enable that kind of behavior without explaining to them the reason I have for curtailing my expressions of love for them. If the behavior continues then I must still love them but from a distance. I was inculcated that being a man required me to be tough and strong and not show emotion. I lived like that for a long time. I also noticed that emotion was not being shown back to me. I did not like that. I had to break out of that macho style. I finally realized that it was not about what I was taught to do, as some traditions, but it is more about what I think to do, that is what is important. I now proudly and honorably defend my right to show my love for others through the actions of my life. How satisfying!

The importance of having your own original thought (#568)

This post is in response to so many comments from all types of media that I read. Almost every time I read some point of view on a topic of current discussion, invariably someone uses a "quote" from some historical figure or some current figure using a "quote" from some historical figure. I imagine in the mind of the writer that the "quote" solidifies or fortifies the point they are trying to make. The problem that arises most often is that the "quote" ends up being the basis of the conclusion in the article. Yellow journalism is an idea of sensationalizing news content to help draw interest to it, therefore increase sales. It seems that finding a "quote" that will help promote one's point of view, of one's argument, is the current fad. I am less likely to believe anything I read that has some "quote" conveniently inserted to bolster claims. It is as if we quit thinking for ourselves and let others' thoughts think for us. We need to use our own original thought in context with what we are trying to communicate. Rarely does a "quote" have the same meaning when applied to different situations. Trying to shoehorn a "quote" into a point of view is shameless and devious. It tells me that for all the passion a writer may feel about a subject he/she is less informed about it and is using a shortcut to hide that fact. All of us should be creating our own "quotes" through the process of having a commanding knowledge of the subject matter we are trying to forward.

Marking milestones (#567)

It is good to stop occasionally and reflect on what has happened in the past. Today is one those days that I get the privilege to remember my parents, family and friends. I also get to look back at my own life and judge what has been happening with it. I am of an age now where all the activity of my life has become very important. I feel that my time is much too valuable to me to waste on things of little or no consequence. All my time must matter. As I look back on what I have been doing I am happy enough with the progress I am making to glean from my life those incomplete and inconsequential activities that used to fill my days. I have real purpose moving through my activities and that is pleasing. It is never enough but that is just me motivating me to greater achievement. I know that I am not doing anything that is above and beyond anything anyone else is doing but what I do is positive and can be built upon. There are areas of my life that are still being resistant to positive change and I will continue to struggle to correct that. They may seem small and insignificant but then again nothing really is small and insignificant. Every second and every action is important. In reflecting back upon myself, my friends and family I get to stop time in it's tracks for just a moment or two and analyze how I am living. Today's look back so far has me feeling good about who I am and where I am going with me.

I am privileged to be human (#566)

Through all the cosmic dust trails that led me to being born on Earth as a human being, I am humbled. The odds of me being in existence with a human form must be beyond imagination. As such, to veer off subject, there must be some control somewhere, somehow, someway. But that will be for another time. This time is for the miracle of my being here. I have heard that humility is "overrated". when I saw this in response to something I wrote, I was reminded of my youth when no amount of logic could persuade me from my omniscient understandings. Haha. So, after reading that humility is overrated, I smiled and thought back to my own misunderstandings of how I was so special and therefore worthy of every praise and tribute. As time went by however, it became apparent to me that all of us are special and worthy of all praise and tribute. By now I had become more familiar and understanding of how logic works. Logic then dictated to me that special is not what I was but ordinary like everyone else. In fact, not even ordinary like everyone else but less so because of the huge ego I still carried around about my significance. Today I have come to say that the ego is smaller than a grain of sand and just as insignificant as well. It is a miracle that I am alive living in this existence where I get to experience all five of my senses, some are not so lucky, and stand up for the rights of all humans to be the miracle we are.

The importance of memories (#565)

I am glad that I can remember the things that have happened in my life. Not all my memories are positive but most all are. When I think back on the times in my life where happiness was vivid, I am reminded that those times were special. For all the living I have done so far the happy times seem to have only taken up a small amount of my life. I suppose this is why I am glad I can still remember those times. My memories, although not all happy have mostly been positive and educational. They serve to reflect back to me what I have found to be important. Life should not be so hard. It should have it's struggles but not to the point of deflating us to the point of despair. Life should be positive and full of opportunity. We always need to strive for what we want or need but the striving should be a positive thing, where the only obstacles we encounter are our own effort. So much of my life has been just maintaining my existence. This is good but not what it could be. There is so much more inside of me besides just staying alive. I will continue to build experiences that will hopefully add to the bank of memories that are the most enjoyable, happy ones. As to the striving for new and different hopes and dreams, I will redouble my efforts to overcome some of the institutional obstacles, we have built within our society, that seem to deny hopes despite any amount of striving expended. My memories will help guide me to continue to improve what life I have yet to live.

What duty do I owe humanity? (#564)

What is my part. I am not a god, thankfully I know this. I am not any more special than any other human, this is harder to admit but nonetheless true. It seems my ego is battling me for reality. lol. However the battle is lost and the ego is diminishing. Still I am left with what is my duty to humanity? Personally, without including anyone else, my duty to humanity is to be the best human I can be. That is my take on it. What then is the best human I can be and how does that look to others? Well, again for me, the best human I can be is an honest, caring, principled in virtue, man of action that reflects those qualities with intent. Courage, for me, is the willingness to stand behind and defend with all that I have that which I would advocate to you. If I am not 100% behind my words and actions then I am not going to convince anyone or myself that I am fulfilling a noble duty. I will continue to premise my comments about how I would do things so as not to imply I know what you should do. For me, there are inequities that I see that torture my soul. For me to turn a blind eye to this and focus only on myself is dastardly and much less than honorable. I do owe a duty to humanity that extends beyond my own personal desires. I know that this post is idealistic and hardly practical given the hustle and bustle of everyday life. What really is important though, my duty to you, should rise above any other argument I, or others, may employ to distract me from doing what in my heart and mind I know to be of greater service to humanity.

The unity within us (#563)

Our individual characteristics serve dual purposes. They define us as unique as well as define us in commonality. My contention is that we all start from the premise of compassion and curiosity. From there we diverge from each other encompassing the minutiae of our different experiences and understandings. A common thread is always with us nonetheless. Our hearts and minds recognize that overall we are forever linked as family. We are humans. We share the creation as a particular being. We have other life forms around us in the form of plants and other types of animals, but as humans we are alone in our existence, in and on this world. The one inescapable reality we are all confronted with is that a Universe completely enclosing our world exists all around us. We are trapped inside something that we know very little about. However, as I have postulated, we are curious. Our curiosity is what will move us out into the vast unknown. It is within our human nature to want to know, so know we will. In the wanting to know we will unite in a destiny of purpose that will expose our bonds to each other. The putting-aside of our differences in order to unite is our greatest obstacle or achievement. Fate and history will determine that outcome. I tend toward achievement. We are survivors and we adapt to whatever we need to do to achieve. It is our history so far.

Free to be me (#562)

Put aside all the trappings of opinion, belief and bias. Ha! Not so easy to do but once in awhile it happens. When the only thing I carry around with me is a hello and a smile. Life does not always have to be so serious. Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing I even cared to think about was if or how much food I was going to eat. We had a family gathering that brought many together in one place for a peaceful relaxing sit-down of conversation and happy recollection. A time out of sorts from the whatever paced life we normally lead on a day to day basis. A little reminder of how life can look when everyone's concerted effort to bring a positive and welcoming atmosphere is non-stop. It is days like yesterday that I will bring up in my mind when I next think of the individuals I shared that day with. The key was that everyone put out an effort to be just themselves in a way that showed their best qualities. I have felt for some time now that when I try to or make a real effort to live in my better and best qualities, life can have it's best meanings for me. The contentment I strive to feel in my soul is best exemplified when I quit thinking about myself and instead think of everyone else. Free to be me is a purposeful selflessness, a pathway to truly finding myself. Somewhat an oxymoron, but nonetheless true.

Diversity is unique (#561)

What a privilege it is to live in existence. What I mean specifically is that the variety of life forms and the individualness of humanity makes for an interesting, interacting society. My view is that I am a guest here on Earth and along with all the other guests we get to enjoy being alive and learning our environment. I realize that my "lens" is simplistic but regardless it is pure. How I live my life is dependent on many factors that can influence what decisions I get to make. However, the decisions are ultimately mine. I like the child's definition of "I am the boss of me." This brings me to why I am addressing this subject. What I allow myself to think and say is ultimately my perspective. I have had to fight through the acculturation of prejudice based upon factors of heredity and morays. I was able to see beyond my early limited view to an appreciation of all life, including my own. The less I think about how I think and feel and the more I think about how others think and feel, has been the key to my growth. Diversity of life forms is now to me a unique privilege to enjoy. If we were all the same how disinteresting would that quickly become. I do believe that our Universe within and without has some purpose and I do not know what that is. However I will partake of it with the joy and wonder of the newborn child I once was.

A higher standard (#560)

No sacrifice required. Funny how that is today when all I could think was how come I have to and not those other people. I used to hear, Carl, you are not those other people! I could not see that as a logical answer to my question. What was I thinking then? I must have been in some place in my head where logic was illogical. I have quit trying to be the my own judge and jury and have found a way to live where I am only the passenger Carl, in the metaphorical car. I have come to realize that having things work out for the best for me is not what I need. I need things to work out for the best for everyone. It has always been for me, as well as I assume most everyone else, to grow up to be a wise person. Someone who could help others see new concepts and grow into life with insight. I had forgotten that for a time and just tried to live life to experience what I desired. I lost track of my lifelong hope of being humble and helpful. Yes, humble and helpful leads me on a path to wisdom. I am still filtering out my useless desires obtained over a lifetime but they are becoming fewer and fewer. Hopefully I will reach a plane where my standard of living is easily recognizable by myself and others around me. I just want to be a good person who can help others find the goodness in themselves. I can never say this enough, life is too short and much needs to be done in my life. I need to spend all my time on putting to action a principled life that exemplifies my ideals.

Doing my best is good enough (#559)

When I have finished with doing all I can do and it isn't enough I often feel like I am not good enough. That is wrong thinking on my part. I have these great expectations for myself and they are almost impossible to live up to. I know this yet I still feel a let-down when I fail to achieve them. It is my nature I suppose, that whatever I can see in my mind happening should be able to be accomplished by me. I know this is not a reality I can control, but nonetheless it is my force of nature to expect it from myself. I love the fact that I am so driven to make what good in the world I can regardless of whether it is possible or not. It is this redeeming quality that I have that makes me feel a sense of disappointment and frustration at times. I am so predictable in that I hate fear, suffering and misery. Doing all I can do with what I have at the time it is needed is good enough. The outcome will most always be less than what I hope it to be but the outcome will at least have felt my attempt. I continue to strive to be a better person who can contribute even more to our existence. I will never be satisfied with not growing into someone more capable of better things. But as each snapshot in time reveals to me I am not done improving until I have no more breaths left. I am content however that I continue to care to be at least good enough.

Family is where your heart is (#558)

The feeling is the same no matter where I am. I have a group of friends I see a lot of and when I am around them I know I am home. It is a feeling I get of familiarity, honesty and caring that we express toward each other. The same is true with my family. I am getting ready to go visit a group of my family that I rarely get to spend time with. Distance has kept us apart but not much longer. Even if only for a few days it will last me a long time. What I am trying to express is that family is more than marriages, births and deaths, it is a feeling. It is a desire to share experiences with and laugh and talk and go places or just to be in one place all together. Families are also dysfunctional, just like my friendships but I try never to let circumstances get in the way of my great hope for us all to have the best in life. Whatever that may be to each of us. Whether friend or family, there is a bond that we try to respect. We share a heritage that is greater than any one of us individually. There is also the excitement surrounding a gathering. The unexpected fun, stories and general goofiness that is allowed because we can be ourselves. Although, for me, family is a feeling, it is also a state of mind bound by a commitment to each of us. The subconscious knowledge that we are loved just because, is at the foundation of what family represents.

My understanding of spirituality (#557)

I have come to a place in my life where I know that a greater force than I exists. I am not talking about a large person or elephants or larger creatures than myself. I am talking about a force within and without the Universe who has created all of which I know and never will know. My logic, common sense and gut lead me to this. For me there is no form or definition that I can give to explain my understanding. I can talk around the edges but not directly as to this force's absolute nature. Most every human being in existence, past and present, understands the concept of God. Many varieties and explanations are currently available to help in finding one's way to a God. I cannot tell anyone else what and who to believe in as it relates to the "right" God. That is for each individual to find for themselves. I only know what is personal to me and that is what I have arrived at. My contention that the two traits of human nature, compassion and curiosity, which define me, are directly given to me through my spirituality. It is my purpose then to live my life with these gifts in full evidence. It is somewhat sad that I had to get where I am now to be able to have this clarity but I will take what is. It is magnificent that I do now know what is important to me and I can give my the rest of my life full effort to fulfilling what my spirituality has revealed. I am not it, something greater than me is.

What I know about life (#556)

Some very basic things come to mind. I know that no one deserves anything unless they are willing to give it away. We are all special and are worthy of being alive. What we do with our lives defines who we are. Not what we think necessarily but what we do with those thoughts. My take is that life gives us opportunities to define who we are. What is really important is to first know who we are. Well, here is the crash course for all of us. We care and we wonder. Simple. Other things want to come into our minds to try to define us but those things are actions or thoughts that have lead us to this point. Let them go and get ready to start our new day being the caring and curious person we are for the rest of your life. Next, do only things that have a positive effect for everyone or most everyone. So before we act we must think about the consequences of our actions. We are the only one who we can work to make better every single moment. Our individual life is our responsibility above and beyond anything else. Next comes what we can do for others. Remember, it is always better, as a rule, to be selfless than it is to be selfish. This is a great guide. The real prizes in life are not necessarily material, although some necessities are real prizes, but the feelings we have within us when we effect a positive outcome to a problem. Self-satisfaction can be good when the solution is for someone else. Some important things I know about life.

The strength to be vulnerable (#555)

Somewhat of an oxymoron. How is it strong to be open to trusting? I will say this, I have had to summon my courage up when I have left myself vulnerable. In all fairness, when I have done this it usually is that some reward might be achieved by putting my trust out beyond myself. The greatest example is with love between a man and a woman. One has to become vulnerable for the other to do the same. That is the payoff in that scenario. If however, there is no reciprocation then having been vulnerable leaves a very bad feeling. Almost so that one would not ever want to trust being vulnerable again. I know this feeling well. However, it is wrong to do so. Just because a bad feeling has come about through being vulnerable does not mean that eventually a good feeling will finally arrive for having been vulnerable. Like all things where there is risk, being prepared for the unexpected is wise. My life up to this point has been a lot of hit and miss. The hits have been small in comparison to the misses but I will continue to allow myself to reach for things beyond me. I do not know when things will happen but if I discontinue allowing myself to be vulnerable I will definitely miss out on them. I have had to learn how to harden myself to disappointment but not so that I would quit. I must remain strong in my conviction that being open and vulnerable is the best way for me to show the kind of man I am.

No matter what have fun (#554)

Having fun with whatever is around you is vital. It helps keep your sense of perspective. I know this sounds off-kilter but it isn't. Even in death, when things seem impossible to handle because of intense loss, having the right thought about what life is, helps us get through the pain. I have said this so many times, life is a gift. We must appreciate and enjoy it. It is not endless and therefore requires us to think about how to have as much fun as possible. It is difficult when aspects of society treat us unfairly but again, what is the point of life without having fun. I have to be serious at times to help make our world better, but better is another reason to have fun. Anyway I look at life I always come back to it just has to be fun. My viewpoint is optimistic, not doom and gloom. I don't want to have anything negative in my life. This is an example I can actually reflect back out to others. It is a control I have that I can affect. We will only get better as a people and as a society when we are able to know what we are and where we are going. The future is amazing. We have come so far with technology, human interaction and faith that we are decent good people just trying to live with all the best we can find. I am so hopeful that we are moving in the right direction and wish to add to that movement. While I am adding, to moving in the right direction, I am also having as much fun as I can

Communication is the key (#553)

I have lived both ways. I have been quiet and not offered to talk about what is going on with me and I have opened up and let other people know what is going on in my life. Being closed up and not open about my life eventually left me feeling lonely and discouraged. My life got a lot less complicated but it also got a lot less fulfilling. I am now fully in the camp of sharing my life with others, generally and in detail, when appropriate. It is amazing the things we have in common and the support we can give one another when we know in real time what is happening around us. I used to think that making myself available to people would just bring chaos and drama. Occasionally some chaos and drama appears but only in very manageable ways. More the case is the feeling I have of being a part of life and having a positive influence on circumstances. I look forward to meeting like-minded souls who also wish to share their lives with me as much as I do with them. Life just seems to offer more solutions to problems when more helpful people are involved. The only way I could get to this point was to open up myself and trust others like they would like to be trusted. In most cases people hope for people who will trust them and they like returning trust where it is offered. When I say hello, smile or shake some one's hand I have another chance to make the world around me a better place. It all starts with the act of communicating.

Rites of passage (#552)

What are these things we call rites? They are growth experiences. They are the circumstances that allow us to gain perspective. Often moving from the simple to the complex. When we gain these understandings we have elevated our view of life in general. Rites of passage can be described as maturity. These are good things and allow for our generations to move steadily forward into the existing unknown. Rites of passage come in many forms. Formal education, completion of social and religious traditions and simple/complex life experiences. Rites of passage are important because when we are born we have no perfect guideline for living. Through rites of passage we assimilate ourselves into generally accepted practices within our society. Rites of passage are not perfect either but they do help us maintain some order in our otherwise chaotic lives. There can be great debates as to the importance and efficacy of rites of passage and whether they actually serve us well. I think they do in the sense that some order is better than no order. A default position at best but we are still in our infancy as to the timeline of human evolution. For now a rites of passage gives us greater hope of keeping our society together with the hope that time will allow us to evolve into a society that is less institutional in it's application of conformity and more into a society that has unlimited possibilities for it's individualness. Even so, some form of rites of passage will still be present.

This grand experiment (#551)

I catch myself shaking my fist at the Universe and I catch myself smiling because of some nice thing that has happened. It seems that most of life is lived somewhere within these boundaries. The edge on my emotion is still sharp, however how I act on them is now tempered. I have found an equilibrium between my expressed actions and my emotional feelings which keeps me focused on what is in front of me instead of why something has happened. A maturity of sorts. Life is an odd thing. So many complexities mixed with many more simplicities. This whirligig of circumstances and possibilities is never-ending. I am so happy that I found myself within this existence. It has been worth every second whether I live a long life or not. If life were a big box of cracker jacks, then I would say that I have found the prize within. Happiness! Whatever must be done to have happiness as the greatest reality possible. All things should come back to this bottom line. It should not be just my happiness I strive for but all of our happiness together. I am one of the "Idealists" who is willing to say this out loud and stand and defend my right to think in ideal terms. Realistically, I know that it is not yet possible to have all things in the ideal. But, as to my motivation, that I am an idealist, will never change. I am tired of and ready to never again have to shake my fist at the Universe.

Truth must overcome fear (#550)

What is the great battle of our time? Fighting for the truth. The notion, policy, assumption, conviction, however it is justified, that some things are better off not known is incorrect. Let me first explain that as humans, we have a survival instinct that allows us to adapt to whatever threat there is to us in order to persevere. There is no truth out there that we cannot overcome and move forward from. It is in our best interests for us to have all the known facts in order for us to assimilate honest solutions. The idea that we need to be "cared-for" by those who are our leaders is a false idea. It assumes we are unable to handle reality and therefore must be kept in the dark about some sensitive issues. This approach is arrogant and egoistical on the part of those who misguide or lie to us. I am sure that some of the concern is honest intent to protect us from ourselves, but no one has that right to take truth from us. The effect of truth in all of our affairs is to arrive at justice. Life is not easy and can be very hard, regardless, no truth is better off left in the dark. No matter what consequence is perceived by those who are doing the hiding. Funny thing about perceived consequences, they are only possibilities not facts. If the trade off is to protect us from some truth and allowing a false reality to exist to protect us, I say bring on the truth and let us grow from it, not something that is an illusion. Never be afraid of the truth. Let us all learn the lesson of courage.

Respecting each other (#549)

We are human, so we make mistakes. We live in a fast paced world and it is easy to be insensitive without even thinking about it. All of our actions have a consequence. Our conscious must be in focus without fail. The reason I say this is because how we treat and are treated by others is personal to each of us. If I am going to exercise my right to be an individual, I must take on the responsibility that comes with it. The days of thinking that, regardless of the consequence of our actions, we are immune to how others are affected has passed. We are all interconnected. Like the scientific axiom, every action has an inverse and equal reaction. I would like to think that if more thought was given to just being courteous to each other a mountain of hurt feelings and guilt would not exist. What really is important in our lives? Can we distinguish our own desires from their effect on others? Simple questions, hard answers. It is what we must do if we are to have quality of relationships in our lives. I have found that it is in the relationships I have, and am continuing to form, that I find true success. My ability to take into account what effect I am having on others is one of my highest priorities. The quality of the life experience can be influenced by me and I choose to make as much of it a quality experience as possible.

Intelligence is only halfway to wisdom (#548)

I have heard this enough times to want to put some definition to it. All this IQ measuring is well and good but does not get anyone to wisdom. It is one thing to know a lot of facts and logic. It is another thing to put that knowledge to good common sense. When I was younger it occurred to me that to be very focused on learning letters and numbers was good but no better than knowing how to apply them in smart ways. Intelligence and common sense. We know how to get intelligence, namely by studying and being teachable. How does one "get" common sense? Common sense is understanding life in motion. Experiencing life is the usual manner, however some have shown an ability to observe others and learn through their interactions with life. For most of us though it is being in different circumstances to gather perspective as much as possible. There is also a "gut" feeling or "intuition" that is felt and if listened to can be a useful concept toward acting in wisdom. The main point I am trying to convey is that a balance between knowledge and common sense will serve me in my hope to display wisdom when I am called upon to do so. Wisdom should be our goal. The beauty and strength displayed when wisdom is revealed is sublime. It does not happen enough in my life for me, but it is my hope to achieve greater understanding in the hopes of being a wiser person.

The wind at my face (#547)

I would prefer that the wind be coming at my back to help carry me forward, but such is usually not my fate. It seems that I am mostly pushing forward into the wind. I am using the wind as a metaphor to illustrate how I am living my life. It is real that I am born during the early stages of human experience. There are millenniums behind me but they are characterized by mostly tumultuous and barbaric histories. The more enlightened experience of humanity is only centuries old and I suspect that there will be millenniums ahead where life should be characterized by our better natures instead of our worst. So, knowing that life is still evolving as to how we live it, there is much work still to do and moving forward is the path. It is hard to break out of paradigms that are comfortable and easily enough endured. However, progress toward greater life experiences than what we now enjoy is hard and sacrificing work. I can only speak for myself. I want to do everything I can to move the evolution of the human experience along for the sake of preserving humanity. The walking against the wind analogy is the struggle to improve how we all experience life. I have no other intent than to be a part of something special. Our current generation has opportunities to effect future behaviors and experiences. To not do something to continue to change and upgrade our society, as society continues to mature, is unthinkable to me. This is my position and not an indictment of anyone else. It is a peek into the window of my soul. I just thought I would open myself up to the light of examination.

The importance of family (#546)

I am smiling just thinking about how I could not wait to get out on my own and live my life. As a young man I was so eager to separate myself from my parents and siblings because I wanted to experience the world on my own terms. Free from the prying eyes and advice I was used to having around me. I remember the feeling of freedom and it's excitement. Over the years since, I have come to have that personal perspective I needed to be able to see how important my family was to me. Growing up with family all around me was stifling at times. Then growing up even more without family around me was lonely. I have learned to appreciate my family now in ways that were never obvious to me when I was younger. I am fortunate to have had a family to grow up in because I know that many children don't get that experience. All of these thoughts and emotions come back to me now and I see how blinded I was because of my own selfishness. I needed to get out on my own and understand things in the best way I knew how. I also know that even though I thought I was right about so many things, I was unwilling to listen to others who's advice would have been helpful to me had I the ears to listen. I cannot change the way things turned. What I do today is appreciate my family. They are the part of me I was willing to let go of earlier in my life. Not so anymore. I get it now. Life is really short. I stay connected to my family because I know now that they will always be a part of me.

I must push myself (#545)

Some days are better than others. Usually there is a steady flow to my daily living that is constant. However there are days when I feel I am pushing the rock uphill similar to King Sisyphus of Greek legend. I have to dig deep within me just to do the normal activities I usually do without giving any thought to it. It is a question of what my character is when faced with challenges. Where do I get the fortitude to push myself when it would be so comfortable to rest and delay things? From within my conscious soul. I learned from an early age the concept of perseverance and have incorporated it into my strategy for living. I am not always afforded the strong desire to implement my fortitude but when I am tired I still find a way to push forward. I do not claim any special recognition for doing what I should be doing but I do appreciate it when I can push myself to action when I can get by with not doing so. For me, it is important to present to others and myself a lifestyle based upon my strengths, not my weaknesses. The only way to be strong is by being strong, every moment of every day. For me to be the man I want to be is not only thinking it but doing it. Being accountable and, me, following through, intentions with actions, is all I know. Some days are easier than others and some days I have to work very hard to maintain the level of living I demand of my life.

Society versus natural rights (#544)

This is always the great struggle, how do we conform to both without sacrificing both. The way I see it is to be as natural as I can be without denigrating the demands of society to any real extreme. So now it is apparent that I hold my natural rights to a higher standard of worth than I do the rules of society. The reason is this; society is a structure that is constantly undergoing change. My natural self is consistent and is how I was born. I know the need to have a society that continues to evolve and keep us from chaos. This is valuable and necessary. I also know that generally the concept of society is to maintain and nurture the best of human principles. I have no doubt of the intent of society. What I do have is an individual life that is not a readily conforming nature. Again, society is structured in a general way, it does not fit all of us conveniently. Our diversity is a strength. Toleration of our diversity helps us maintain our individualness and gives us the freedom to live our own individual lives and still fit mostly within society. The purpose for life is yet to be known in the absolute. Our society then must be a loose fit for all of us to be able to cloak ourselves within it. There is still so much left to the unknown and a society that is open to the curious nature we have and allows us through the compassion we feel in our souls to explore the boundaries of the known, has a better chance of surviving as a society and gives us more freedom to express our own natural rights.

I must know who I am (#543)

This is my life. I have a finite amount of years to live. I guess saying that I must know who I am is an obvious statement. Certainly the person inside of my body is me, that takes care of the physical part of the statement. But who am I as to the soul part of the statement. Some questions I can ask myself to help me get a clearer understanding of who I am, are; Generally, how do I feel about other people? Do I have a vision of what life should be like? Do I value my heart and my mind equally? What do I think about our planet and the universe? Do I still hope for greater things for all of us? There are a lot of other questions I could ask myself but these are a few. Based upon how I answer these questions I can get a good idea about who I am. Once we have a better understanding of who we are, we are better able to state our ideas about concepts that are constantly being forwarded. I know we are still changing through continuing education and experience but we don't need to take someone else's idea and make it ours. We can add our own ideas based upon how the concepts line up with who we are. As individuals, we are all unique. Although we have many things in common, we are also very different as well. No person is more unique or the same as anyone else. We all have the same great attributes of humanity. All of us are worthy of knowing who we are and letting the rest of us know what we think based upon who we are. We are all leaders. At the very least we lead ourselves.