For the whole of my life I have been struggling against the constraints of society as they are. Even at my earliest age I knew that life had to be more than this. So it was hard for me to assimilate into the regular routines expected of me. I know I am no different than all the other rebels out there who for one reason or another were not understood as to their rebellion. It is more than the roles we were expected to conform to it was that we were born for greater things than just being a cog in the machine. We knew this but couldn't quite put our finger on the underlying turmoil. So as I progressed through my personal rebellion I was forced by situations and people to move from my rebellion to some limited type role of assimilation.
I began to see the futility of my rebellion since I couldn't label it and then dissect it with logic and reason. But what I was starting to realize was that it wasn't so much a role in life I was expected to play but being part of a burgeoning society that was slowly inching toward enlightenment and modernization. So although I couldn't advance on the unrest of my rebellion, I could placate it with the idea that we were all stuck and some of us were less able to deal with it. But like all things, time has a way of dictating to us our comprehensions. I grasped to the idea that it isn't so much a physical rebellion I was going through as a mental one.
I moved from being a thorn in the side to a salve for wounds. I made myself practical where I could and improved myself where I was lacking. I began to understand that the type of person I would become was more important than anything I might have imagined as to my purpose in life. My newfound understanding allowed me to make myself reflect who I am. I care about all living and many non living things. It is who I am. I also have a wonder that is far more curious in nature than just simple need. It is a want and a desire that goes to the core of who I am. I must know all I can about the mystery of our existence, our Universe and our past, present and future in it. We are not done evolving as a species and with more of that precious time that we all seem to take for granted, we will get there despite our own inability to make the most of it.
I began to see the futility of my rebellion since I couldn't label it and then dissect it with logic and reason. But what I was starting to realize was that it wasn't so much a role in life I was expected to play but being part of a burgeoning society that was slowly inching toward enlightenment and modernization. So although I couldn't advance on the unrest of my rebellion, I could placate it with the idea that we were all stuck and some of us were less able to deal with it. But like all things, time has a way of dictating to us our comprehensions. I grasped to the idea that it isn't so much a physical rebellion I was going through as a mental one.
I moved from being a thorn in the side to a salve for wounds. I made myself practical where I could and improved myself where I was lacking. I began to understand that the type of person I would become was more important than anything I might have imagined as to my purpose in life. My newfound understanding allowed me to make myself reflect who I am. I care about all living and many non living things. It is who I am. I also have a wonder that is far more curious in nature than just simple need. It is a want and a desire that goes to the core of who I am. I must know all I can about the mystery of our existence, our Universe and our past, present and future in it. We are not done evolving as a species and with more of that precious time that we all seem to take for granted, we will get there despite our own inability to make the most of it.
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