(#5790) I am on a journey to find my serenity

      The molecules of my mind and body have been interrupted and stirred to a chaos of assemblance. The uneasiness is tentatively unsettling. So to reclaim the ease at which I had before the election I am trying to dig deep into my reality so as to find a safe harbor so to speak to cling on to. It isn't easy for me since I had put all my chips in on the outcome of the election as I suspected the majority of us who believe in democratic values would do. My suspicion was inaccurate obviously and now I am left with pretty much a blank slate of serenity to fall back on. My disappointment is beyond comprehensible since I am of the hero type who sees all of us as in need of equality and happiness, not just some of us!
     So after picking myself up from the heavy blow the election applied to my full being I have been in an utter state of numbness. Moving about with little thought to the motion of it. I have responsibilities to perform and dutifully I served their demands. Yet my life has no real connection to them other than their importance in the daily scheme of things. What I seek now is the fuel my soul once burned brightly from. I had thought we were all together in the fire of my flame with no extinguishing logical. Yet I am in the dark now looking to see the way forward. My other senses keep me from harm but keeping from harm is not my purpose in life. Having a vision of boldness and truth is my purpose and now finding that paradigm again with a true conviction for it is my what seems like impossible burden.
     Yet, given the uphill climb, of which I am no stranger, I suspect I will find my way back to the thrust of boldness and truth. Being the sharp end of the stick may not be in my future but being a sturdy part of the stick is my resolve. It has only been a month since the dreaded election but I am already sensing a lessening of the metaphorical gut punch effect. The realization that I am trying to regain my serenity is a clue that I am now recovering. The nearly mortal mental and physical blow has been endured and instead of still feeling in critical need of care I am charting courses for my recovery into a form that is both healthy and productive. I am now on my journey to serenity and it is empowering.