(#5810) Another year about to come to a close

      I consider myself fortunate in that I am still kicking around in 2024 and hopefully 2025. I am fine with no discernable health problems so 3 more days until 2025 should be a cakewalk. I have to work today and the next two days to finish this year out so I will be busy and when I am busy time flies. When I was younger I figured there were at least 50 times I exposed myself to death and was agile enough to avoid it. I also lost my biological father when he was 33 so in the back of my head I was worried I wouldn't live past my father's age. Once past that I had thought that if I made it to 55 years I would have had a long exciting life. Well here I am at 69, looking to turn 70 next August.
     My latest mental frailty is that my older brother John lived to 70 years and nearly 6 months. My oldest brother Jim made it 51 years but I didn't have a fear of his passing because my next older brother was still living. Now with me being the oldest sibling I am again in a vacuum as to passing before John's lifespan. I know it is all in my head and is irrelevant to anything logical. Yet I am a human being who is not constantly logical. However my mind plays with my life its existence is not dependent upon my laughable nervousness. I thought about this the other day and as always came to the same conclusion, If I am no longer, nothing will matter about time and space to me anymore. It is all just futile thinking but regardless it is my nonsensical thinking.
     The last three years have been tough in that I lost my Mother Joanne in 2022, my step Father Bill of 60 years in 2023, and my last older brother John in 2024. I am done losing close family members so 2025 needs to put an end to this unfortunate streak. I am getting along in age so there are no guarantees as to who continues to exist and who doesn't. Life is always about getting older and as of yet still impossible to get younger. So logic dictates we prepare ourselves for eventualities while working to keep those finalities in check as much as possible. A rather grim post today but since the Harris defeat I am not feeling light and airy for our new future.