(#5794) I can live with myself because I keep making the correct choices

      When I was younger and less disciplined I would always struggle when things did not go my way. Anger and disappointment fueled my rather bad choices more often than not. My childish years extended well into my adulthood. Throwing tantrums of various types was more my modus operandi than thoughtful reflection and a recommitment to another determined approach. During that less than fruitful time I was my own worst enemy. Sabotaging myself because I didn't care to not sabotage myself. A stubborn anger is my recollection and it was feisty.
     I was fortunate in that I began to see the damage of my behavior and I didn't like it. Still though I was unmoved. I get that axiom now about denial, of doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. But back when I was not as keen in my understanding, I didn't get that. There was no great revelation or light bulb moment. I just slowly began to realize that I was getting nowhere and time was moving on. So I finally learned that anger and disappointment were not my friend. They were clues that things were not working. So instead of embracing my anger and disappointment I let them go and tried new approaches that eventually allowed me to move forward in time with more positive satisfaction.
     What dawned on me was to stop taking shortcuts to rush through when taking the time to do things correctly predominately ended with success. As well I learned that it was doing the little things in life that make the bigger outcomes in life bend toward my goals. I just needed to make the correct choices in every aspect of my life. So no shortcuts and doing all things to my best ability has found me with a presence worthy of living. Nothing remarkable here but significant nonetheless. I got off track back when I was young and in a hurry to live. I have found that living will happen whether I hurry or not. So now I choose to do the correct things, correctly, in my life  and enjoy the benefits of my efforts.