I cannot tell you how many family and friends I have lost from my life because of my need to tell the truth of things that are uncomfortable or that upset the way those people like to think regardless of facts or principle. I often feel like I had no other choice than to be real when the illusion of falsehood is their preferred state of being. There is a sense of loss and I actually feel that loss. Had they been more open to facts and truths I would not feel like this and instead would have a greater relationship than what I currently have. Yet I cannot go back from my choice because I made the right one and no amount of longing for the alternative at times is going to change that.
A sense of loss is the best way I know how to describe how I feel. Yet it is tempered with the conclusion that reality is greater than illusion. Cold comfort however. Yet even that cold comfort is real and I live in the real world where making life better for all is greater than just making life better for myself. I know who I am and what makes me human. I won't lose that for some silver coins or the adulation of power or "friendship". I know the trade off I made and it was not easy. I am no scholar nor wise man of any known degree yet I can see the world without blinders on. I am not captured by the lure of fantasy nor belief that counter my intuitive nature to apply logic and common sense to all that I see and ponder.
I know I have alienated many who used to enjoy my company. Yet it wasn't me to stay the same when there is knowledge to be learned. I have moved on from who I was when I was younger because like reality shows us in every way through time and nature, change is ongoing and inevitable. Our recorded shared human history on this planet is all the proof I need of change being a constant. What doesn't change is my soul and it's compassion and curiosity for all that is or will ever be. Yet I do miss the days from my past that weren't all bad nor void of reality with those I thought had the same compassion and curiosity that I had found. But that isn't so and because of that the time to move on to other people and things is always the answer when the principles of honor, fairness, equality and justice are devoid from the souls I thought were champions of the same.
A sense of loss is the best way I know how to describe how I feel. Yet it is tempered with the conclusion that reality is greater than illusion. Cold comfort however. Yet even that cold comfort is real and I live in the real world where making life better for all is greater than just making life better for myself. I know who I am and what makes me human. I won't lose that for some silver coins or the adulation of power or "friendship". I know the trade off I made and it was not easy. I am no scholar nor wise man of any known degree yet I can see the world without blinders on. I am not captured by the lure of fantasy nor belief that counter my intuitive nature to apply logic and common sense to all that I see and ponder.
I know I have alienated many who used to enjoy my company. Yet it wasn't me to stay the same when there is knowledge to be learned. I have moved on from who I was when I was younger because like reality shows us in every way through time and nature, change is ongoing and inevitable. Our recorded shared human history on this planet is all the proof I need of change being a constant. What doesn't change is my soul and it's compassion and curiosity for all that is or will ever be. Yet I do miss the days from my past that weren't all bad nor void of reality with those I thought had the same compassion and curiosity that I had found. But that isn't so and because of that the time to move on to other people and things is always the answer when the principles of honor, fairness, equality and justice are devoid from the souls I thought were champions of the same.
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