This morning I am reminded of my own mortality. I have aches and pains now that I have never felt before and in processing them I have once again come to the crossroad of how to live my life knowing that it won't be forever. It is a stark realization we all have to face and how we move forward is important. I get that I am going to die and fretting about it does me no good but take precious moments from me. So I just live like I am going to live forever, but in the back of my mind I know that any day could be my last.
The hardest paradigm I have had to face is my mortality. I want to live forever as a young vibrant person but that isn't what life is offering me. I am fortunate that life has given me this much and the gratefulness I have for it is immeasurable. Yet, the realization that life will eventually end for me is not a great positive feeling. I had a conversation yesterday with a man standing in line to get this years flu shot about how in our dreams we can fly and do amazing things in our dreams. Well I wanted to be able to fly in real life like a bird or swim under the sea like a fish but as we humans are so recently into our evolution as a species I must remain disappointed in that sphere. I want so much out of life but as my time is winding down I understand that it won't happen and the little time we get to be alive doesn't give us a large enough window to achieve all our dreams.
So I have somewhat prepared for my eventual demise by taking care of some lingering doable to do's. It won't matter to me what happens in reality after I am gone but I want to leave somewhat of a legacy about what I think should happen and do my best to be part of a healing and bettering of the world while I am still alive. That purpose is what drives my motivations and any thoughts about the end day is less relevant if I am doing what my ideals and principles demand of me. So there is no commiserating nor remorse for the unfulfilled life or any of that bucket list stuff. I just keep trying to be a better me and that should reflect out as me working to make life better for all in my own simple caring ways.
The hardest paradigm I have had to face is my mortality. I want to live forever as a young vibrant person but that isn't what life is offering me. I am fortunate that life has given me this much and the gratefulness I have for it is immeasurable. Yet, the realization that life will eventually end for me is not a great positive feeling. I had a conversation yesterday with a man standing in line to get this years flu shot about how in our dreams we can fly and do amazing things in our dreams. Well I wanted to be able to fly in real life like a bird or swim under the sea like a fish but as we humans are so recently into our evolution as a species I must remain disappointed in that sphere. I want so much out of life but as my time is winding down I understand that it won't happen and the little time we get to be alive doesn't give us a large enough window to achieve all our dreams.
So I have somewhat prepared for my eventual demise by taking care of some lingering doable to do's. It won't matter to me what happens in reality after I am gone but I want to leave somewhat of a legacy about what I think should happen and do my best to be part of a healing and bettering of the world while I am still alive. That purpose is what drives my motivations and any thoughts about the end day is less relevant if I am doing what my ideals and principles demand of me. So there is no commiserating nor remorse for the unfulfilled life or any of that bucket list stuff. I just keep trying to be a better me and that should reflect out as me working to make life better for all in my own simple caring ways.
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