(#5525) I am responsible for my own life

      A lot of things happened to me when I was growing up that had little to do with how I choose to live. But since my 18th year my life has been my own. I had allowed others to decide for me on occasion when I was a young man in exceptional circumstances but again, that was my choice and still my responsibility. I will not nor should not try to escape the decisions in life that have brought about me to this point. They were a combination of great choices and some not so great choices but in sum they were all mine. For the most part my decisions were based in my own principles of honor and dignity but some were not and sadly that is my reality.
     Yet being an imperfect being is part of the growing process as well. None of us has the perfect life ahead of us or behind us but if we strive to keep within our boundaries of intelligence, decency, and respect we may find that our choices will most likely end up being the correct ones. I didn't always consider how my actions would affect others because I was at times selfish with a cynical outlook. I had my innocence tainted and was not prone to being forgiving at times. The dog eat dog mentality of too many now a days was something I immersed in for a time. putting myself ahead of others was not what I stayed in long but it did happen and for that I was fortunately taught a great life lesson.
     I learned that caring for others was actually caring for myself. I learned that putting myself out of the priority gave me a perspective of how others were living. It became apparent to me that by being so selfish I was part of the problem that I was so deadened by to begin with. To fast forward to how I live now is to be at peace with myself and tired as well. The tired is a good tired however because it reminds me that what I do now is worthy and an accomplishment of note. The responsibilities that I carry forward are clearly defined and easy to follow. I want to help make our world, this existence we live in, a remarkable experience for every soul that inhabits the base qualities of compassion and curiosity.