I am beyond those days now that I am much older, but growing up into my adulthood and beyond I remember that the angst of life was always with me. For those of us who were not gifted into really great families the path to find our way was so very hard. Being less well off with a large struggling dysfunctional family kept us from achieving any continuity toward improving our statures through traditional avenues. The school of hard knocks were our teachers and the lessons were often hard pressed. We, a few of us managed to survive the hard knocks and actually made something of ourselves that resembles a bit of success, yet not without a cost to our souls. If anything we may have a better perspective on life but the anger at the unnecessary struggle often clouds our serenity. We like to say that some troubles are Cadillac problems and some are down to earth horrible problems and though they are different they are often considered in the same vein. They should not be. Not having 5 pairs of shoes to choose from is not the same as having to wear the only ill fitting shoes one has. That angst I mentioned earlier was very real and although it caused much emotional disarray within my soul it did provide me with at least a silver lining. It made me produce when producing was hard. I used it as a catalyst to move forward into life instead of letting it tear me apart.
Now that I am older I am still reminded of that angst and the idea that it was good for me is so profoundly ignorant at a minimum. No child should have to be raised without the nurture and care all lives deserve. The hardships notwithstanding, it was the demoralization and constant embarrassment that poverty and condescension afforded through peer pressure and our own sense of burgeoning doubt as to our own self worth. It is hard enough to begin life on a even keel but to have to do it from the bottom of the ocean is unimaginably cruel and shameful to the way our society is structured.
Now that I am older I am still reminded of that angst and the idea that it was good for me is so profoundly ignorant at a minimum. No child should have to be raised without the nurture and care all lives deserve. The hardships notwithstanding, it was the demoralization and constant embarrassment that poverty and condescension afforded through peer pressure and our own sense of burgeoning doubt as to our own self worth. It is hard enough to begin life on a even keel but to have to do it from the bottom of the ocean is unimaginably cruel and shameful to the way our society is structured.
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