(#5273) The homefront

      I gotta say that my life over the last several months has been a challenge to my sanity and my physical well being. My older brother John who has been left with me to care for has been the challenge that never stops. He is obviously not in his right mind because he has reverted to being like a 2 year old spoiled child who can never stop yelling for someone to pay attention to him. Not just the necessary things like feeding and cleaning him but everything else under the sun. His consistent yelling anytime he is awake is enough to drive a sane person to distress. I know he is not himself but his never ending screaming for someone to be at his beck and call is not completely unintentional.
     So I soldier on and keep showing up when I am on a day off from work because it is who I am but I have to find a way to stop his incessant screaming. His latest yells are about he doesn't want to die alone when all he has to do is try to live. It is like he wants us here to live in his room while he does nothing to make himself better. We are at his disposal so much now that I am beginning to lose sight of my own agenda for living. I wish there was some way to have him placed in a rehab facility where health care professionals can work with him to improve his lot. But as he is currently under hospice rules they do not allow him physical or mental therapy.
     I am trying to change that by working to find him a rehab facility that will accept him. None locally have a bed so far so I am hoping another option will come about. But in the meantime my household is like an insane asylum. I may well lose my other housemate because she did not sign up for this utter calamity that is currently our fate. I can get nothing done on my days off because John will not relent in his screaming for attention. No amount of logic with him will work because he has reverted to some primitive form of himself that will only allow serving his every whim. I am exhausted by it and if I don't find a place for John soon in some long term care facility I may need a psychiatric home for myself.