(#5285) I am still processing the news about my older brother John

      I had to work Friday so I couldn't be at the hospice care facility for a meeting where my brother John is being cared for after his fall from his bed in my home. He didn't hurt himself but I couldn't be sure so I called 911 for their help. 911 determined that he needed to be taken into the emergency room to be checked out. Before this happened for weeks I was trying to get John moved from my house to a care facility as he was way too much for me and my housemate to handle. Even with IHSS providing less than 40 hours a week for a care person the degree by which John needed attention was well beyond that and beyond our ability to deal with his fears and shouts on a nearly 24 hour basis.
     So when he went to the emergency room I was able to deny him being brought back home. He was too much for us here. So instead they quickly found a bed for him in a hospice facility. John was here at home in a hospice situation so it was seamless getting him to the hospice facility. But all along I wanted him to go into a palliative care home where he could get rehab in order to better control his bowel and movement functions. Well instead I was informed on this last Friday that 2 doctors had concurred that John was not going to survive past a 6 month window. The nursing staff and the hospice care contingent at the hospice facility were in agreement with the doctors and then called me to present their findings.
     I was taken aback by their conclusion but realized that what I wanted for John was against medical advice. I accepted their findings and allowed them to keep John in the hospice facility without rehab. I am John's medical and legal guardian so it is was all down to me to decide. I am still numbed by all this but I must move forward with it. He had a stroke which cut off blood to certain parts of his brain. He is now starting to show that his cognition, though at times is lucid, is waning. His memories are starting to become confused and from what the medical professionals tell me will only get worse. I will see him as much as I can to see him and make sure he is being cared for properly. I will try to remind him of our adventures together and how much we enjoyed them.