If you are like me you need to see others do wonderful things in order to know what it is like to do wonderful things yourself. I am one of those trial and error guys for the most part so seeing examples of goodness and greatness helps me to design my own life along those same parameters. But I am not those whom I emulate, I am just me so finding out who I am was first on my agenda. Taking into account the totality of my life I start at my young age when my innocence was still abundant. I would watch others and see them fall short of doing the correct thing and get totally confused by it. But life taught me that not all nor even most were practicing the best of who they could be.
Needless to say I got used up by many before I realized that doing the correct thing wasn't in the heart of many. So I began to build my cynicism as a wall to protect me from the ones who needed to help themselves before ever helping anyone else. But before that came about my heart was always in the right place in living a good and great life. What happened next after the cynicism is a whirligig of confusion and chaos. I was lost at sea so to speak and nothing I did brought any safe harbor to my shores. Living with the idea that the best version of myself was not the norm in a world full of different priorities left me rudderless and beholden to the wind of the day.
Yet I found myself, the innocent version, again when I applied myself to higher education and understanding the nature of our species in given circumstances. I began to understand the demands on others as they tried to live a life of worth and that they often fell short and were as lost as I was before I got my understanding of who I was back. I was always a child superhero in my mind who would help wherever help was needed. I understood that my nature was a good one and that the only way for me to live my life with purpose and clarity was to reclaim my passion for being the best of who I was and could be. I took a long road around to find myself again and for anyone out there who is finding this same troubling but ultimately successful path I hope you find your way back to the best version of yourself much earlier than I did.
Needless to say I got used up by many before I realized that doing the correct thing wasn't in the heart of many. So I began to build my cynicism as a wall to protect me from the ones who needed to help themselves before ever helping anyone else. But before that came about my heart was always in the right place in living a good and great life. What happened next after the cynicism is a whirligig of confusion and chaos. I was lost at sea so to speak and nothing I did brought any safe harbor to my shores. Living with the idea that the best version of myself was not the norm in a world full of different priorities left me rudderless and beholden to the wind of the day.
Yet I found myself, the innocent version, again when I applied myself to higher education and understanding the nature of our species in given circumstances. I began to understand the demands on others as they tried to live a life of worth and that they often fell short and were as lost as I was before I got my understanding of who I was back. I was always a child superhero in my mind who would help wherever help was needed. I understood that my nature was a good one and that the only way for me to live my life with purpose and clarity was to reclaim my passion for being the best of who I was and could be. I took a long road around to find myself again and for anyone out there who is finding this same troubling but ultimately successful path I hope you find your way back to the best version of yourself much earlier than I did.
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