I am talking to myself but it seems I don't listen to myself in the area of physicality. I keep trying to do things that I did when I was in the prime of my younger self. I know this because after yesterday, I feel like I got run over by no small truck. Yet in a few days I will feel a bit better and sure enough I will go back to thinking I am superman, without the cape that is. lol. Yet as I do the efficient leveraging of a young strong man I do realize that if I don't it will be a much more difficult chore especially when I don't have the help required to do it like a 64 year old man.
So I am caught between the reality of do it now or wait and do it when I have help. I am a stubborn soul and the winner of these types of choices is usually the now over the later. But then I pay for it with aches and pains that destroy my sleep and my ability to walk upright with any ease. But I don't ever seem to take into account this outcome of the doing it now. Yet the project is done and for that I find some solace in my suffering.
I suppose I have some psychological disorder that prevents me from rationalizing my age and ability in the present with the hard task I am about to attempt. Or I am just not sharp enough mentally to accept that the price I pay is a heavy one. In my decision to get the job done physically my mental equation on the cost/benefit analysis takes a hike. I guess my lazy approach to reconciling my objective outcome is concerning. Yet the bravado I fall to is my old friend and constant companion it seems. As I get older I might have to accept that me being 20 in my mind is never going to change and if something befalls me because of it then that is just the price I will have to pay for my choice.
So I am caught between the reality of do it now or wait and do it when I have help. I am a stubborn soul and the winner of these types of choices is usually the now over the later. But then I pay for it with aches and pains that destroy my sleep and my ability to walk upright with any ease. But I don't ever seem to take into account this outcome of the doing it now. Yet the project is done and for that I find some solace in my suffering.
I suppose I have some psychological disorder that prevents me from rationalizing my age and ability in the present with the hard task I am about to attempt. Or I am just not sharp enough mentally to accept that the price I pay is a heavy one. In my decision to get the job done physically my mental equation on the cost/benefit analysis takes a hike. I guess my lazy approach to reconciling my objective outcome is concerning. Yet the bravado I fall to is my old friend and constant companion it seems. As I get older I might have to accept that me being 20 in my mind is never going to change and if something befalls me because of it then that is just the price I will have to pay for my choice.
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