(#5097) My mind is willing but my body is tired

      I feel like a ton of bricks landed on me but my mind is ready to go. Such a conundrum. Aging is a real bummer when it comes to how my body is always lagging behind my thoughts. What is real sad is that my younger zest for life is now tempered and would have been perfect had I still been young. I was too zealous in life, almost like my hyper was a degree to much for me growing up. Now my hyper has slowed but my body has nearly become stagnant. I mean I still do some things that I want but not to the degree that I had done when younger. It is almost like a couple of examples I often think about. I wish my wisdom now was with me when I first started out, or my teeth would grow back in when I am old not young.
     Such it is with my body. I wish it had been less hubris at the early ages in order to maintain more of that energy now that I am older. I am only 67 but I feel every hard year of effort I squeezed from it. Most of us do not get to take life easy and still pay the bills. We have had many physically difficult and demanding jobs that wore us down over time. Plus being young we wanted to keep playing sports in various ways that added to the wear and tear of our biological forms. I think I could sleep for at least a week or more given the tiredness I carry with me. My mind is not weary like that but my body sure is. I have spent the last 20 or so years getting used to being tired most of the time as a consequence of getting older. I accept that mentally, but hate the fact of it physically.
     Every day of my life is filled with chores now. I cannot take a day off from anything if things are to be done. Sure I could arrange for someone to tick off the box of known activities I accomplish daily but the unknown ones are not easily scheduled. I am always trouble shooting something around here or in my life so there is no checklist for that. I enjoy being a closer on so many problems that arise but that in itself makes me more indispensable not less. So like this daily blog, for the vast majority of it, it is a daily task. My animals and this household need all and even more than I can give. So the idea that I can sleep in or go away for more than a day is unthinkable. I get up way too early when I am bone weary and do what needs to be done and then if I am lucky I can get a nap or two during the day before I go to sleep way too late. Such is my remedy for now.