(#5188) My daily struggle

      Life is hard enough for me to do the things I need to do and still I know that with all that done there is still more I need to do. It is exasperating to me. I am pretty good at doing what absolutely needs being done and that is about as good as it gets. Yet there is more to be done. Then throw in the extra that others want me to do for them and it really gets unsettling for me. I don't mind doing something for someone once in awhile but as an ongoing theme that gets old real fast. Especially when people are too lazy to do for themselves. I don't like enabling anyone because it wears me out and doesn't help the enabled.
     But I find myself stuck in a bit of a loop for now and it is tiring. I get less sleep and more anxiety for my troubles which doesn't do anything positive for my mental or physical well being. I have to be a bit harsh in the future and not let myself be drawn into the mind games others like to play when they are pretending to be victims. They need to be responsible for their own selves and not such childish creatures. I am not the answer to their problems, they are and the sooner they realize that then the sooner we all can enjoy our lives without the extra duty of carry loads that are not ours. Again, I am okay with doing some things periodically to help when I see the help is needed. But the utility of victimization is a non starter with me.
     I will get through it all because I don't stand for fools playing fools. I will force some to fend for themselves when all it takes is them apply some effort. My heart is getting harder when it comes to these types of people and that is natural I do believe. I wouldn't mind it as much if the help I give was reciprocated in some way but it rarely is. I am a single human being who does not have any responsibility for any other soul as I have never been married nor had any children. So my legal and moral duties to any other soul is limited. I am not a hard person by nature and am willing to be helpful but not to be used in such a way. Anyway, struggle I do with those who try to skirt what they can do for themselves.