(#5350) A duty of care to my brother John

      John and I were born in succession, John first then me 21 months later. We weren't real close as young children as Jim, the oldest, was John's preferred companion. But over time into our teen years Jim drifted off toward marriage and John and I began to hang out when possible. We had some pretty cool adventures growing up in the late sixties early seventies. When you do unique things together you form a bond that is quite strong. Since our teen years we both drifted off into our different lives and although intersecting at times we both lived apart for many years. John had a family of his own and I the reluctant bachelor had many more adventures ahead of me.
     As we got into later life John found his way into my home letting a room in my house. For years we got along mostly pretty good. But then earlier this year John had a major stroke. We didn't know how bad it was until his symptoms became painfully obvious. John had gotten a few more minor strokes and a problem with his heart to add to his debilitation. The sum of it was that John was not much able to feed himself nor keep himself clean. He needed attending to so he was given, according to his condition and several diagnosis's from doctors, a determination that hospice care was his only option. This didn't sit well with me but after having him in my home and trying to take care of him along with a care worker I soon learned why the doctors identified John as needing hospice care.
     With nowhere else for John to go, I was able to get hospice to take him into a care facility. What is disheartening is visiting him and seeing glimpses of who John is or was and then being confronted with how John is now. He feels it as well as he often asks me what has happened to him. I tell him he has had a stroke and that he is now under care for it. He wants to come back home and a part of me wishes he could recover in some miraculous way for him to do so. Likely it will not happen but his hope is all I can I can offer him. He knows I am in his corner and that is still the bond we had all those years ago.