(#5401) The struggle between my body and my mind

      I am not in total control of these two complicated parts of what makes up me. My mind is still the young boy who was full of adventure and discovery while my body has become this older shell that is very limited in what I used to be able to do. The evolution of my body from young to old has done a real number on my mind. I have had to slow down my body to accommodate for it's lessening functions and meanwhile remind my mind that I cannot run and jump like a 10 year old. We all have this struggle when aging is the catalyst but mine is unique to me because I am experiencing it within me.
     The struggle is where is the line between acceptance for both my body and mind in an evolving situation that has no clear delineations. At times my mind refuses to stick with the protocol I try to implement for both and it makes me hurt in ways that my body pays for. Then other times my body reacts from previous knee jerk conditioning that my mind as yet has little control over. Either way my body is the one to suffer. I know I am the one who should be able to control these two paradigms that make up the whole of me but that is not my reality. My reality is two halves of a whole that have yet to come to a consistent mesh point.
     So it is with me and I suspect the many other of us. No one said that life would be easy but being in a struggle with my one being was not one of the factors that I thought I would be spending much time with especially given my age and the time I have had to bring both together. I am fortunate in that I have both physical and mental attributes that still have a lot left to give me but the winding down of them is what I must have left off my agenda for living. I will adjust and eventually make both halves of me work together for our own benefit but it is like two spoiled children both wanting their own way. As the boss of them I will find the discipline to mold them into one tight enterprise and that is now a priority with me. :)