(#5411) Keeping dreams alive

      I don't know why I seem to want something more in my life but there it is. I suppose it is because I am getting closer to the end of my life than when I began. I keep thinking about what could be as I move forward in my current state of still working full time to make ends meet. I don't have to do things this way as there are other options I haven't explored yet. I am in a comfortable situation where my options are good ones if I decide to change things up. I also suppose that keeping my thoughts on possibilities helps to invigorate me when I am not properly motivated. Find a way to get through another day is my main concern.
     I am not at an imminent risk of losing anything dear but I do worry about my health with the full time work that is not easily accomplished. I can do the work but the cost of how I feel each day does worry me. I think about the benefits which are very positive like the extra pay and the busyness of the activity which keeps me stronger than I would be if I were not working like this. But the downside is that I hurt everywhere and the pain is not subsiding in a quick way. It is with me when I go to sleep at night and then there in the morning when I awake. I know that something must give but the timing of that give is still beyond my view.
     So ponder away like I have been this morning for the previous 45 minutes on a pathway that is starting to develop in my mind. I will flush it out further today as I have time within my work today and see if it makes sense once I have it all outlined. I want to have my time back but I don't need the pressure of paying bills on a tight budget. I need to reduce my bills and that is the gist of how this idea of mine is shaping. All of this is telling me that my body is demanding a change while my mind is not as sure the change needs to happen right now. I can moderate for the time being but I leave myself vulnerable to the unexpected and my own less than stellar logical protections.