It is a privilege being me in one sense, I am of the full gamut of emotion. What stirs my anger is people who treat other people without respect or courtesy. I can barely keep my civilized composure when I am around bullies or ignorant selfish ones. It is a good anger in that it defines my steely nature to fight and defend the best of what we humans should be. I will not tolerate the childish nor the psychopathic who would put themselves above others without being put there through logic and humility. Oftentimes my anger is motivated by the natural unfairness of life when it takes and it gives without design and scale. I am the epitome of a force so strong that my body can barely contain it.
Yet there is another side of me that is as personally charged as my anger and joy and that is my sorrow and the depth to which it permeates every cell of my body. The ache of heartbreak is like the universe's imploding black holes. Sucking all of life out of me and leaving me with a void that has only brokenness as a remnant. I suppose like my love, my sorrow is also so full of depth that they are necessarily the two sides of the same coin. When the sorrow time comes I am numb to what is going on around me to the extent that nothing else really matters. Yet my love for others brings me back in time to continue with my life beyond the void I must eventually process and compartmentalize. Whether anger or sorrow, both are overcome within me by time and the knowledge that I must go on.
I am not claiming to have the patent on feeling the deepest or longest but I am one of those who do. It is who I am and I embrace it because the truth of things are more important than the illusion of other things. If being a real person is a crime then sentence me because I am guilty. It is bad enough that life has it's own system for meting out reward and punishment. I don't know why we are here in existence but I will take what is real and be part of that while accepting that part of what makes up the truth and depth of my life.
Yet there is another side of me that is as personally charged as my anger and joy and that is my sorrow and the depth to which it permeates every cell of my body. The ache of heartbreak is like the universe's imploding black holes. Sucking all of life out of me and leaving me with a void that has only brokenness as a remnant. I suppose like my love, my sorrow is also so full of depth that they are necessarily the two sides of the same coin. When the sorrow time comes I am numb to what is going on around me to the extent that nothing else really matters. Yet my love for others brings me back in time to continue with my life beyond the void I must eventually process and compartmentalize. Whether anger or sorrow, both are overcome within me by time and the knowledge that I must go on.
I am not claiming to have the patent on feeling the deepest or longest but I am one of those who do. It is who I am and I embrace it because the truth of things are more important than the illusion of other things. If being a real person is a crime then sentence me because I am guilty. It is bad enough that life has it's own system for meting out reward and punishment. I don't know why we are here in existence but I will take what is real and be part of that while accepting that part of what makes up the truth and depth of my life.
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