Sunday, March 15, 2020

The never ending battle to standing up against what is wrong. (#4061)

     Sometimes I wish I could not have to feel the way I do when I see or hear wrong being done. But it just isn't in me to turn away without fighting back. I get so tired yet I know that the tired is just a sign that there is more work to be done. I didn't get to create my reality instead I have to live in the one that is real. So no complaining or shirking as if I don't understand the logic of this existence at this moment. I know it wouldn't be altogether impossible for me to bury myself into a diversion that let's me escape reality and don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. Yet each time I look for a way out I am faced with knowing I would be quitting on who I am and for me that is not anything I can entertain.
     So when the daily grind of wrong and cruel crosses my path I give it my time and rebutting attention. I had hoped that by now the battles for the best of who we are as human beings would be less basic and misunderstood. But it seems that the simple way out of reality is to be an asshole to everyone who is in a position to force feed some sense of greed or ambition is too great an opportunity for too many. So standing up against the bullies and the ignorant is a full time adventure. I do try to sneak in a moment or two of refreshing quiet in my day so that my internal batteries get a much needed charge but that isn't always possible, so running on empty is often my only choice.
     But when the evening comes I have to stop fighting long enough to sleep as much as I can before my mind takes over my restlessness and forces me to begin again. In these times, especially, the need for fighting back is critical as a most crucial election is merely 233 days away. So over that short span I will be relentless in my fighting for a better world as if my life depended on it because for me it does. It is who I am and I have learned over the time of being me that to deny who I am to myself is akin to laying down and dying. I cannot therefore ever succumb to the tired and let go of the lifeline that is me.

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