12 years ago today I started an adventure that was vaguely familiar but nonetheless memorable enough for me. I let my inner child take over my life and with it the the adult mess I had created started it's dissolution from my life. I was in a bad way in that my choices were being led by my insatiable appetite for escaping reality. A mental and physical addiction to blunting my emotions and my memories. Well I got a wake up call that stuck and with it being my main motivator at the time I was able to change who I was becoming into who I was at the beginning of my life. I recaptured the essence of my inner child.
I started looking at reality with the same inquisitiveness that I began life with. I allowed my mind to boldly go where I had previously shunned away from. Instead of surrendering to my biases, fears and prejudices I examined them. What I had been doing was cowering from what reality might tell me instead of confronting reality to learn what it was. I was living my adulthood in a shell of my own making and it was keeping me from growing while making me ill with my ministrations. I realized that I had hit one of those life changing moments where I was deciding to either get on with living or keep on with dying. I chose to live and to do so my inner child had to take control of my life.
That bright eyed bushy tailed youngster within me is now at the helm. I always liked that kid and now he is back being my genesis. I remember my younger youth and the great desire to be an adult. Yet what I had experienced back then as being adult was not the best of examples. So as I gave way my youth to the adult guide of my life all the wrongs and cynicism I had learned came with me. I lost who I was in that exchange. I see that as clearly as the sky now. But 12 years ago I turned again and instead of continuing with the corrupted version of adulthood, I went back to being my creative caring child persona. Now I have the benefit of experience this time around with my child self leading and it makes all the difference in the world because I get the best of what my youthful hubris brings while being able to filter out all the rubbish that I learned as to what was an adult.
I started looking at reality with the same inquisitiveness that I began life with. I allowed my mind to boldly go where I had previously shunned away from. Instead of surrendering to my biases, fears and prejudices I examined them. What I had been doing was cowering from what reality might tell me instead of confronting reality to learn what it was. I was living my adulthood in a shell of my own making and it was keeping me from growing while making me ill with my ministrations. I realized that I had hit one of those life changing moments where I was deciding to either get on with living or keep on with dying. I chose to live and to do so my inner child had to take control of my life.
That bright eyed bushy tailed youngster within me is now at the helm. I always liked that kid and now he is back being my genesis. I remember my younger youth and the great desire to be an adult. Yet what I had experienced back then as being adult was not the best of examples. So as I gave way my youth to the adult guide of my life all the wrongs and cynicism I had learned came with me. I lost who I was in that exchange. I see that as clearly as the sky now. But 12 years ago I turned again and instead of continuing with the corrupted version of adulthood, I went back to being my creative caring child persona. Now I have the benefit of experience this time around with my child self leading and it makes all the difference in the world because I get the best of what my youthful hubris brings while being able to filter out all the rubbish that I learned as to what was an adult.
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