(#5446) I felt like a tourist yesterday

      This was how I felt it would be when I first thought about making this trip up to Seattle. Let me say this first before I get going on my day yesterday. Driving up into Seattle on the Interstate Highway and coming into the city was as remarkable as I remembered from the past. I am sure there were more festive lights out because of the holiday season but the city was a magnificent display to behold. Nothing quite like the feeling I get when turning the corner so to speak on the highway and seeing the panoramic view the emerald city of Seattle projects. Seattle is my second home and getting here a few days ago filled me with so much welcoming.
     So when I say I felt like a tourist yesterday it was because I did touristy things. I got on a ferry boat and went over to one of the islands in the Puget Sound and visited my sister, nephews, and niece. My sister Caroline is an artist and creates beautiful resin covered ocean shore and wave type designs for wall hangings and counter top display. While there we all went out into the not small waterfront community of Poulsbo and walked the streets filled with local enterprises and a multitude of people. We stopped off at a fish and chip restaurant and had our fill of the excellent local seafood cuisine. We then walked the marina area and then headed up into more shops to admire their products.
     Afterward, when we left the bustling waterfront, we went back to my sister's place and then spent the next 5 hours having a hilarious time remembering and describing our favorite movie and gamer scenes. All in all we had a full day of fun and relaxation that I could not have scripted had I been given the opportunity. I have a few more stops to see family and friends planned and after yesterday's adventure I am l excited to experience whatever they hold. I will say this though, this type of vacationing has its own tiring out aspects and my body has yet to recover from my drive up. It is not like I am hunkered down somewhere and doing nothing but lounging. However the memories I am creating here will carry forward with me like I had hoped I can now say will absolutely be precious to me.

(#5445) A blank slate

     It is Saturday morning and I am sitting at the table with nothing on my mind. As it should be for me since I am supposed to be vacationing and relaxing as a default. So me having a blank slate about a topic for today is the message I want to convey. If you know me you know that I have opinions about just about everything yet today all I am thinking about is my time schedule for visiting my sister which includes a ride on a ferry boat. That being handled and the tickets purchased all I am concerned now about is when to leave and start moseying toward the ferry terminal in about an hour and a half.
     What am I going to do in the meantime before the leaving toward the ferry terminal? I am sitting around right now in my house lounge clothing so changing into non house sitting around lounge clothing will only take a few moments. So what else should or will I do? Finish writing my blog for the next 10 minutes or so, then what? I suppose I could gather together all I want to take with me for the trip. Still there is at least an hour left of nothing yet to fill that little bit of time with. Perhaps, nothing is what I will do but that sounds so mundane.
     What I will say however is that having the choices to do whatever is possible is a wonderful thing. Read into that whatever you will! Today is really now the first day of starting my time here as to planning and doing things. Yesterday was a day of rest and a few errands. Let the public fun begin. :) I am not a public person by choice but it seems I am overruling myself. And getting out there in this beautiful state of Washington is worthy of my putting my homebody persona to rest. What my mission was for this trip included getting to see the faces of those who are my true friends and welcoming family. I find that it is important to make human contact possible whenever the opportunity arises and thankfully I am at that point.

(#5444) A day of rest for me

     I am trying to rest today and knowing I have to write my daily blog post has me struggling to come up with a topic for thought. There is lots of news to chew over like Maine blocking trump from their primary ballot and California not doing so. There is the awful missile attack Russia's putin unleashed on Ukraine last night that killed over 30 civilians throughout Ukraine. While Israel is ramping up their assaults in Gaza. But for me today there is little between the ears to make sense of. I actually am starting to feel a little better than the numbness I felt earlier but I still need to find a good sound sleep for at least a few more hours yet.
     It is a little after noon here in the state of Washington but it might as well be 4 in the morning. I forced myself to get up from bed to at least type something and then post it but I regret that there is nothing I am writing that has much value today. I drove hard all day yesterday so that I could spend a bit of time up here visiting and exploring but I now know that this day number 1 is going to be about getting back to feeling somewhat normal. I will work on that the rest of today and then hopefully tomorrow I can get out into the flow of things and stop in to see folks I haven't seen in too many years.
     I have been wanting to make this trip for so long and now I am actually here doing it. What is even more special is that the University of Washington Husky football team, out of Seattle and my alma mater, has the region up here excited by their still undefeated season and a game coming up on Tuesday January 2nd against a rugged Texas football team. The winner moves on to the championship on January 9th. I hope that both the Texas game moves us on and the game on the 9th is a undefeated culmination for our team. It is special being up here during this time regardless of the outcome but if so it would be remarkable and a memory I will hold with an even bigger grin than the one I already have now.

(#5443) Ukraine bleeds while republicans show indifference!

      This particular instance of republican intransigence while Ukraine is fighting for their lives is one of the most horrible instances of republican indifference. I am ashamed that they are backed by too many American citizens who have somehow forgotten the good that democracy brings. Ukraine is fighting against a tyrant in order to install a democratic government for themselves. You would normally think that a democratic nation like ourselves would be on the side of those who also want to choose democracy. But not in this case. The republican party has seen fit to help Russia, who is not a democracy, against Ukraine that is fighting to become a democracy.
     Some one tell me how a political party like the republicans in the world's greatest democracy is failing to stand up for a new burgeoning democracy that is pleading for their help. I cannot fathom the reason even though republicans scoff and say the money isn't worth it. What good will money be when our own democracy comes under attack because we fail to help secure democracy around the world? How do the republican accountants square the cost of losing our own democracy to what little in relative terms Ukraine is asking for? How can an individual with any human decency not understand that helping our friends against our common enemy is the correct thing to always do?
     Instead the republican party is purposefully aiding Russia to help them defeat Ukraine. I don't know any other logical way to spin the truth of this that is not an outright lie! The American republican party has lost it's identity and is now supporting our enemies instead of our friends. For those who still will not accept the fact of this post by me then you are also a putin ally. How has this happened that too many American republican citizens support the tyrant and his regime of oppression when they should be supporting the Ukrainian effort to establish their democracy. This time in history will be a baffling one that jeopardises our own democracy for what? So putin can be a world tyrant? I just don't get how American republicans can support those whom our foreparents fought so hard to defeat!

(#5442) Love will find a way just like the will power of Ukrainians

      We all know the power of love, it is indefatigable. Which is my segue to Ukraine. They will not be stopped no matter what happens to them. If they were down to their last bullet they would go to hand to hand combat. There is nothing that compares to a nation of patriots like in Ukraine who are fighting for their very survival against a tyrant in Russia who would wipe them off the map if they don't bow down to him. Well maybe one thing that compares, our forefathers and mothers who fought against what seemed like an insurmountable enemy to claim our own freedom and liberty in 1776. Love and Ukraine, are two like peas in a pod at the moment.
     The sooner Russia understands that Ukraine will never relinquish their nationality nor their sovereignty the sooner Russia mothers and fathers will not keep losing their male children to the killing fields in Ukraine. So the Russian parents of these soon to be conscripted cannon fodder had better find their love for their children and act on that love by stopping the putin hellscape they are currently trapped in. Whatever they must do they need to come together and stand up to the bully tyrant who is fine with having the Russian youth pay with their lives for his own ambition. The payment is too high to pay for the insecurity of an empiralistic tyrant who has no empathy for the truth or the deaths of his countrymen.
     Love and the will to survive are two resilient emotions that are connected because they both require a response that is purposed and resolute. As love often defies logic so does the sacrifice of some in order to overcome a much stronger aggressor. Little Ukraine against the giant Russia was supposed to be no contest. Well when the greater good is tested the obstacles no matter how impossible at first will be found out as just speed bumps. If you think about it the Ukrainian story here is a love story that is in the midst of their own struggle to survive. Ukrainians are freedom and liberty loving yearners for democracy and are putting their lives on the line in such a show of passion and immediacy that their resolve will not be denied!
     
     

(#5441) My last week of storage work

      3 more actual days of work left on my calendar in the full time position at UHaul storage. I can say right now that it is a welcome thing to finish up this week and then start a new work schedule back to transfer driving. I am taking a week off to go up north to visit family and friends after January 1st as a reward for being such a hard worker these last 10 months or because I am just tired and need to rest and do something different. :) I am so looking forward at the moment but still I need to finish what I started at storage and then catch my breath. A day of organizing and then I am off on the road like I have done so many times before in my younger days,
     This was not easy for me to plan and prepare for because I have been living on a limited income for quite awhile but working these past 10 months has provided me some cushion to be able to go somewhere different for a bit just to change my perspective and give myself a chance at reacquainting and acquainting with old and new friends. I have no illusions about my trip other than I will bring with me a smile that is genuine. I plan to enjoy every second of my trip even the drive up and back. Having a full size SUV rental will be a treat for starters and assure me of an uninterrupted trip. My vehicle could make it easily but it would need some attentive service first.
     With the 4 wheel drive rental vehicle I will be ready for any weather once I get up north which I would not have with my own vehicle. So transportation is accomplished and as for housing when I get up north a wonderful friend has offered me a guest room for however long I need while I am there. For that I cannot express how fortunate I feel. Good company is my goal and I am starting out with good company from the moment I arrive. I have family and friends that I wish to see again in person and places I wish to revisit and visit for the first time. All I have between me and my leaving plans are 3 days of work which I will be starting again today, Thursday, and ending on Sunday.

(#5440) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays but most of all I am thankful for Ukrainians

      Today is the day most celebrate some form of festive attitude toward their given traditions. Me, I am not much for one to get involved in traditional festive associations because it is my best knowing that every day is a festive one that should not be just for one or a handful of days. I try very hard to make every day a special one without the trappings of extracurricular reasoning and cultural mores. I do not diminish the day today for anything less than special as it ingrained in our psyches also as a hope and gratefulness. So today with all the wherewithal the day brings I am reminded that there are soldiers on the battlefield who are defending the rights of all free people who would enjoy a day like today as their choice.
     The strength of the Ukrainian people is an example for all who would look at them. Don't turn your head away from these special people who are not playing life and death games in some rhetorical sense, they are living life and death reality. I am still feeling less than thankful for what the republican party is doing to the promised US aid that Ukraine desperately needs to save many of their people who are now in deaths sights. The republican party is nothing to be proud of on this day. They are the worst of who democracy needs in the moment to protect and preserve the ideals that founded our very own country.
     Despite the republican betrayal on promised aid to them the Ukrainians are determined to fight on no matter what may come. More of them will and are dying because republicans are fools playing with fire. But nonetheless Ukraine fights on. I am saddened by the loss of heroic life but Ukraine will endure despite republican psychopathy. But I am also in admiration of their steadfast approach to the truly American ideal of democratic stewardship. They are fighting to preserve what our American forefathers/mothers established for us and the world should they choose. Well Ukraine chose our American democracy and they are showing the world and history that nothing is more important on any day of the calendar than to defend democracy at all costs.

(#5439) Time has moved along since the last older brother John update

      There is no easy about all of this that has happened to my older brother John. He knows he is not well but he cannot understand why he is not home. I keep telling him that he needs to be able to go to the bathroom by himself, shower by himself and make his food for himself. Until he can he has to stay where all those things are done with his help for him. I have told him a hundred times or more that I cannot do those things for him because it is too hard physically on me and I have no time since I am working and taking care of this house as well. Plus I am only just younger than his 70 years so my ability to muscle and strain are becoming more difficult to accomplish.
     It hurts me to say these things to him but they are the truth and he does seem to understand until the next time when he has forgotten all of this. He is maddeningly frustrated that he has had a stroke and blames those around him for his condition. I keep reminding him that those at the care facility are there to help him not hurt him. He is prone to going off into small rages at times because his imagination and fears tend to boil over into somewhat living hallucinations. Once he has had his medications he seems to calm back down and can have a somewhat lucid conversation.
     I have the day off today which is out of normal for me because on Sunday's I usually work until 4:30 pm and then go to see John afterwards. But today I will go earlier and see how he is doing when he is not expecting me. He does need my visits as his care workers tell me that he does look forward to seeing me on the days I normally show up. So his cognition is still there even though sporadic and he continues to recognize me as his brother. John is not getting better, he is just at a plateau for now and though I keep hoping he will find the inner strength to somehow defeat the effects of the stroke I know I am being optimistic but I will never tell him otherwise. What I want most for John is to keep his hope of getting better alive while also not going off the deep end of hallucinations and fear like feelings. John is still inside his body but it is just a shell now of who I know him to be.

(#5438) Clearly Ukrainians are much smarter than the arrogant Russian invaders

      The Ukrainian people on whole are a marvelous example of intuitive complex thinkers. Although the Ukrainian island defenders flipping off the Russian navy is about as simple as it gets. What I am referring to is the continual victories Ukraine has in skirmishes over the last nearly 2 years. The mighty Russian army against the upstart Ukrainians was supposed to be a cakewalk for Russia. Yet it is Russia that is suffering losses in incredible amounts while Ukrainians are very efficient in their efforts to protect their soldiers. It is almost like the Ukrainians are playing chess while the Russians are fumbling with checkers. The idea that the russian military is some awesome entity is being exposed as a bad joke.
     The obvious rot in the Russian military complex because of paternalism and favor, not merit and hard work, is proving to being their undoing. The Ukrainians on the other hand are studied and practical in their approach to defending and reclaiming their stolen territory. As the russian losses mount to unimaginable heights the closer putin and his kremlin bootlickers get to being undone by their own people. The deaths of Russian boys in Ukraine is absurd and cannot be sustained for much longer. I don't care how many call ups for new troops they have they have already lost over 350 thousand men and as many wounded. Russia has already lost a staggering amount of equipment and munitions.
     Every day it seems that some fuel depot or Russian concentration of forces is being blown up by either Ukrainian military strategy or Ukrainian resistance fighters. The momentum against this ill conceived Russian invasion is growing and it won't be long before all the foundation beneath putin's effort to destroy others crumbles into oblivion along with him and his cabal of enablers. The day is coming for the end of this murderous conflict of putin and when that day comes Ukraine will be even stronger than before the invasion. All putin has achieved is his own demise and the ascension of Ukraine to replace the mightily withered Russian military.

(#5437) The world's billionaires need to support Ukraine!

      If the nefarious forces of ill will toward democracy are keeping governments from supporting Ukraine to keep their democracy then the billionaire class needs to step up and supply Ukraine with whatever it needs to keep the tyrant putin from destroying another burgeoning democracy. What will the billionaires do with all their billions anyway? Might as well do some good in keeping the world an enlightened and evolving environment. By doing so they will preserve the forces of democracy that create opportunities for all to participate thus enhancing capitalistic and social improvements.
     The extremely wealthy have got to realize that when all of us do well then they do even better so investing in preserving democracies and defeating tyrants is an actual cost benefit analysis that makes sense and more than cents for them. A win/win situation where they are actually the heroes and not the villains. Meanwhile the people of Ukraine who are in need of help deserve the chance to succeed and all they need is not for us to fight for them but to give them the munitions to fight for themselves. Otherwise the world will likely fall into a world war if Ukraine does not prevail in stopping the greedy putin and his monstrous land grabbing ways.
     Already several nations of the world are trying to get frozen Russian assets to Ukraine in order to help with governmental supplies that allies of the tyrant putin are obstructing. But a commitment from many of the billionaires of the world to fund Ukrainian armaments would do wonders for the morale of Ukrainians and also for those of us who wish we could help but have no resources to do so. It would be a tragedy to the world in general if Ukraine is not able to defend its society and democracy. For those of us who hold democracy precious above all else it is a must that we protect it from all who would take it from us or deny it to those who love it as much as we do.

(#5436) 350,270 dead Russian young men in Ukraine with more to come

      The audacity of putin to kill his people is astounding. For what? To stop Ukraine from being a freedom loving nation? That putin would destroy his own people so that freedom can be oppressed is not to be allowed. Yet it is allowed by the Russian people. Again, I call on the Russian people to rise up and stop being complacent about their children dying in huge numbers every day. The Russian conventional military is being decimated as well so for all who are looking at this horrendous Russian invasion from the outside we can only see putin on a mission to destroy his own country.
     No matter what Ukraine will not fall to the Russian invaders. If Ukraine is seen to be faltering to Russia because of the overwhelming numbers Russia keeps throwing at Ukraine then other forces from outside Ukraine will become involved. We all know that Russia will not stop if they conquer Ukraine. They will go on to attack Poland, Moldova, Finland and the other European pact countries. The tyrant putin has no qualms with murdering his own people to gain what others own so him not caring about killing other nation's people is fact. The world will fall into a war on a scale that brings all nations into it. So stopping putin in Ukraine is an absolute to keeping peace.
     Fighting a war to keep peace is how it is done when the aggressor nation is willing to kill at a level such as putin. I should not have to explain this in any complex way. It is simple folks, stop putin or get ready to fight from every nation on Earth. The tyrant in Moscow and his kremlin bootlickers are not going to be stopped until they are stopped and keeping those killing fields restricted to Ukraine and Russia is the world's highest priority. With what the republican party is doing by stalling the military aid to Ukraine is to help putin bring about a world war that will involve all peace loving people. The republican party is helping putin achieve his world war fantasies.

(#5435) Recharging my perspective

      My perspective hasn't changed much given no new mind bending information but my perspective at times gets slogged down in the muck that is erroneously presented as a plausible alternative to reality with the obvious ulterior motives. There are forces out there who have only one thing for a purpose and that is to destroy the fact of reality with nuance and hypothetical supposition. Their goal toward achieving the destruction of factual reality is to kill enlightenment and the renaissance of wisdom. They who are failures in honorable knowledge and lesser than wise and honest have the goal of dominating all of existence to their pleasure.
     I posted a song earlier this morning on Facebook entitled Battle of Evermore but my take is that it should be the battle for evermore. Because we are in the battle for good over what I will call evil in this case. The evil is the lessening of what it is to be human. We humans are compassionate and curious by nature so diminishing those traits is the lessening of who we are as a species. The forces or wannabe overlords of our time are hard at work reshaping reality with fantasy and too many followers are being caught up in their drunken miasma. The stench of dishonesty and ego is apparent to me and many more like me. It's effect on me is like crud stuck on my shoe which must be cleansed with an agent of purity.
     I find the simplest agent of purity for me is my generational music. I listen to a couple of songs from my youth and the next thing I know I am back to being that young child/man who was full of vigor and confidence to make our world the better and best it could be. This is how I recharge my perspective. I remind myself why I care and what form I want my care to take. It is not always easy being resolute when so many are not, so whatever works to make sure I am not less than what I expect of myself is appropriate if no harm to anyone or myself is involved. I suppose I will check the noise level of my earphones as a precaution not to harm myself. :)

(#5434) Don't procrastinate on helping others

      There is no time like this very moment to get done what we know is the correct thing to do. I was faced with such a choice a moment ago and chose to do the helping thing over the convenience of my time. I have been on the other end of needing help and then the promised help took so long to get to me because the other party kept waiting on the convenience of it to them. So I will not be like that other party when my part is the helping one. Generally I find procrastination just a lazy way of living. Which in some cases hurts me because I push to get things done despite the possible harm to myself. Physically speaking.
     Like when at work when I see tasks that directly help the service to our customers I prioritize those tasks to accomplish on my shift so that there is no lag to another day. My body is the one that suffers when I push too hard to accomplish my tasks before the end of shift and I feel it until I get back to work. Which is why I am tapering down from full time work to part time work. I cannot stop from being that 20 year old in a 68 year old body so I have to regulate the time I am actually putting myself into difficult physical situations. Me choosing to regulate myself by denying myself opportunities to work. It kind of makes me laugh a bit because hard choices about my instinct to produce forces me to slow down another way.
     I know when my life does end I will miss the times that I felt exhilarated in accomplishing things in efficient and productive ways. Even when I am working I am finding the beauty in how I manipulate every second and inner resource to complete what I am doing. Joy is a product of being the best of who we are and life for me is although painful too much of the time it is not so painful that I can't find the joy despite the pain. Anyway, back to not procrastinating. Like avoiding the pitfalls of doing things through shortcuts, not procrastinating eliminates lost time and as well leaves for more time for other tasks to be considered. Living in an efficient mindset free from procrastinating has few downsides and the upsides are everywhere.

(#5433) I am no god, I am a human being

      I had the misfortune of having to endure a conversation with a proselytizer yesterday while at work. His big emphasis was to imagine a world run by jehovah's witnesses. Where all accepted this belief. His big finish was wouldn't the world be in a better place? Well let me see here. I stood there and listened and then told him that first off starting a paradigm based upon a fairy tale is your first mistake. Second expecting that all would accept being religious within one denomination is absurd. Third, fantasizing about controlling folks as a way to be human was impossible. Later he ended up telling me that I shouldn't judge him for when he judged me. I said I am not judging you, I am judging myself.
     He then said that I must think I am a god for judging myself. I said to him that judging myself is my right since I am the only one living inside my skin. Again he said I must think I am a god because I judge myself. I paused for a moment and then said that I am a human being who has the faculty to understand logic and my environment. Since I am a human being I get to judge my own existence as a consequence. I turned from him and walked away because he obviously wasn't hearing me and he continued his attempt to moan about the state of existence without a godhead to lead us. Again I left him with the fact that fairy tales are not the answer to serious questions.
     Those that try to persuade me to their religions are wasting their time. If I could find it helpful to be religious I would have chosen that path for myself but I haven't since logic won't let me. My curiosity has taught me that making things up to satisfy my own fears or wishes is of no value. I will not be persuaded to accept the illogical so that I can exist in a manufactured bubble. I need reality to focus me toward facts and hard truths that are often as uncomfortable as they are undeniably conclusive. My objectivity will not be assuaged by any false sense of safe subjectivity no matter the allure. Anyway, it is nice to know I know who I am despite the insistence of others and their illogic.

(#5432) My drive up to Seattle

      Each day that arrives gives me a little bit more enthusiasm. I am getting things organized as to how the trip that I am about to make will go. Making sure that all is safe and secure here at home is foremost. Budgeting and logistics are complete so the fact of the trip is now eminent. I always in the back of my mind expect some type of obstruction at the last minute because I have lived long enough to know that reality. But nonetheless I am feeling much more likely that things will go smoothly from here on out. I have a plan that seems doable and the idea that my enthusiasm will be abashed becomes less possible by the day.
     In other words I am already imagining myself leaving my home and hitting the road for the trip up north. That feeling of being carefree and alive to what comes next is exhilarating. Imagining is one thing so when the actual moment of me leaving the driveway here is upon me the real feeling won't be just a thought. I am going to drive up and that is going to be something I have done in the past many times. I don't know how long I will take but I know myself well and at that time I will figure out my agenda. I am renting a vehicle that will give me some comfort in operating it so being on the road will not be a chore.
     Not a luxurious vehicle but sensible one and ready for the weather once I get to the cooler/colder climate. What I will do up there for now is also open for possibilities but I at least will be spending time with friends and family that are the kind of people that I admire and respect. This trip is going to be good for me and hopefully those who will get to be in my company. I spent a lot of time in the Seattle area. About 20 years. My bachelor's degree came from the University of Washington and it is an exciting time up there now. I was born in Sacramento and it will always be my home but not the only one as the Seattle area is as precious to me as my home town.

(#5431) I like my new schedule

      I just finished my first week of limited days work. I only work 3 days a week now and it feels much better for me. When I get home at night I am invigorated because the next day is not a work day. I work Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. So no consecutive days of work for me anymore. I am getting things done at home again even though I have a pulled muscle in my back from work. I use the medicated patches and they seem to work pretty good but overall the pain won't go away until I can rest for a sufficient amount of time. Over the last 4 months this home of mine has not been attended to like it needs to be and now I can get back to those chores in a much more timely fashion.
     What is curious but understandable is that I still wake up and get moving at the same time each morning but I don't have the pressure of each day going to work. It is a psychological thing more than anything and although I still feel somewhat tired I am able to sleep during the day when I have the day off. Eventually I will catch up on my sleep and start to feel alive again such as I can. I am also going on a trip up to the Seattle area at the turn of the new year and that will be peaceful and exciting at the same time. Something I haven't done in so long that I really cannot remember the last time I took time just for myself.
     Working 3 days a week is maybe more than I want to but it is easily manageable. I will probably work my way toward 2 days a week but not yet. I need to stay active outside my home so that I keep a balance between being too introverted in my settled ways. Being out in the mix of life offers some interesting takes on how our society is functioning. I have also met some cool folks who I would miss if I wasn't out working. The 5 day a week thing is a bygone paradigm for me and I won't miss it. Even when I was young I didn't like the drudgery of a 5 day work week and even less so now. In the bigger picture I would hope that society would go to a 4 day work week so folks could have real time in their lives to do more than spend it away working.

(#5430) Courage is a constant state of being

      The ease at which many can just ignore the hard in life is why we are in this predicament at the moment. So many choose to ignore the difficult that we all face and instead focus on their safe mundane activities to get them through. Well like the proverbial Ostrich, sticking one's head in the sand to avoid the difficult is not a solution but instead a cowering. Surely this statement of mine will once again be ignored because we who are gifted with much can't seem to find it within us to defend it for others. We have ours and that's all that matters it seems. I don't feel that way because like I just said I was gifted it not earned it.
     So fighting for freedom of choice to decide our own individual fates is my purpose for living. It is a heroic purpose and one I will always humbly work to create. I am no hero but I am no coward either. I do not unsee the truth when it is convenient or scary. I am full of the vigor of being a better person no matter what the challenge. So I carry my courage with me everywhere I go. It isn't something I pull out when the safety is assured. It is always my default position even when the conclusion is a detrimental possibility. I cannot become less than courageous based upon a calculation. I can assuage my actions to lessen danger but in no circumstance will any fear change my purpose to live as a free and strong human being dedicated to protecting the best of what all of us can become.
     Ideals are not for fools or cowards, they are for the strong and those of us convicted by a greater purpose than just ourselves. We who choose to live in the light of honor and noble purpose are what the less than noble fear the most. They would use their cruel and brutish ways to subjugate the many in the name of their own frail egos. When is the time for us to be with our courage every single moment? Right now if that is what you choose. Otherwise stick to your distractions and continue to ignore reality in real time. We don't find the precious in life by being less than worthy of it. No one can tell you to live in your courage and fight for what we all know is the best of who we are as a species but yourself.

(#5429) The republicans are abandoning democracy in Ukraine

      I never would have thought that one of the two major political parties in America would abandon democracy but I have lived to see the day. It is a political strategy by the republicans to deny democrats anything that could be perceived as a positive. So they invent their lame reasons for now stopping help to Ukraine so that the democrats are seen as weak and ineffective to voters. The people of Ukraine are the ones who will suffer because of the republican gambit to take power by thwarting democracy. To me it is insane that the republicans would think that by stopping democracy in Ukraine and helping putin the tyrant they would get more votes here in the 2024 election.
     But it seems that insanity is the new strategy for republicans because they have no sane way of attracting voters without changing their party platforms. So they will stop funding the defense of democracy in Ukraine, blame it on the democrats, and expect the electorate to believe them. With the American corporate media behind them they figure by controlling that narrative that eventually more people will begin to believe their propaganda. I have seen enough of the American electorate to know that it is at least possible because too many here in the states are so short sighted and forgetful. Yet I and many more like me will not let the corrupted American corporate media spin the deception of republicans to their favor.
     We democrats will unite behind our leader Joe Biden and then begin to tear into the lies of the republican party and the western world media will help us. Ukraine by the way will find a way to survive Russia without our help and when the voting happens here in little more than 10 months the republican party will be thrown out of leadership and we democrats will again support ukraine with a gusto because there will be no republican obstruction. So many good things will happen after the vote in November 2024 but getting there is going to be harsh and cruel for countries like Ukraine who are only trying to save their democracy. Eternal shame of republicans!

(#5428) The republican party has sided with the tyrant putin!

      I often leave off punctuation marks at the end of my titles but not in this case. An exclamation point was needed to make sure there is no doubt as to my disgust and shame for what has become of the republican party. Ukraine through its President Zelenskyy was in Washington yesterday pleading with republican leaders for the aid package democrats have proposed to help Ukraine defeat the democracy destroying attempts of putin and his Russian allies. Well it was shown that the republican party is not an ally of democracy but instead an ally of Russia. We know that republicans are against democracy in principle through their actions here in America but to abandon Ukraine to Russia is another step down for them.
     The republican representatives in the Senate and House have enough power to stop the aid package from ever being voted on in an up or down fashion. The Senate rule that a 60 vote threshold has to be reached before a bill can be voted on with a simple majority clearance stops bills in the Senate as only 51 voting for democrats are available. So the republicans would need to provide 9 votes out of their 49 votes for the aid package bill to get to an up or down vote. Yet no republican will vote to help democracy in Ukraine. In the House the republicans have the slim majority but they won't vote to produce a bill of their own to help Ukraine.
     The idea that the republican party can thwart democracy in favor of the tyrant putin who is overjoyed by the republican stance to kill democracy is the furthest thing from being a hero. All American heroes who are/were, present and past defenders of democracy are as nothing to the republican party. The anti American republican party must be chastised and punished for their betrayal to the ideal of democracy. Those who vote for these anti American creatures are themselves an abomination to our constitution and our Declaration of Independence. These republican supporters are either ignorant in their own perceptions or are of the same stripe. The republican party wants to destroy democracy in Ukraine, much like they are trying to destroy democratic ideals here in America. The rest of us have a duty to stop them from doing either!

(#5427) Are you scared of republicans enough to bow down to them?

      The time for fighting for democracy is right now! So what will it be? Will we all fight to keep our democracy or will too many of us fall down on our knees and beg for the republicans not to be too harsh on us in our new role as servants? I will never be a servant to a cruel master nor serve one who has taken away my liberties. But that is me how about you? If you are still in denial about this then you are not even able to decide which course of action to take and will have the course chosen for you when you finally figure it out. But then it will be too late and your plans that were more important than protecting your democracy will be for naught!
     America is now at the point where it is either put up and fight for democracy or shut up and accept that democracy is being taken away. There is no sitting on the fence or sitting this fight out for any of us. The time to decide is today and the decision must be final. Because the forces that would take democracy from us are building up a war chest of collusion, coercion, and confusion that will inundate us to the point of bringing chaos instead of peace. So we each have to look to our own inner self and find out if we are a brave people or a cowardly people. The moment of truth is here so don't be caught not knowing what you are willing to fight for.
     This call of mine is not a drill. It is not a howl into the night. It is real and a clarion call that is much like the ride of Paul Revere. Prepare to fight or prepare to cower. Your choice! I will fight and I ask that if you are afraid of what republicans will do to you if they somehow win then use that to stir your emotions toward an anger at them which will push you past your own personal fear. Find yourself on the correct side of protecting democracy from the worst of what humans can become. Only democracy has all of our interests at heart so help us protect that heart and stand up and give the republican party the middle finger!

(#5426) My processing unit, my brain, is still functioning

      I have posted about this several times over the years and it hasn't changed because it is about how I absorb information. I am sure as I get further into age my physical body, especially my brain, will falter to lower levels of cognition but for now the gears of my mind are oiled and humming. My five basic senses are my probes into existence and bring me information on a constant basis. As this information is accumulated I apply my logical sequencing to it. Reason, analyze, and conclude. Now that is for current information and long term memory information at the same time. Being able to understand the difference between short term knowledge and its long term consequences is an imperative for a more complex foresight.
     Much like there is a past, present, and future, the rationale for knowing what will happen in the future is often found in our present and past. This chain of linkage is not absolute but in most cases they are. So it is with information. What we learned in the past and now in the present will often dictate what our futures will look like. At least in theory. Our minds are amazing but not full proof. Which is the genesis for us not being an omnipotent species. In lieu of that I and many before me find that a continual gathering of information to envelope into our knowledge bases is critical to our own further understanding of this existence and our future in it.
     Like the two Voyager probes, we humans are on a path toward information gathering. I like to think of us as biological probes who are also the mission control. We adapt to circumstances that obstruct or try to shape our destiny's with maneuvers that continue the mission we have for our own discoveries. As long as we still have the faculty of our minds in good order we are on an flight path that is adept at keeping us moving in our preferred direction. Most likely none of us has the real time to achieve our furthest out goals but like all things in a time centered life it is the journey much like with the Voyagers that is important. We go until we cannot go any further and then we commit our information to the rest of existence so that someone else can benefit from it.
     

(#5425) We need more private funding to help Ukraine

      Since the republican party is holding the Ukrainian aid package to their own agenda then it is time for the private sector billionaires and the rest of us to step up and defend democracy against putin. All billionaires in America are thus because of democracy so them paying forward their appreciation is needed. Keeping democracy for all of us is what got them their ability to succeed financially in life. So them defending democracy where it is being attacked is what fighting to protect democracy is all about. Life has given them an opportunity to be bigger than themselves and actually do good with their gotten gains.
     The republican party has taken hostage the Ukrainian aid just so you know. Where the aid would immediately help Ukraine rebuff putin and actually go on the offensive is now not available. That putin knows this and is now attacking Ukraine with the expectation that the funds won't be allocated is to me a collusive act by republicans who are now aiding Russia with their tactics. The republican party knows this but is acting like they are doing a noble thing. Well border security is important but not as important as being complicit is killing Ukrainians by aiding putin. Border security can be obtained but not at the hostage taking and murdering level. Shame on republicans for this despicable political tactic.
     Which is why we need another source of revenue that is not obstructed by the republican party. We democrats, independents, and even some like minded Ukrainian friendly republicans can make a start at gathering a donation to Ukraine that would likely help to offset the hoped for public aid that republicans are now forbidding. Playing politics with people's lives doesn't seem to faze the republican party because they are so hardened to uncaring for lives in jeopardy. The republicans sit back in their comfort and safety and through denying aid to Ukraine effectively accept losses of life that need not be for their inaction. The republican party is the worst of what people can become and a hypocritical stain on the democracy that they otherwise enjoy!

(#5424) I am now in the wind down phase of my working schedule

      The way I have my days set up for the end of my time as a storage worker is that I will not again work back to back days. Every day I work from now on I will have the next day off. My plan is to finish 2023 by winding down to 3 days of work a week with only 2 days during christmas week. That way I can get my body back to some semblance of normalcy while still helping the storage facility replace me. Working Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays will leave me a day off each day to recuperate. When the last Sunday comes around on New Years Eve I will officially finish my last day.
     When the new year starts I may go back to transfer driving immediately or take a week or two of time off before switching occupations so that I can go visit family and friends in the Seattle area. I have not been on what one would call a vacation since I don't remember when. It would be nice to have the time to do what I want when I want without the daily responsibilities of chores and duties. I will be taking Billy my long haired Chihuahua with me as company so there are some chores and duties with that but not much when I think about his company. I am not positive yet I will go but I am gearing up for that probability.
     The best part though of this storage job wind down is that I will not be working 2 days in a row any longer. When I go to work on a day it is like a Friday with a day off afterward. There is something uplifting about this kind of schedule because I still get some hours in but not the grind of doing it day after day. The money I was earning will be missed but I will still be making 3/5's of what that was at full time. My time that is left here in existence is more precious to me now so I am in a win/win situation. Plus it has been far too long for me to see some faces I have known and hope to know better and to look them in the eye will be welcome. These next few weeks will be me also getting my truck road worthy of a trip up north. From the way this post is writing itself it appears I will be making this trip.
     

(#5423) Ukrainian democracy must defeat the tyrant putin

      I don't know how many times I will end up saying this but Ukraine must defeat Russia and send Russia back to its original borders. There is no other scenario that is just and correct. Russia invaded Ukraine not the other way around. Ukraine wants democracy and Russia does not want Ukraine to have democracy. These simple facts should be enough to energize and mobilize all the modern western world who has democracy now to have Ukraine's back to the fullest. Yet some forces of power and privilege would deny Ukraine the right to self rule and instead reward the villain putin for murdering another country.
     For all the apologists of putin out there the fact remains that putin invaded Ukraine. If you reward him for doing that then the next country on putin's list will be that much closer to yours. If you are an American and support the tyrant putin over democracy then your foreparents would if they could be turning over in their graves. How much shame did you ever think you would place on their legacy because they were your foreparents? They fought and died for democracy so you could be free individual human beings with free will and the right to pursue your happiness. Not for their offspring to throw all of that in the trash for a murderer like putin.
     For those who support the egoist putin the right to be free in one's own skin becomes impossible. The tyrants of the world are not about the rights of human beings, they are about their rights over everyone else. So as putin supporters continue to deny Ukraine the necessary means to stop the monster putin the closer we all get to our democracy becoming vulnerable. Ukraine must be allowed to not only defend their territory but to oust those who are attempting to annex it. Democracy is the greatest form of human rights ever envisioned as a societal structure. Where everyone has the right to be free and as brilliant as they want. Why would we not protect that right like our glorious foreparents did before us?

(#5422) Republicans voted against democracy in the Senate yesterday

      I know how politics works and that a no vote yesterday may well be a yes vote tomorrow given some changes in other areas of the bill. This is how politics works in our current form. Yet it is undeniable that the republican party has taken it to another level. This isn't just about getting extra security at the border that is needed it is about reshaping border policy to deny immigration to a class of people. It is the extreme view of republicans and their concepts for a white America that are at the core of their demands. Reducing democracy as a price for saving it is about as low as you can go but we expect that from republicans and their self privileged point of view.
     Another attempt to include some border security measures will be offered by democrats in the next few days but the republicans will still likely find a way to say no to a yes. The most inept politicians who have ever been voted into office on the republican side are about to destroy their one talking point going into the 2024 election. They are all about border security in their drummed up narrative and when they get a result from Joe Biden to alleviate many border concerns they are again likely to say no or just be able to pass the Ukraine foreign aid bill into law. Either way it will look to all voters that republicans got what they needed to relieve the border crisis and then said no.
     I think of a petulant child when I think of republicans. They make demands and then won't accept movement toward their demands. In the 2024 election they will be ousted from any majority in Congress plus they will lose more state house majorities. So in the meantime they will do what they can to fester and destroy any attempts to process necessary politics. The worst of the republicans in the House is not all the republicans so if a deal can be struck in the Senate for the Ukrainian aid along with among other things border security measures then the bill may pass in the House with a few not insane republicans and all democrats. We shall see but the republicans will rue the day if eventually they kill Ukrainian aid and border security come November 5th 2024.

(#5421) I do fight against death but it's eventual coming is inevitable

      You won't see me cry at the end of my life because I fear death because I don't. I know it will happen at some point but it does not scare me. In fact I have accepted the inevitableness of it. Now that is not to say I embrace death as a process but logic in this existence gives no other conclusion. How I look at death, the word is often scary just in itself, is to remind myself that I had to be alive for death to even be a factor. This knowing my life having been lived gives me the strength to accept death on its terms. Whenever that occurs I am satisfied that I have been conscious of the amazing spectacular existence we are born into in this dimension we know.
     I have ideas about what happens after we are dead but they are just hopes for continuing on out of a sense of curiosity. This human life I have now is full of curiosity and I hope that after I die that the curiosity will take another form with me involved in it. More likely I will just cease to exist in any other dimension or existence but at least I can hope. I don't buy into the religious doctrines that tout eternal life for well done deeds and eternal fire of punishment for unwell deeds but maybe something else that is beyond our ability to discern will surprise us after we demise here.
     Either way though if nothing happens after I die I can rest assured now that I appreciated my life and lived a lot of it in that appreciation. So when death comes for me I won't be angry or sad, I will just be ready because I accept that it is the way after we are done living. I wasn't expecting to write about such a morbid subject but there are instances surrounding my life that make it appropriate for me to discuss. Many around me are meeting their final days and for us to not be prepared for them in a honorable way is unseemly. I will always strive to thwart death with every breath I have but when I can no longer do that I am well satisfied that my life has not been without appreciation nor undercut by fear for my ending.

(#5420) I am now really done working full time

      I have given the official notice of leaving my full time job at the end of the month. My boss is good with that and his boss is good with that. Mainly because they both know that as an older man who is trying to do the work of a younger man the toll is getting beyond my ability to manage it. They get it and I am satisfied with my decision. At 68 the wear and tear of a lifetime of hard working jobs like, working on many framing crews, logging crews, and underground mining crews to name a few occupations has left a lot of aches and pains that I still feel to this day. For over the last 3 months I have endured these physical hurts and countered with lots of rest at home.
     Yet resting at home just so I can go back to work the next day and do it all over again has become a liability to all the other needs I have as responsibilities. I can only say that I gave it my best but nature has shown that my best is less than what I had hoped. So at the end of the month or even sooner given how I am going to be replaced I will go back to part time driving. With that I will still have a bit of an income but more time at my home to do my duties here. I will also be able to take some time to travel back up to the Seattle area in order to visit with people I would like to see in person again.
     I thought I had resolved this last month by staying on full time because of another issue but it seems that the effects of aging and gravity had other plans for me. As much as I hurt now and the new aches and pains still arriving I know that the next few weeks will be a lot less stressful for me because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will remember this year as my last stab to go back to who I was as a working man on a full time schedule as a reminder to my flexibility to change when change is needed. I needed to work this year for financial reasons and I did. Now I need to take more me time in order to heal up and enjoy life as it is for me and what the future may bring.
     

(#5419) More Russian soldiers are surrendering

      The meat waves in Avdiivka Ukraine is having an effect on the morale of the Russian soldiers. The leader of Russia, putin, has told his generals in the kremlin that he wants Avdiivka taken before his next election in March 2024. So there are basically 3 months for his demand that Avdiivka be taken before his election which is secured anyway because cheating is allowed in Russian voting. Why meat waves are needed is because the defense of Avdiivka is so strong that the surrounding areas of it are littered with devastation. So little in the way of armored support is available.
     So according to putin's reckoning sending in a what seems like to him an unlimited supply of soldiers to overwhelm the Ukrainian positions is his strategy. Therefore meat waves, much like cannon fodder, is the destiny of too many Russian soldiers. So it isn't surprising that the Russian troops are not happy about an abrupt ending of their lives in their near future. So instead of following orders like rats off a cliff, the Russian soldiers are surrendering to their civilized counterparts. It is a maddening development for putin because he doesn't want any controversy leading up to his signed and sealed election. Yet that is what is happening along with the protesting wives of more than 332 thousand dead Russian soldiers in Ukraine.
     We are at the cusp of 1/3 million dead Russian soldiers with at least that many wounded as well from the fighting inside Ukraine. How much longer can the Russian society absorb these deaths among their youngest generation without repercussion? In the next few months if things stay static then we will know. Something has to give and my bet is that the mesmerizing of putin is finally going to wear off. The historical story of this time nearing the end of putin is going to be a most tragic story with Ukrainians as the heroes and the Russian people as the duped who followed their pied piper leader with an egotistical bent off the cliff of insanity.
     

(#5418) What putin is doing is turning Russia into a factory farm

      As of this morning over 332,000 Russian soldiers have died in Ukraine. What is clearly apparent is that despite these enormous losses of Russian lives the battleground has stayed static. Since winter conditions are now setting in on the frontline in Ukrainian territory the usage of heavy equipment by Russia is not feasible in most offensive operations. So what does Russia do? He orders the infantry into battle with little to no artillery or mechanized support. So Ukrainian defenses are tasked with a simple response to these offensives by Russia, simply destroy these Russian infantry advances. 
     The killing fields of what are described as "meat waves" of Russian soldiers is becoming so commonplace now that 1000 of them a day are dying is the new normal. I know Russia is a big country but when their leaders are allowing the slaughter of their young men to happen with little benefit the vast supply of young men available is dwindling. So what is the response from putin about this reality? He wants Russian women to have about 8 births apiece. He thinks that the Russian women should be like chickens laying eggs everyday for putin to scramble into an assault omelet.
     Think about this for a moment. I entitled this post with the term factory farm included. Because in a factory farm the owner takes his property, livestock, and makes it recreate to grow it for his purpose. Well putin telling Russian women to have more babies for him to manipulate is the same concept. Russia is becoming putin's property for him to manipulate however he sees fit. The Russia people for their part are part of this psychosis of putin as they seem to favor his continued failed invasion of Ukraine and the wholesale loss of their sons and husbands. We shall see how putins latest gambit of turning Russia into an incubator for mass destruction goes and if the Russian women finally say enough of this demented tyrant and his lust for power at their expense.

(#5417) Russia is in trouble!

      So the wives of the soldiers who are dying in Ukraine have finally found their voice. It seems that they are starting an uprising within Russian society that is worrying to the kremlin and putin. Even so much so that Russia is now offering money to those who are prone to protest. Paying off some folk who are in desperate straits may work for a while but many more of those who are without their husbands and fathers to their children are not going to be impressed with the Russian authorities attempts to silence them by bribing them. This may be the real impetus to undermining putin and his murderous cabal.
     The news at the front, although filled with propaganda controlled by putin, is still not encouraging. Instead of boasting of great victories the kremlin is forced to downplay losses instead. Losing in Ukraine along with dissent at home putin and the kremlin are under tremendous pressure to keep control over the Russian society they have constricted. The boiling point with the Russian populace has not gotten hot enough yet but this new wrinkle of wives protesting is one that may well be too much for the notorious Russian imperialists to squelch. Leaving a whole generation of Russian children with no fathers is maybe the bridge too far putin did not anticipate.
     More than 331,000 Russian troops have died in Ukraine to date since 2022 with many more to come. How many more fatherless children will the Russian wives allow? Bread and butter issues have always been the key factors in keeping a society intact but eliminating those who normally provide bread and butter to their families is about as close it gets to being the same. The unrest in Russia with the deaths of so many husbands to young wives is getting really palpable. The pressures on putin and the kremlin are only surmounting and the boiling point is about to be reached. How much longer will the Russian people allow their nation to be decimated in blood and treasure?

(#5416) Never stop doing the correct thing

      Learning this lesson is vital for a happy life. When you realize that doing the correct next thing is always your go to move you will see the benefit of it. It is almost karmic in a way. The self care it takes for us to be happy and confident is rooted in doing the correct thing regardless of what form that correct thing appears. Our one core human duty is to do the correct thing when the correct thing time comes. Whether it is in the little things or big things we must find ourselves doing what is correct no matter what we may find to object.
     We are not the arbiters of how life should be for anyone other than ourselves so whenever the time comes for doing the correct thing is in front of us them let there be no doubt as to what we will do. If we don't respect ourselves enough to be on the correct side of any example then we have failed to be esteemed. No one can take away the respect you deserve when the correct thing is your mantra. It doesn't make any sense for us to withhold the proper path of our presence and future because we could not bring ourselves to do the correct thing.
     I speak from experience as a younger man I tried to take shortcuts and skate through some things that deserved better from me. Not only did it affect me in troubled ways it also deteriorated others who were relying on me to do the correct thing. I learned from those earlier in life mistakes and find now that if I can do the correct thing I am more than ready to do it. I owe a duty to honor a noble principle of carrying my weight. Even when my weight is the weight of others who need me. I know the clock is ticking on my days here in existence so being the better and best of who I can be is precious and a worthy value. So never stop doing the correct thing, and if you are not, then start doing the correct thing!