(#5439) Time has moved along since the last older brother John update

      There is no easy about all of this that has happened to my older brother John. He knows he is not well but he cannot understand why he is not home. I keep telling him that he needs to be able to go to the bathroom by himself, shower by himself and make his food for himself. Until he can he has to stay where all those things are done with his help for him. I have told him a hundred times or more that I cannot do those things for him because it is too hard physically on me and I have no time since I am working and taking care of this house as well. Plus I am only just younger than his 70 years so my ability to muscle and strain are becoming more difficult to accomplish.
     It hurts me to say these things to him but they are the truth and he does seem to understand until the next time when he has forgotten all of this. He is maddeningly frustrated that he has had a stroke and blames those around him for his condition. I keep reminding him that those at the care facility are there to help him not hurt him. He is prone to going off into small rages at times because his imagination and fears tend to boil over into somewhat living hallucinations. Once he has had his medications he seems to calm back down and can have a somewhat lucid conversation.
     I have the day off today which is out of normal for me because on Sunday's I usually work until 4:30 pm and then go to see John afterwards. But today I will go earlier and see how he is doing when he is not expecting me. He does need my visits as his care workers tell me that he does look forward to seeing me on the days I normally show up. So his cognition is still there even though sporadic and he continues to recognize me as his brother. John is not getting better, he is just at a plateau for now and though I keep hoping he will find the inner strength to somehow defeat the effects of the stroke I know I am being optimistic but I will never tell him otherwise. What I want most for John is to keep his hope of getting better alive while also not going off the deep end of hallucinations and fear like feelings. John is still inside his body but it is just a shell now of who I know him to be.