(#5470) Compassion is my constant reminder to keep evolving

      This is not going to be an easy write this morning. Growth takes going through something and discovering what was a previously held attitude or behavior is now no longer acceptable. I had an opportunity to see that last night when I could not distinguish between a curious inquiry and subtle distrust. My take was the wrong one and instead of trying to distinguish the moment I assumed the wrong interpretation. I am not surprised at my misunderstanding because in the past there were similar circumstances that led me to the same place. However, I cannot nor will I continue to assume when all I need to do is practice more patience and unearth the correct reasoning.
     My emotions sometimes get the better of me and I know it is a defense mechanism that I have structured to protect myself from what I perceive as a possible harm. Yet I am not in need of protecting when the perceived harm doesn't exist. Even if it does I still need to address the situation with a calm approach. I take great care to support a happiness about me and a peaceful behavior to better reflect my inner self. I do disservice to those who are in my sphere and myself when I am not approachable when complex misunderstandings come about on my part. I am not an angry person by default but it seems I have a tendency to become angry when I am under the impression I am not being held in a better light than I know I deserve.
     We all should be given the benefit of the doubt as a rule and then it is up to us to honor it. I won't go into the specifics of what I am talking about but suffice it to say it is a characteristic I need to move forward on and recognizing it is the first step in my hoped for evolution. We, all of us, have our idiosyncrises and foibles to defend or change and I am no different. I may be older and somewhat set in my ways but I have no right to be less than who I am at any point when I have the power to change. In my life I often learn from mistakes and that trial and error process must prove a positive otherwise I would never change much and then become so much less than who I really am.