(#5587) The passing of another era in my life

      So early this morning I received a call I had been expecting. The passing of my brother John took place a little before 3 am. As soon as I realized that my phone was ringing is when the first thought that it was to inform me of John's passing came into my mind. I have been aware of John's recent downturn from being able to communicate somewhat to him not being able to physically eat anymore. His body was shutting down and so was his ability to communicate. I have been around long enough to know the signs of passing before the actual passing.
     John lived 70 years and that was too short. A little over a year ago John had a stroke which left him physically debilitated. He had another stroke shortly afterward and it did a real number on him. He couldn't understand why he wasn't his normal self and his confusion led to periodic episodes of hallucinations and fear based anxieties. He was also under some pain from the stroke that left him often having to be sedated. He went into a care home nearly a year ago and spent his last days there. I was there to visit him often and while I could do little but cheer and encourage him he was still angrily fighting his reality.
     I moved away at the end of March so over the last nearly two months I could not be there to visit my older brother. He had gotten much less communicative before I left so I am not even sure he could process that I had left. I came back to see him at the end of April and visited him over that weekend. He knew it was me after I looked him straight into the face up close and told him that I was with him. But his attention was short and he was quickly back into his fears and anxieties. Over the last 3 weeks his condition deteriorated so much that he wasn't able to swallow food. So this morning getting the call was expected but still hard because just over a year ago my brother was fine and he and I were like best friends.